Fun and Fancy.

Otago Witness, Issue 1582, 18 March 1882, Page 24

Fun and Fancy.

Entirely Unintentional. - Fair umpire at lawn tennis: Only keep your head, Mr Jones, and you are sure to have a soft thing. ' Mr child, what is an erring man?' said a At a Masquerade.—' Was it the loud beatintr of my heart, my darling, that told you I was near?' murmured he. 'Oh, no,' she replied. I recognised your crooked legs. ' Post Office Clerk: 'Here! your letter ia overweight. 1 Pat: 'Over what weight?'- £•> 4> J-ts too heavy; put another stamp on it. ~P. : Och, git out wid yer foolin' ! Sure I ;.i,i )ut another Bfcam P on won't it be heavier SuIXX {

Imp»rt l al.--NBw Curate (who wishes to know all about his parishioners) : « Then do I understand you that your aunt is on your father's side or on your mother's?' Country Lad • Zometimes on one an' zometimes on the other! cepting when father whacks 'em both, sir ' A Frenchman learning the English language complained of the irregularity of the verY to go, the present tense of which some wag had written out for him as follows: 'I go; thou startast; he departs; we lay tracks; you cut sticks ; thou absquatulate or skedaddle.' l«A SS K a ! °ii W i fch va ?" e notions of knowledge, but a settled conviction that he was pergonally tp blame for most things, that happened, there being not even a cat in his home to share responsibJities with him, was sent most uS willingly to school. In due course it came to his turn to answer questions. The master, a stern-looking man, with a voice rendered harsh and grating by perpetual fault-finding and scolding, ooked straight at him and thundered forth-' Now, sir, new boy, who made thw world?' No answer coming from Me startled lad, the question was repeated with still more emphasis. Still no reply from the new-comer, who trembled visibly on his seat, lhe master, losing all patience, brought his rule down with thundering violence, and shouted once more— 'Will you tell me, sir, who made the world ?' It was too much ; with deadly conviction of his own enormities, the boy sobbed out; 'Please, sir, I did; but '11 never do it again !' '