He Didn't Fay the fare.

Otago Witness, Issue 1967, 5 November 1891, Page 45

He Didn't Fay the fare.

The way certain railway servants handle the bags and portmanteaux of travellers is sometimes shocking to the most indifferent spectator, and has ear red for them the familiar name of " luggage smashers." A few years ago one of these men tumbled a long, peculiar - looking box from the porter's truok into a luggage compartment, and stood it on end, in the usual rough fashion, when a stifled voice cried : "Oh, don't ! J ' " Dcn't what? " said the astonished porter staring at the box. " Don't stand me on my head I Turn me over quick 1 " said, the voice. The excited porter hurriedly placed the box in a horizontal position. Then a voice, more stifled than before, called out : " That won't do ! You've |put me on my facel Oh! Oh I" The man hastened to turn the box over, and was rewarded by a grunt of satisfaction

from the voice. Then turning to the owner — a quiet-looking little man standing by — he exclaimed, wiping the perspiration from his forehead : ' " Look here ! you must pay the fare for this boy in the box 1 " " Ob, no 1 " said the ownar. I have carried him thousands of miles on railways and have never paid his fare yet." 11 No matter," said the porter, " you can't smuggle nobody over this line, and if you don't take a ticket I'll set him out on the platform, and leave him standing on his head till you do." 11 Why, sir, he's a dead-head 1 He has been passed many a time," remonstrated the traveller. "We don't pass no live folks in boxes 1 " said the smasher, and he was about to, tumble the box out when the guard came along, and, recogaising the traveller inquired : "Why, what is the matter, Professor B ?" It was in fact Professor B , the ventriloquist, and the occupant of the box was no'other than his automaton " boy " Bobby, that figured in his performances, and always travelled with his owner in this way.