Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1500, 14 August 1880, Page 17

Passing Notes.

I mourn over the departure of our Governor. We have for a brief— a too brief — period enjoyed living under the mild and intelligent sway of a man "asißa man." I have only come into personal contact with Sir Herculea on two or three occasions, but have found reason to regard him as an eminently straightforward English (or Irish) gentleman. I have heard it remarked that when an Irishman is a gentleman he can't be beat. Sir Hercules has the courage of his own opinions, has taken a line of his own, both here and in Hew South Wales, and lived down opposition. Of course, there are some who do not like his racing proclivities, but even from the "unco quid " Sir Hercules has met surprisingly little ill will, and he ha 3 certainly done his best to elevate the tone of the patrons of the noble sport. Though he loves races, he reveres the Bible, and has advocated its introduction into our publio schools, herein touching the prejudice of another section of the community who axe not "unco quid." He has held the reins and driven the stage coach with dignity and safety while Sir George Grey was doing his best to upset it, and his view of the Constitutional duties of a Governor has been sustained by the authority of Todcl, who in his late work condemns Sir George and approves Sir Hercules. The Oamaru Mail correspondent, I see, gravely asserts that the reason of the present removal ia that Sir Hercules gave his assent to the Maori Prisoners' Detention Bill, which Sir George Grey has denounced as an unconstitutional measure. If so, not only has the kick beeH very promptly administered, but it is a kick wp stairs : for I observe the emoluments of the Cape appointments are £10,000 a year as Governor, besides £3000 a year as High Commissioner, and here the pay is only £7500. There are signs that our next Governor will not get so much by £2500 a year, aa the question is being raised inside aud outside of Parliament. The equation which will have to be worked out will be, "If a Sir Hercules Robinson is worth £7500 a year, how much is a Sir Arthur Gordon worth ?" As the latter has had a good deal to do with "niggera" of various types, he is understood to be not the man to deal with democratic white men. If Sir George Grey only gets a chance he will entangle Sir Arthur in some controversy or other, and we shall then see the mettle of the man ; but from what I hear of him I think the reputation of his predecessor will not suffer by a comparison of the two men ; for of that predecessor in his gubernatorial capacity I must say, though I believe the remark has been made before — He was a man ; take him for all in all, "Wo shall not look upon his like agaiii The roiti worn out becomes devot ; the superannuated flirfc sets up as a prude. A metamorphosis of this nature explains the extraordinary tirade against horse-racing with which Sir Wm. Fox entertained the House the other night. I haven't the least desire to disparage or ridicule any honeat attempt to expose the vices of the Turf, whether in the Legislature or elsewhere. Any moralist who undertakes that task will have what a Puritan preacher

would have called a "mattery" subject. Though he draw his bow at a venture he will scarcely fail to hit a blot — to plump an arrow into some festering iniquity or hideousrottenness, claiming toleration and perpetuation because aasociated with the "grand old British Bport." But don't imagine by any means that this is Sir William Fox'b line of things. It is not as a moralist that he denounces horseracing—he hasn't depth of conviction enough for that. His asceticism is rather that of the exhausted profligate who would forbid cakes and ale to other people because his own palate has lost the taste for them. Sir William told the House that there was no real pleasure in horse-racing. Returning home after witnessing a day's sport, "the husbands were sullen, their wives tired, and the children cross and crying." Too true, only the same observation might apply to the return from a temperance pic-nic. Having proved that horse -racing afforded no real pleasure, Sir William proceeded to show that it was not really a popular sport. "A lot of counter-jumpers and boys and girls went to see a lot of wizened boys ride a mile"— that was the extent to which racing interested the public, an account of the matter which equally illustrates the elegance of Sir Wm. Fox's rhetoric and the accuracy of his powers of observation. Further, he objected to horseracing because it was ruining the breed of horses. They could get nothing now but " weedy animals, such as were described by Shakespeare as ' hollow pampered jades of Asia' that could hardly do their 30 miles a day." Such was the deleterious influence of horse racing upon the breed 'of horses ! This intelligent criticism on turf matters ended, Mr Levin got up to inform the House that the hon. member who had just sat down had in former years been a steward, and a prominent steward, of the Wellington Jockey Club, had even sported the silk himself, and sent horses of his own breeding to the. winning-post ! Just so ! Mr Levin supplied exactly the two or three little facts which in the moral fitness of things were required to give point to Sir William Fox's homily.' It is the old story. The mincing modesty and affected little of the withered prude, rightly read, are testimony to the youthful indiscretions of the flirt.

"Weedy animals such as were described by Shakespeare as Hollow pampered jades of Asia." To be honoured according to its merit this remarkable sentence ought to have a Passing Note all to itself. Sir William Pox did no doubt find in Shakespeare the nonßense-line he quotes. And similarly he might find in the Burial Service the Epicurean sentiment "Let ua eat and drink, for to-morrow we die." Similarly, again, he might find in the recent report of the Inspector-General of Schools the startling statements that Milton discovered gravitation, and that the South Sea Bubble was a waterspout destructive to ships. To find is one thing, to know how to use what you find is another. In this case Sir Wm Fox is charmingly unconscious that the line he quotes is nonsense, and meant to be nonsense. He evidently thinks "hollow pampered jades of Asia " good Shakespearian poetry for a scrubby lot of horses. The words are really a piece of fustian spouted by Pistol, and are applied by that ancient swaggerer not to horses, or any other quadrupedal creatures, but to Dame Quickley and Miss Tearsheet. It is a pity *^ c InspectorGeneral cannot apply his Class B test to members of the House of Representatives. His reports next year would be lively reading- I should like to set a paper for Sir William Fox myself. His literary examination might proceed somewhat as follows :— 1, He could not ope His mouth but out there flew a trope. What kind of bird is the trope 1 Distinguish it from the Jabberwok. Why is it said to mourn for its young on the mountains of Hepsidan 1 2,. Analyse the moral sentiment in the following lines from Dr WaUs : "fis the voice of the lobster ; I heard him declare •You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.' As a duck with his eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes. A few more questions of the same sort would follow, and then, as a final test of Sir William's penetration, and on the principle of " one for his t nob," I would j close with this :—: — What eminent Temperance reformer and distinguished Colonial statesman, is Tennyson supposed to have intended by the "Father William" of the following lines: — "You are old, Father William," the young man said, " And your hair has become very white ; And yet you incessantly stand on your headDo you think, at your age, it is right ?" " In my youth," Father William replied to his son, " I feared it might injure the brain ; But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." The wit and humour of the House are about on a par with its Shakespearian erudition. When such a gay and festive subject comes up as the Deceased Wife's Sister's Marriage Bill — as happened immediately after the horse-racing discussion — the proceedings assume an elephantine sprightliness which irresistibly suggests the late lamented Titania's ponderous pirouetting in Bailey and Cooper's circus. Major Harris at once introduces the time-honoured jokes of moving the omission of the word " Deceased" from the title of the Bill, then the omission of the word "Sister's," finally, the substitution of the word "Grandmother" At this Stage the Premier interposes to protect the dignity of the Hows©, He really

cannot allow it to be put from the chair that a man should be allowed to marry his grandmother. By this time the Rev. Dr Wallis is ready. He supplies the variety of fun known as clerical— usually a very broad variety indeed. He informs the House that "he has done more marrying than any man in New Zealand" — an ambiguous boast which may mean either that the Rev Dr is a polygamist and Bluebeard, or that he has "hitched" more couples than other parsons — if the latter, the Sev. Dr Stuart would probably dispute the ipoint with him. Anyway, Dr Wallis " claimed to be an expert on this point." "Expert" may mean expeditious, which Scotch marrying parsons generally are. In Scotland, matrimonial bliss, it is said, can be attained persaltum —by merely hopping over the handle of a broom. The only equally expeditious method of entering the " holy estate" is that afforded by the simple formula of the American Western States' judge : "Grab hands. Hitched. Five dollars. Now go, you niggahs !" Whether Dr Wallis can be as "expert" as this he didn't say. What he did say was that though a man shouldn't be allowed to marry his wife's sister, he should be allowed to marry his niece ! His large experience convinced him that there was a great demand for nieces, and comparatively no demand at all for wife's sisters. He therefore begged to propose etc., etc. This clerical compromise having been " negatived on the voices," the House gave itself up to what may be called Parliamentary skylarking. The skylarking consisted in the mock-martyrdom' of the minority opposed to the Bill — 14 to 46 — and the too real martyrdom of the majority, who were compelled to listen to the stonewall orations of the obstructionists till 3 o'clock in the morning. The kind of practical jokery known as skylarking is always a sign of defective humour. Dogs skylark— play practical jokes with each other's ears and tails — monkeys and dullwitted men, ditto. Having at last grown tired of its horse-play, the House shut up for the night and went to its well-earned repose, Mr Murray remorsefully remarking that they had " done nothing for their money that day." True most sagacious Murray, but why specify that day in particular ? Why make invidious distinctions 1

It is not clear that the Kyebum murder will merit a place amongst the curiosities or monstrosities of crime. Probably the motive was plunder, which fact would reclaim the deed, horrible though it is, to the category of crimes human and intelligible. But the mystery at present hanging round it naturally brings to mind that other deed, more horrible still, and remaining yet unexplained and unavenged. Every day that has passed since the Butler trial without bringing to light any new suggestion or starting any fresh trail, has madejit more certain that Butler murdered the Dewars. The public universally may be said to have settled down to that conviction. One may be content that the murderer should escap6 the rope if it is not possible to fit the rope to his neck by due process of law. But, for my part, I can't feel content that he should keep his secret. In committing this inhuman crime Butler has proposed to the public intelligence a perfectly insoluble problem. Why did he commit it 1 One can't help feeling interested in this question apart altogether from considerations of pity for the victims or punishment for the criminal. It is a question which liaa a scientific interest. Is Butler a man like other men, or is he a new and monstrous variety of the human animal — a ghoul or were-wolf 1 Some day surely the wretch will speak and tell us. "When he has no new harm to fear from us he will clear up the secret of that chamber of horrors, and expound the impulse which moved him to the deed. I should hope so, at any rate, not in the spirit of morbid curiosity, but from an honest wish to see cleared up a perplexing problem in psychology. The only clue to its elucidation is afforded by the fact that some men seem able to extirpate from their nature all moral sense and sensibility. There are men who could not crush a worm without a shuddering paroxysm of sympathy ; there are others apparently who would cut down a life with as little feeling as if they were whipping off a poppy- head with a cane. Wainewright, who in the last generation committed at least four cold-blooded murders, was asked why in particular he had taken the life of a poor innocent girl who waß his ward. " Upon my soul," he replied, " I don't know, unless it was because she had such thick legs !" Wainewright possessed a cultivated mind, was the intimate friend of Charles Lamb, and produced a volume of "Essays and Criticisms " which has just been republished. He had all the parts, passions, qualities of humanity, except what may be called a moral sense, and he took a life as calmly as he would have plucked a flower. Such monsters should be hung — promptly — when identified ; if they cannot be hung they should be studied. I should be sorry to think we have heard the last of Butler.

Why are the butchers so suddenly active in their desire to display and to advertise their joints and their carcases 1 Not only are the columns of the papers full of their rival announcements, but the shops are dressed out as they are at Christmas, and this is net Christmas-tide or holiday -tide of any kind. In their advertisements, each one strives to have some specialty ; one relies upon his German sausages, another has never been in Germany and knows nothing about sausages, but stakes his all on his prime

beef and mutton ; a third informs the public that his meat is not only meat but " Taieri fed," which I suppose indicates the very acme of perfection in point of quality ; a fourth makes a leading feature of hams and bacon, and a fifth says he is the onlyman who supplies " Kosher" meat ; i.e. meat specially killed for the Jews ; while one has the taliamanic words "reduced prices." Butbesidesthe displays in the shops, we have magnificent'bullocka, all unconscious of their impending fate, walked up and down the streets, adorned with ribbons and made a sacrificial show of before they are doomed to the slaughter. Then to throw a little additional light on the matter we have the electric candle kept going by a steam engine now and then. How is it we saw nothing of all this anxiety to attract and serve the public till within the last week or two '? It is all explained by one word — competition. Another shop has started, and threatens the business of all the rest. Messrs Shand and Worth, having a whole herd of fat cattle, and flocks of sheep, and hecatombs of pigs behind them at the Taieri, want to force .their meat dovm the throats of a shy and conservative public. They are prepared to gorge us with flesh meat of all kinds on the shortest notice and the most favourable terms, and the other "fleshers," as 1 believe the Scotch call them, are trembling for their profits. Well, I am sorry for the "fleshers," but I believe in reasonable competition. It brings about what Adam Smith calls the "higgling of the market," and docks off those halfpennies per pound that all tell up on the materfamilias monthly bill. I fancy the public verdict will be "the more the merrier," and I don't suppose prices have yet reached the ultimate margin of profit on which it is possible for the seller to live. On the principle that — Who drives fat cattle should himself be fat, it would be sad indeed if the purveyors of so much good meat themselves should starve. lam really anxious about them lest they should overdo it and begin to sell too cheap. They are most of them fat enough to stand a little depletion, but I don't want them reduced to Sydney Smith's condition, when to avoid the heat he had "to take off his flesh and sit in his bones." Civis.