PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1920, 4 December 1890, Page 23

PASSING NOTES.

A week ago the Knight of Erin, unhorsed' by a treacherous thrust from behind, was lying prostrate ; friends and foes were scrimmaging over his body. This week, 10, to the confusion of all men, he is up again, and laying about him right and left with sudden and disastrous vigour. In his present temper Mr Parnell seems bent only on making things hot for both sides, and particularly for his own. Accordingly the Home Rule party has resolved itself into a Donnybrook Fair. Shillelaghs are out, and the only rule ia, Wherever you see a head, hit it. If the Irish alone were concerned there would be nothing more in all this than a " bit of diversion." A few crowns would be cracked, certain reputations would be eternally ruined, and then all would be friends again and everything go on as before. It is a pity that this purely Irish row cannot be limited to Irishmen, and fought on purely Irish principles to an Irish finish. Unfortunately Mr Gladstone is in it, Mr John Morley is in it, the English and Scotch Home Rulers are in it, and these are a set of prosaic people who are not at all likely to appreciate the humour of an Irish free fight. There are already signs that the Irish combatants, if left to themselves, would speedily arrive at the best of understandings. Thus Arohbishop Croke who, more than any other man, ought to be scandalised by the ParnellO'Shea divorce affair, announces that Mr Parnell's private iniquities are strictly a matter to be adjusted between Mr Parnell and Mr Parnell's Protestant bishop. Let the sinner be shrived — if there is any virtue in Protestant shriving — and then everything may go on as before. It is much to be regretted, from a Home Rule point of view, that the fallen Irish leader is not a parishioner of Archbishop Croke's. A political skirmish on the education question is apparently a recreation to Bishop Moran. His fighting instincts both as an Irishman and as a true member of the Church militant are refreshed and invigorated thereby. Accordingly when an election is on he find 3it impossible to keep out of the melee. On any other theory the doings at St. Joseph's on recent Sunday evenings are hard to explain. It cannot be that the Bishop^ own flock are shaky on the education question. These political diatribes from the altar, these passionate appeals, this marshalling of wonderful facts and still more wonderful figures, are surely not wanted for them. All that he can tell them about the godlessness of the national schools and the wickedness of refusing State aid to Roman Catholics they believe' already, and more. He is preaching to the converted. Yet last Sunday night, as the papers report him, the Bishop mounted once more on his cJieval de bdtaUfc—

And thrice he routed all his foes, And thrice he slew the slain. What the Bishop chooses to do and say at St. Joseph's would be nobody's business but his own, were it not that the papers report his sermon next day along with other election addresses, and so make it fair matter for criticism. No dOubt this is what the Bishop desires— this is what he likes. Let us hope, however, that he has been subjected to the wholesome rule which has so greatly scandalised Sir Robert Stojit — first two columns free ; all over that to be paid for. This is the rule for candidates, and we don't know how much we owe it, nor what it has saved us from. Bishop Moran in his own way is a candidate, too, for Parliamentary pay, if not for Parliamentary honours. Without wishing in the least to abbreviate the episcopal eloquence when limited to its proper sphere, I strongly recommend that in the newspapers it be put under the' two-column rule.

Nothing is more deceptive than facts — except figures. From the point of view of grammar this saying is indefensible ; as a rough statement of a scientific and philosophical truth I stand by it. It may be applied without hesitation to Bishop Moran's political and statistical sermons. Of startling facts at d bewildering figures collected from all the ends of the earth they are rammed full. Of the facts take a specimen. •One of the Bishop's critics in the press is a writer signing himself " Wioliff," whom the Bishop, after charitably describing him as a " literary assassin," commends for his " most appropriate norn de plume " — " for be it known to all that one of the dicta of said Wicliff was that ' God should obey the devil,' and our anonymous writer seems to have deeply imbibed the lesson." Now here is a fact that really is a fact. Wicliff did actually write that "God should obey the devil." What he meant by it, the Bishop, since a bishop he is, must be assumed to know very well, and to know that he meant something totally different from the meaning that the horrified congregation at St. Joseph's would take out of it. As to what the English Reformer did mean, let me quote a sentence from Green's " Short History of the English People." Wicliff, he says, is speaking of — the power which the wicked may have by God'B permission, and to which the Christian must Bubmit from motives of obedience to God. In his own Bcholaatic phrase, so strangely perverted afterwards, here on earth "God mußt obey the devil." But whether in the ideal or practical view of tho matter, all power or dominion was of God. In fact Bishop Moran's own position, as understood by himself, illustrates exactly the truth of the Wicliff dictum The Bishop, sorely against his inclination, pays taxes which help to support "godless" schools. And what is this but God obeying the devil ? I put it to the Bishop whether he does not owe Wicliff a public apology. Anyhow, since this is a specimen of his " facts," what are we left to think of his figures 1

Friday the fifth, The great, the important day, big with the fate Of Cato and of Rome, is Bearing as I write, and will be upon us by the time this note is in print. Is the bloated capitalist to bite the dust, or will labour be ground to ditto ? Is Bond street to rejoice in Allen, Leary, and Smith ; or will the Flat glad itself in Hutchison, Pinkerton, and Fish 1 Or, again, will the battle be drawn-

Allen and Leary on one side, and on the pother, either Pinkeiton or

turpitur atrum Ut desinat in Piscem !

I quote Latin partly in proof of my learning, and partly to show that Horace must have had his prophetic eye on Mr Fish. The questions I have propounded I shall be ready to answer next week, for as I have repeatedly observed, I never prophesy before the event. I await with philosophic composure what Friday will bring forth, and shall be prepared to congratulate the conquerors and commiserate the conquered, as becomes a citizen of the world. Meanwhile, I have a large fund of feeling for Sir Robert. Whoever wins, he must lose. He may, perchance, glut his revenge on Mr James Allen by beholding him beaten. He may gratify his grudge against the town by foisting on it his piscine protege. But at how ruinous a cost to his reputation 1 It is a curious and withal a melancholy spectacle — Sir Robert the etainless, our whilom Sir Galahad, masquerading as Falstaff at the head of his ragged regiment of sham Liberals and muttering to himself the while : " The villains walk wide betwixt the leg 3 too, as if they.had the gyves on." Of course, one can't afford to stand on trifles when hunting for revenge. Moreover, when you come to think of it, there is a certain element of dramatic completeness about it — if only it succeeds. Observe how we go from bad to worse: — You Dunedin people, you flouted me for Allen ; now you flout Allen for Fish. What else could be expected? Take him, and stew in your own infamy I Quite poetical this, in its utterness, I say, if only it succeeds. There's the rub. For suppose it doesn't. Suppose both Mr Allen and Mr Fish are returned ! Then, indeed, poor Sir Robert is of all men most miserable. His enemy has escaped him, and he himself stands full in the face of all New Zealand bestridden and beridden by Mr H. S. Fis>h, — a figure

For the slow unmoving hand of, scorn

To point his finger at.

French has been at a premium during the past week, thanks to the presence of the Volta. Her commandant and officers were formally presented to our civic magnates at the Town Hall, and my familiar tells me it was a trying time for all concerned. The town clerk, it appears, did not possess so much as a French dictionary, and the visitors spoke not the tongue of perfidious Albion at all. At the special meeting (unreported) called to consider the situation, the Mayor asked the council what he should do, and the council told the mayor that it was his business, not theirs. To strengthen his hands, however, they were willing to pass a resolution that the matter be referred to his worship and the town clerk, with power to act. Left thus to his own resources, our chief magistrate bethought him of that other awful day — the opening day of the Exhibition — when, under the coldly critical eyes of the full clerical strength of the city, he read that famous prayer of his own composing. He had survived that prayer — he would survive this speech— and he did.

The French commandant delivered himself with Gallic fluency. Mr Carroll smiled expresively, and said " bong bong " at regular intervals of 30 seconds by the clock to intimate that he understood all about it. Mr Sinclair, more cautious or less cultured, contented himself with nodding profoundly, and the town clerk pretended to be taking notes of what was said. The only passive countenance was that of his Worship, who stood quiet as a statue until the commandant stopped, and then, to the consternation and dismay of his councillors, calmly and deliberately proceeded to reply in — English — and very neat English, too I After this came a ball, whereat the officers danced and flirted; and our local aristocracy, greatly daring, adventured themselves on the troubled waters of conversational French. Phrase books were in great demand for days before, and would you believe it, I actually caught Mrs C. herself surreptitiously rehearsing OllendorE with a blooming debutante in my own bed-room. " Have you the bread of the good baker ? " "I have not the bread of the good baker, but I have the beautiful boots of the shoemaker," &c. The ball was a brilliant success, in spite of the phrase books, and so was the outing our gueßts gave us on board in return. I wasn't there, but I know what French courtesy and cuisine can accomplish, and both these elements of happiness were found in force aboard the Volta. We are now awaiting the German squadron, which will have a hard task to overcome our pleasant remembrance of French politeness and French pastry.

Dr Koch has found a cure for consumption, and all Europe — nay, the entire world — is in a ferment. We English people are specially concerned, for there i& scarcely a family wholly free from the taint, and medical skill has hitherto been absolutely powerless. It is hard to say who are the more excited, thu doctors or the patients, for both, after their kind, have a very personal interest in the matter. Cure consumption and the doctor will find half his occupation gone— a somewhat serious thing in these days of patent medicine and consulting chemists. Hitherto a well-to-do-patient of consumptive tendency has been a small but regular annuity to his medical man. The prospect, then, of a radical cure Co3ting only three halfpence a dose is, from the professional point of view, little less then alarming. Jenner — adoctor himself — robbed the doctors of smallpox, and now another doctor talks of depriving his brethren of consumption. If this sort of thing goes on the profession will have to invent a few new diseases in sheer self-defence

Discoveries are discoveries and germs are germs, but doctors must live as well as their patients. The germ theory oi disease seems to be of universal application. Every ill that flesh is heir to is being gradually traced to some disreputable little beast of a bacillus or microbe, and you cure your patient by introducing another little beast of a phagocyst, whose character and habits are in themselves quite as objectionable, but who possesses the one merit of a standing feud with the baoillus. The two meet in your inside and proceed to devour one another with unexamoled

ferocity, after the manner of the Kilkenny cats, whereby you get rid of both, and so recover.

Hour by hour the fight goeß on, Till the silent battle's won ; Vainly do Baoilli ahirk When their deadly foe's at work ; Every microbe fainta with fright At the fearsome Phagocyte, What happens if they don't devour one another science has not yet discovered. It's a case of the rabbits and the stoats over again. What will the stoats do when they have exterminated the rabbits? Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, says the runholder — first get rid of the rabbits. And so say the patients. Get rid of consumption, and we'll chance what the phagocysts can do.

Baron Oscar Dickson, a rich Norwegian, has long been offering a contribution of £5000 towards the expenses of an expedition to the South Pole. Another £5000 is wanted, but so far nobody has been found willing to subscribe it. The British Government, when asked, refused plump ; the Australian Governments, though professing sympathy, have not yet planked the cash, possibly never will. In fact, there does not seem to be any enthusiasm about the South , Pole. The mention of it has been received with decided coolness. Nobody except I Baron Oscar Dickson particularly desires to go there, and the general opinion would appear to be that the Baron, if he does go, should go entirely at his own expense. This is matter for regret. Says a Melbourne editor, moralising on the extreme variability of the Australian climate : "It may well prove that the secret of why, within the space of 24 hours, we are alternately frizzled and frozen in this best of all possible climates, lies locked up in those great mountaius of the Antarctic Victoria Land, with their mile-thick walls of ice and their magnificent volcanoes." And then he goes on to show that, as " knowledge must of necessity piecede cure," it is the duty of everybody who dislikes being alternately frozen and frizzled to subscribe towards the expenses of Baron Dickson's expedition. That is an argumenc that should have weight with us in New Zealand. The mobility of our climate — everything by starts, and nothing long — is a proverb. The notion that its vices are curable has never till now, so far as lam aware, been suggested. We have accepted the mad mutations of the weather as we have accepted the irrepressibility of Mr Fish, in each case feeling ourselves to be in the presence of a mysterious, uncomfortable work of Providence, past explanation and incapable of cure. In both cases, it may be, we aie mistaken. Anyhow, I am prepared to offer a moderate subsidy, not exceeding, say, half a crown, towards any welldevised schema for the suppression of either. If it were possible to deport Mr Fish to the South Pole, and then to blow up the South Pole with dynamite, we might be delivered from both evils at once. Civis.

As some misconception exists with reference to the hours of polling for the general election to-morrow, it may be pointed out that for Dunedin City, Dunedin Suburbs, and the Peninsula the hours are from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. For Port Chalmers, Waitaki, Taieri, Bruce, Taapeka, and country electorates, the poll closes at 6 p.m., or one hour earlier.

A young man named John Blelrose, son of a resident at Mosgiel, was thrown on Monday morning from a horse he was riding, and fell on his head with great violence. The Taieri Advocate states that up till late on Tuesday evening he had not regained consciousness.

Tbe Zealandia having been withdrawn from the San Francisco service, her place is to be taken by the Monowai.

A stsck of sheaf oats belonging to Mr Alfred Whitely, farmer, residing at Nenthorn, was destroyed by fire late on the 30th ult. The stack was insured in the Equitable Office for £100, which is said to be its full value. The cause of the fire is supposed to be purely accidental

Messrs Wirth Bros.' Wild West Show and Circus Company brought their season ia Duned'n to a close on Tuesday evening, when there was an excellent attendance. Every item on the long and interesting programme was gone through in the usual spirited manner, and the hearty applause with which the performers were greeted from time to time proved that their efforts were appreciated. The company appear in Gore and Invercargill, and then proceed by special steamer to Adelaide. Yesterday Mr Alexander handed over to the Hospital Trustees, on behalf of Messrs Wirth Bros , a cheque for £10, to show their appreciation of the support accorded them in Dunedin.

The Albany street School Penny Savings Bank last week recorded 73 transactions, representing £3 3s 7d.

Shiels' flax mill at Josephville, near Lumsden, was destroyed by fire on Monday. Thore wa9 no insurance, and the owner loses about £300 by the unfortunate occurrence, which was purely accidental.

The successful tenderer for the erection of the new Catholic church, Lawrence, is Mr D. W; Woods, Dunedin, and the amount £1754 10», tho highest being that of Mr Moody (£1787 19 a). The formal laying of the foundation stone will not take place till St. Patrick's Day.