AT THE ALTAR.

Otago Witness, Issue 1583, 25 March 1882, Page 27

AT THE ALTAR.

What can be more awkward and embarrassing than a hitch at the hymeneal altar? There aro few occasions in life when we are more' anxious that everything should pass off smoothly and auspiciously ; yet, with that perversity which Fate so often exhibits with us, the marriage ceremony is one than which few, if any, seem more peculiarly liable to hitches of the most unexpected and mortifying character. We have all observed this, and some know it from painful experience. The slightest misunderstanding or forgetfulness may involve serious inconvenience and annoyance. For most hitches of this kind the principal actors in the scene— the bridegroom, bride, 'bestman,' or bridesmaids, or it may be clergyman, are responsible in some way or other; but interruptions occasionally arise from_ circumstances over which none of the parties could have exercised any control. We have happily outli ved those ' good old times' in which it was the proper thing for the rejected lover to break in upon the wedding-party with a band of armed men, slay the bridegroom, and carry off the unfortunate bride ; but even in the present day the evil genius of matrimonial candidates sometimes contrives to bring about equally vexatious, if less tragic interruptions. The question ,how near a couple can come to being married without actually becoming husband and wife, was answered in a very extra ordinary case reported not long ago fromLyon, in France. All the preliminaries, including the marriage contract I—the,1 — the , bride being an I heiress — had been arranged with the utmost harmony, and the day had arrived for the civil marriage— which, under the law of the Republic, is the binding one— in the morning, and f or the.blessing of the priest at the' cathedral altar iii the afternoon. The parties were before the Mayor, and what a Chicago lawyer, addressing a divorce jury, called ' the fatal question,' had been asked of each and duly answered; whereupon the Mayor had tendered his personal as well as official congratulations, and placed before them the attesting document, which, when signed, made them lawfully man and wife. At this critical moment, the proceedings were interrupted by the entrance of a telegraphic messenger. The couple paused, pens in hand ; the witnesses stared in surprise ; and the Mayor dropped his spectacles in a nervous fit as he handed the message ,to the bride's father. The telegram ran as follows : ' Monsieur [the bridegroom] has already been married in Germany, and his wife lives. Vouchers are on the way to you by post.' The Mayor, as he is bound to' do under the Civil Code when a warning comes, postponed the authentication for a week. The week passed, but no vouchers came ; Everybody agreed the telegram was a malicious trick, perpetrated by some revengeful rival — everybody excepting the bride, who had been brooding over the telegram, and, to the surprise of every one, believed it. She sent baok the diamond ring, the silver candlestick, the gold-mounted pric-dieu, the breviary of the lady who was almost her mother-in-law, and annulled the settlement. The Jugede Paie of Lyon and the Mayor had a consultation with the lawyers and the notary ; and it was unanimously agreed that the couple, as the English peasantry jput it, were still a couple, and not a pair. All inquiries instituted by the bridegroom with regard to the sender of the telegram proved fruitless ; the only information ever obtainedbeing that it was paid for by a ' veiled woman in black.'

A still more recent hitch at the altar occurred at a fashionable English watering : place. A large party had assembled in one of the churches there to witness the nuptials of a niece of a prominent citizen, .when it was discovered at the last moment that the Registrar, who had the license in his pocket, had not arrived. At the suggestion of the officiating clergyman, the ceremony was delayed for a short time, while one of the party went in search of the errant Registrar. His office was the first place visited, but he had gone out, and nothing was known of his whereabouts. Thence the messenger repaired in hot haste to his residence, which happened to be some distance out of town ; and meanwhile, the party at the chapel becoming impatient, other scouts were despatched in various directions. At length it was ascertained that' the 'worthy Registrar had left town by an early train, and it was impossible that he could return in time, the wedding had to be postponed till the following day. The hitch, it appeared, had occurred through the Registrar having received no intimation of the intended marriage. The absence of an official at the critical moment is not such a serious matter as the nonappearance of one of the contracting parties— a contretemps which has often occurred in real life as well as in fiction* Though hitches of this kind have freqxiently arisen through the inconstancy of either of the principals, they have also been brought about by othor causes, as, for example, by stress of weather. One morning, in the depth of last winter, a young lady reached Inverness from the south, in one of the morning trains, intending to proceed to Wick in the 9.40 a.m. train. During the night, however, there had been a heavy snowfall, and it was found that the lino to Wick was blocked. On being told that sho could not proceed, the young lady appeared greatly disconcerted, and immediately inquired for tho station-master. 'Is there no possibility of getting to Wick to-night ¥ sho asked. ' None,' was tljo answor, 'N't by coach ?' ' No ; not even by coach.' 'Nor by boat?' 'No; nor by boat.' ' Not by'- — 'No;it is impossible ; you cannot get there this week.' ' Well,' said the lady, ' this in awkward.' ' I'm sorry,' said tho official. 'Will you be greatly inconvenienced?' ' Inconvenionned ! yes. I was to have been married in Wick to-night.' Ficldeness, on tho part of both grooms and brides, has boon ft irmtful source of hitchos at the altar. There is a, story told of a rustic swain who, when asked whether he would take hia partner to be his wedded wife, replied, with shameful indecision : ' Yes, I'm willin' ; but I'd a much sight rather have her sister,'— An equally remarkable instance, which must be authentic, is narrated by a Bathgate minister. In this case, & hitch had ooourred at the out'

set, through the absence of witnesses, and the bride had surmounted the difficulty by going for two friends, one of them being her cousin, a blooming lass, somewhat younger than herself. When, at length, the parties had been properly arranged, and the minister was about to proceed with the ceremony, the bridegroom ! suddenly said : ' Wad ye bide a wee, sir?' ' Oh, j what is it now ?' asked the exasperated clergyman. 'Weel,' replied the vacillating groom, ' I was just gaun to say that if it wad be tho same to you, I wad rather hae that ane' — pointing to the bridesmaid. ' A most extraordinary statement to make at this stage ; I'm afraid it's too late to talk of such a thing now. 1 'Is it ?' returned the bridegroom, in a tone of calm resignation to the inevitable. ' Weel, then, sir, ye maun just gang on.' The possibility of a hitch arising from a sudden change of inclination on the part of principals, is ludicrously illustrated by the case of two couples who on one occasion presented themselves at the Mayoralty in a suburb of Paris, to carry out the civil portion of their marriage contract. During the ceremony, one of the bridegrooms saw, or fancied he saw, his partner making * sheep's-eyes'at the bridegroom opposite. Being of a jealous temperament, he laid his hand roughly on her arm, and said sharply : ' Madomoiselle, which of the two brides are you ? You are mine, I believe ; then oblige me by confining your glances to me.' The bride was a young woman of spirit, and resenting the tone in which the reprimand was made, retorted : ' Ah, Monsieur, if you are jealous already, I am likely to lead a pleasant life with you !' The jealous bridegroom made an angry reply ; and then t the other bridegroom must needs put his oarHn. This led to a general dispute, which the Mayor endeavoured to quell. The bridegrooms stormed at each other '; and the brides, between their hysterical sobs, mutually accused each other of perfidy. At length the Mayor, as a last resource, adjourned the ceremony for half an hour, to_ admit of an amicable understanding being arrived at, both brides having refused to proceed with the celebration of the nuptials. When, at the expiration of the half-hour, the parties were summoned to reappear, they did so, to the amazement of the bewildered Mayor, in an altogether different order from that in which they had originally entered. The bridegrooms had literally effected an exchange of brides — the jealous groom taking the jealous bride i and the other, the lady whose fickle glances had | led to the rupture. All four adhering to the new arrangement, the Mayor,, it is recorded, had no alternative but to proceed with the ceremony. ■ The gentleman who so inopportunelydeclafed his preference for the sister of his bride, is only one of many who have made similarly eccentric replies to the all-important question. One hasty individual, , on being asked if he would take the lady by his side to be his wife, testily responded : 'In course I will ; that's what I came here for. '—A Chicago young lady, on being asked- the usual question, in which the words 'love, honour, and obey', occur, made the straightforward but somewhat v too conditional reply : ' Yes, 1 will, if he does what he promises me financially.'— On a recent occasion, an eccentric bridegroom, when interrogated in the usual fashion as to the acceptance of his bride, persisted in responding, to. the confusion and bewilderment of the officiating clergyman: 'Yes, for a fortnight ;' a declaration which was the occasion of ho little trouble and perplexity, though the difficulty was ultimately overcome.— Many hitches of this kind are the result of misapprehensions on the part of ignorant people with regard to the nature of the questions asked andthe obligations undertaken. v<ln these cases, the' adoption of some such brief and convenient formula as the following, which, though somewhat irreverent/ is said to have been employedin the celebration of a marriage in lowa, United States, would no doubt save a deal of trouble and annoyance to all concerned. The bride and bridegroom were told to join their right hands, and then asked : 'Do yon want one another?' Both replied : ' Yes. ' Well, then, have one another,' and the couple were man and wife. A certain famous African explorer was once the victim of one of thosa extremely distressing hitches which amount to the complete and final separation of thosewho would otherwise have been united for better or worse. He had fallen deeply in'love with a young Greek maiden whom he met in Crete. He 1 afterwards declared that never, before or since, had he be,held so sweet and beautiful a creature. Having sought but the American Consul, he revealed to him" the state of his heart. The Consul, who had himself married a Greek lady, bade him not despair, took him forthwith to the house of his inamorata, and presented him to her mother, who, was a widow. The negotiations were conducted successfully ; at the end of a i week he was an accepted lover ; and in a fortnight, the day for the wedding had arrived. All this while he had seen the lady once a day, always in the presence of her mother ; and on the day before the intended marriage he had been permitted for the first time to take her hand and to imprint upon it a 'chaste salute. The hour appointed for the wedding found the' bridegroom dressed for the ceremony and await-, ing the happy moment. There enter to him at this juncture three Greeks, whom he has never seen before, and an interpreter, who introduces them as brothers of thebride-elect. They produce a parchment, which • the interpreter explains. It is a deed of settlement, which binds the bridegroom to pay so much a year to the mother and each brother, and so much to his wife, and to disburse the first instalments on the spot. In vain the unlucky traveller explains that he is worth nothing:, and cannot pay. The brothers look daggers, the interpreter frowns ; and the scene closes with the arrival of the Consul, who with difficulty gets his protege out of the clutches of his importunate would-be relations, and ships him off to Athens. He never saw his beautiful Grecian maiden again.

Every one knows what a fund of of latent mischief lies c6ncealed in that little innocentlooking band of gold, the wedding-ring, how it will mysteriously disappear at the very moment it is wanted, and what excitement prevails, especially on the part of the wretched groom; when it cannot be found. If the ring is all right, a dozen other little accidents may happen to delay or stop the ceremony. It is not often, happily, that a bridegroom so far forgots what is due toi himself and his bride as to render himself unfit to take the vows through too frequent recourse on the wedding morn to tho ■ cup that ohcers— -and inebriates. On one occasion, an intending Benedict appeared in such a bomuddled condition that the clergymen was obliged to refuse to proceed with tho marriage. A few days lator, tho same thing occurred with tho same oouplo ; whereupon the clergyman gravely remonstrated with tho brido, and said they must not again present themselves with the bridegroom in such a state. ' But, sir, he— he wimuv cone when he's sober,' was the candid rejoinder. Wo will conclude with a case in which a somewhat serious obstacle to tho celebration of a marriage was removed at tho oloventh hour by the intervention of a beneficent flash of clerical jealousy. In a western Scottish town one evening, there were so many marriages, that an unfortunate couple who. had arranged to be united at the minister's house, were unable to procure a cab to convey them thither till long past the hour appointed ; and

when at last they stood at the door of the manse and rang the bell, it was approaching midnight. A loud and somewhat indignant voice presently responded from a bedroom window upstairs, demanding to know who was there. The situation was briefly explained ; but the voice— that of the Rev. Mr W , minister of the first charge of the Abbey Church — proved inexorable. * I can't help it,' was the ultimatum received; 'you must just go home and come back to-morrow. ' Oh, Mr W ,ye ken we canna gang hame without bein' married,' struck in a female yoice..7r'But what would you have me do? .Call up the whole house because of your bungling ?'-j- ' Could yo no dae't ower the window, sir ?'-»- ' Nonsense, it is impossible.' — ' Oh, ye micht, sir ; ye ken we attend the Abbey on your day, and no on Mr B 's.'— This final stroke of policy proved irresistiblo, for between Mr W — - and Mr B , minister of the second charge of the same church, there subsisted a good deal, of professional jealousy. The window was put down, the gas lighted, the door opened, and the marriage of the triumphant diplomatists duly solemnised. — .Chambers' i Journal. ; , . ,f