ODDS AND ENDS.

Otago Witness, Issue 1683, 23 February 1884, Page 29

ODDS AND ENDS.

—A Boston commercial traveller was paralyzed when a ynnir lady asked him, "When are you going pediM.nsr again?" . , " ttouou on kats."— Cleare out rats, mice, roachea flies, ants, bed-bugs, beetles, insects, skunks, jackrabbits, gophers. Druggists : Moses MoiS ana OJ Sydiiev, General Agents.— (Abvt.) _„.... , — " Guilty or not jtuilty f 'a^oi a Dutch justice of apii-onor. '• Not guilty." " Den what do you want hers ? Go about your vizness." That furred tongue, bad tasting mouth, ana miserable feeling , say jou need Hop B tiers. Head aud believe. , .... ~"O no, I don't ad verfczso," said Squigg-ins ; "the mau next door to mo iJ a big aovertiter, and a Rood many peopie see my sto> c ay lluy pass to go into his.' That Husband of bhxrs is tbrea times the man he was before ho began uuivg " Wells' Health Ec mswbr." DriKgista: Mosfca Moss and Co., sydney, General Agents — iAdvt.J The New YorU dude now wears on his arm a biaceiet faafcened by a padlock, to which hia gM eames the key. When ehe gives the key bacic it «jf!\Dß that " tee liHle affair " is off, you know. "Buchu-Paiha." — Quick, complete cure, all-annoi-ing kidney, bladder, and utinary diseases. Druggists : Moses M^sa and Co., Sydney, General Agents. (Advt.) — 1 here i 3 nothing like bei-g confidential with one's own wife. A Pennyslvania man having $10,000 a> d being afrai'l of burglars, put it in a fatovo oveu, but forgot to tell hia wife. It ruined him. Little boy, Two limbs break, Chestnut treo, Boy 'a lie >d swims ; Scrambles up, Down he falls ; Full of gins. Breatca two limbs. Young in his "Night's Thoughts" says, "Tired Nature's sweet restorer, balmy a-leei'," ami it is only those that, compelled to rem>iu awake uight after nijjht by racking pains, such as are enduied by thousands who, afflicted with the eurae of rhtumatism, can appreciate horn the ianernioib cjre of their hearts the above words; but the remedy is now with you— no more pain, no more sleepless nights. Kitchens' Uloob Kestorer, which has effected so mauy cures, is now obtainable from all chemists and respectable storekeepers in New Zealand. Ask for testimonials.— - Niisson says Patti's voice holds out remarkably well for a woman of her age. Patti only hopes she may be able to sing as well as Nils-ion wh'en she is as old. Gerster remembers iho pleasure both those singers gave her when she was a little girl. AT LAST, Tboy left the paraon at tho gate, Two happy tsoule, I ween — No more he'd burn her fathot's coal And waste the keroseno ! And forth they journeyed, hand in handLife's nun was newly risen ; His brawny hand wa3 held in hern, And hern was held in hiaen. Shirley. " Gersun Syrup." No other medicine in the world was ever given such a test of its curative qualities as Bo3'jhee's German Syrup. In three years two million four hundred thousand small bottles of this medicine woio distributed free of charge by Druggists in the United states of America to those afflicted with Consumption, Asthma, Croup, severe Coughs, Pneuraouia and other diseases of the throat and lungs, giving the affliCDed undeniable proof that German Syruo will cure them. The result has been- that druggists in every town and village in. civilised countries are recommending it to tbeir customers. Go to your druggist and ask what they I now about it. Sample bottles, Od. Kogularsize, 3s 6d. Three doses will relieve any case, —Grocery who has lately joined the militia, practising in his shop : " Right, left, right, left. Four paceß tb the rear ; march ! ' — falls down trap-door into the cellar. Grocer's wife fanxiously) : " Oh, Jim, are you hurt?" Grocer (.-avagely, but with dignity): "Go away, -«oman ; what do you know about war?" Shady soot, Doctor comes Little boy, Rather gruff, Watermelon — Doses boy witi t h Smile of joy. Nasty stuff. Summer night, Night has flown, After frolic, Colic's o'er— Boy is doubled Where's tho melon ? Up with colic. Boy wants more. —The Judge. Advice to Mothers '—Are you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting toeth ? Go at once to a chemist aod get a bottle of Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup. It ,will relieve the poor sufferer immediatel/. It is perfectly harmless and pleasant to the taste, it produces natural quiet sleep, by relieving tho child from pain, and the little cherub awakes "as bright as a button." It soothes | the child, it softens the gums, allays all rain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhea*, whether aiising from teething or other causes. Mrs Winslow's feoothing Syrup is sold i>y Medicine dealers everywhere at Is ljd per bottle. Wholesale by the Anglo-American Drug Company (Limited), 33 Farringdon Road, London.—[Advt.] —A boy waß asked which was the greatest evil, hurting another's feelings or his fingers. •' The feolings," he Baid. "Right, my dear child," said the» gratified priest; "and why is it worse to hurt the feelimrs ?" " Because you can't tie a rag round them," exe'aimed the child.

t

a