THE DROLL SIDE OF DUELLING.

Otago Witness, Issue 1652, 21 July 1883, Page 26

THE DROLL SIDE OF DUELLING.

There are few things, however serious, that have not their comic side, if one cares to look for it. The barbarous practice of duelling, fraught with tragedy though it may be, is one example of a barbarous custom having its humorous side, as without further preamble we will proceed to show. The old story of the Irishman who called a man out for expressing disbelief in his having seen anchovies growing on a tree, and when his opponent lay wounded on the ground, repentantly owned to suddenly remembering it was capers he meant, may be an invention, but duels have been fought for equally trivial reasons. Ono of the members of Louis XVIII. 's body guard fought three times in one day ; first with a gentleman who had offended by looking askew at him ; next, with one who had looked him hard in the face ; and thirdly with a stranger who had passed by without deigning to look at him at all.

Men disinclined to make targets of themselves in obedience to a conventional code of honour, have often got out of the difficulty by availing themselves of the right accorded to the challenged to choose the weapons. A Missouri backwoodsman daunted his antagonist by insisting upon a combat with raw hides, limited to half an hour's duration. An old whaling captain declared he would fight with harpoons or not at all, an alternative declined by his adversary. A French journalist fonder of fun than of fighting, on being challenged, accepted the cartel with "Of course I claim the choice of weapons. You wish to kill me ; I will do my best to kill you. Good. I have in my house twenty loaves of siege-bread, which I have kept for souvenirs. We will sit down and eat against each other. One of us is sure to die." Knowing by experience the nature of siegebread, the challenger did not care to run the risk in solved in such a contest, and like a sensible fellow, laughed, and shook hands. Equally satisfactory in its result was the very wise method adopted by two Americans, who, having fallen in love with one lady, found it necessary to settle by force of arms which should retire from the field. Having no desire to hurt one another they calculated the matter could be decided by proving which was the better shot, by each trying his skill at a tree. The worst marksman acknowledged that if they had confronted each other in the approved way he would have been annihilated, and left his rival to win the lady unopposed. In another duel without danger, only one of the parties concerned was aware of the innocent character of the encounter. This was General Putnam, who, being challenged by a young officer, proposed that each should sit upon a powder-keg, with a lighted fuse in the bung. As he would hear of no other terms, the General had his way. At the appointed timo the belligerents took their seats ; the fuses were ignited. The veteran watched the progress of the flame — as well he might — with unmoved countenance. Not so his opponent ; he took intense interest in the fastlessening match, and when the flame got suggestively near the bung-hole, showed his possession of the better part of valour by jumping off the keg and making for the open, till arrested by Putnam roaring out : "Hold on, my boy ; it's only onion-seed !" With commendable discretion did some fun-loving rascals act when called upon to assist a couple of coloured gentlemen, of Monticello, Mobile, who, agreeing to differ, determined to settle their differences whiteman's fashion. In a very # few minutes arrangements were made for bringing the affair off in the orthodox way. The seconds and surgeons stood in a grove hard by, and rifles loaded with blank cartridge were placed in the hands of the bellicose pair. They presented a curious contrast, one being as cool as the proverbial cucumber, while the other was nervous and excited — a veritable black Bob Acres. When his eye caught the gleam of the rifle barrel he exclaimed, "Look here, gemraen, dis 'ore gun's too bright for me," and tried to leave his ground, till brought to a sense of his position by an intimation from his second that if he attempted to &tir he would shoot him down. Dropping his gun, the frightened fellow seized his second by the waist and placed him between himself and the levelled weapon of the foe. The barricade quickly removed itself, and then the negro fled from the scene at racing' speed, followed by shouts of deri&ion from the amused onlookers. When Egan and Currau met to decide their quarrel with the pistol's aid, the former complained that he might as well fire at a razor's edge as at his adversary's thin body, while he himself offered as fair a mark as a turf -sack ; whereupon his readywitted foe declared he had no desire to take any undue advantage, and was willing to let his size be chalked out on Mr Egan's side, and agree that every shot outside the mark would go for nothing. When General Shields challenged Abraham Lincoln, on account of a letter in a newspaper reflecting on the General, which Lincoln had avowed to save the real writer from thn consequences, the latter having the choice of weapons, elected to fight with the broad sword. Not that he was skilled in its use, but because he had such a tremendous length of arm, combined with great muscular power, that he calculated upon being able to chop off his adversary's head before he could treat him to a scientific thrust. Lincoln was first on the ground, and when Shields arrived was hard at work with a hatchet clearing away the bushes. It was decided to sink a plank perpendicularly in the ground, leaving four foot of it protruding from the earth— the combatants to fight up to bub not beyond it. Shields examine;! the

swords, and then looked doubtingly at Lincoln's arm.. Noting the look, Colonel Hartin told the pair not to make fools of themselves ; and like wise men, they concluded they would not ; but played a game of " old sledge "to decide who should pay the expenses of the trip, a pleasure that fell to Shields. Two Western editors once made fools of themselves to an unlimited extent. It came about through the editor of the Athens Democrat declaring in a leader that the caitiff editor of the Athens Whig was a bigamist ; and that gentleman resenting the calumny by pulling the libeller's nose in the public street. The mayor kindly undertook to arrange for the difficulty being settled in a proper way ; and the two editors were soon ensconced, rifle in hand, behind two trees in a wood. For two mortal hours they dodged and peeped, neither caring to fire, lest by missing he should leave himself at his enemy's mercy. Then the rain came down, and the Whig's editor discovered it had saturated his powder. "Is your powder wet?" shouted he to his rival. " No," answered the other "Mine's beautifully dry," continued he of the Whig. But his adversary guessing how matters were came boldly out of cover, with his weapon ready to come to the " present." "Stop!" cried the appalled man — "stop! Let's have a parley i You are a darned good fellow ; suppose instead of shooting me, we go into partnership 7" " All right," replied the Democrat ; and they returned home together. Of course the editor of the Whig had to set himself right with his subscribers, which he did by telling them his gun was wet and wouldn't go off. To which the new partner responded in his paper with, "No more wouldn't mine." Mortified as he was at having " caved in " when there was no occasion, the Whig man congratulated himself that at any rate the affair of his first marriage would be hushed up ; but curious to ascertain how the other came to know anything about it, he asked him, " How did you know that I had another wife living besides Mary Jaue ?" " Oh, you have, have you ?" was the astonished answer ; while the disgusted selfbetrayer muttered between his teeth, <f Fool, fool ! to forget he was an editor, and judge him only as a common man !" The Athenian journalist would have had no cause to abuse himself, had he displayed tho forethought of the French critic SaintBeuve, who having to meet M. Dubois on a wet morning, appeared on the ground carrying in one hand a sixteenth-century flint-lock pistol, and in the other a nineteenth-century umbrella, which he unfurled as he took up his position. M. Dubois, backed by both seconds, protested against the umbrella, but to no purpose. Saint-Beuve said he had no objection to being killed, but decidedly objected to getting wet through ; so they let him have his way, and the duel went on, till each combatant had fired four shots without damaging anybody, and all parties were satisfied, especially Saint- Beuve, who marched off without a hole either in his body or his umbrella.—Chambers' Journal.