THE MAN WHO SAW THE PRESI. DENT ABOUT A SCHOOL-HOUSE.

Otago Witness, Issue 1480, 27 March 1880, Page 27

THE MAN WHO SAW THE PRESI. DENT ABOUT A SCHOOL-HOUSE.

Thursday afternoon there was one man in the crowd round the City Hall who said he must have a personal interview with the President if it broke hia suspenders. He had como twenty -eight miles in a lumber waggon on purpose to see the " old man " and have him settle a neighbourhood dispute regarding the location of a Kchool-houso. "You ee-J," he explained, to au interesting knot of listeners, "the Thomas crowd are bound and determined to locate the school-house down there by the Widder Hull's, which iB the worst plaoe on the hall road, while the res'; of us want it up on the Jaokson Hill, which is airy and salubrious, and handy to two creeks and a mill-pond. The Thomas crowd are cracking their heels 'juatnow, and thoy think they've got the bulge on us, bue I rather think if the President of the great United Statta decides in tavour of the hill the school-house will bo plauted there. It's a little dodge of mine to see him. The Thomas crowd don't evea 1 suspect what I'm up to, and whea I reach home to night there'll be wailiDg and gnashing of teeth, and don't you recollect it !-" There were men in the oiowd < who sympathised with him and were willing to aid him in securing an inierviow. It took only about ttn minutes to so arrange matters that the school-house man was walked around bo the (southern entrance of tha Hall and introduced to ox- Coroner Cahill, who looks as near like Hayea as one pea resembles another. The "President" bowed, shook hands, and with a kindly smile, inquired : " Well, Mr Slamtuer, what .can I do for you ? Don'ti bo afraid to speak right out. I used to wear old olobhos aud carry a red nose myself, and I am. ready to sympathise i with you." ! Mr Slammer winced ah this potsan'al allusion which was responded to by a horselaugh from the Jittle crowd, bufc ho soon got his breath, and began : ''Well, you psrh&ps don't know the Thomas crowd ? " " Yes, I do — you fort I do ["responded the "President" "and thoy are a mighty good crowd of boys, too." "They are, eh?" slowly enquired Mr Slammer. " Why, I don't think ao." " I cau'fc help what you think," bluntly replied tha President, aa he cocked his hut on his ear. "I tell you the bojs are all right, and I'll bot on "era every time. You can't give mo no wind on that crowd — no, sir!" "Xhen— then you've heard abmt that sohool-house trouble, eh?" gasped Mr Slammer.

" Yes, I have ; and you've got to come right down off the roost 1 . That echool-house i« going to be builb down by tho Widow Hull's, and don't you forget it ! " " What ! down thar 1 in tha holler ? "

"Yeß sir— that's the place for it; can't get me to favour putting any school-house on your infernal old hill ! " " Wa-al, Mr President, ira sorry that—" "Sorry, be hanged!" interrupted the " Chief Magistrate," in a gruff voice. "What do I cp.re how eorry you are ? "

" Why— why— " "Don't you why at me, sir— don't you do it ! Although I'm the President of the United States, I'll allow no man to why at me!"

" Why—" "You villain !" roared tho executive, as ho made n grab for Slammer's collar ; bufc Mr Slammer steppgd back to abnut ten feet at that moment, wad wag hustled around the corner. "Well?" inquired one of the party, as they camo to a halt. " Waal, I'll be durned ! " hoarsely whispered Mr Slammer. "Why, hang it, I not only got bilked on the bchool-house business, but come mighty near gettin' blazes knocked out of me ! " " Something wrong, somewhere ! Pighed one of the jokers. "I'll tell you what it is," replied Mr Slammer, striking his fingor oowq at every WOf d— "he's been sawn ! Somo o' tbab Thomas crowd has got ia ahead of me and cut all the wheat ! "— Detriot Free Press.