Passing Notes.

Otago Witness, Issue 1461, 15 November 1879, Page 16

Passing Notes.

As a great and ardent admirer of the fair sex I have been much exercised by their recent elevation in the social scale in this rising Colony of ours. Our legislature has set an example to all the world, and instead of giving votes only to each "man," henceforward gives them to •every " person." And a woman is a ■ *' person," though most women would not regard anyone as respectful who bo addressed them. Thus at one stride our civilisation has advanced a century, we are approaching an arcadian age, for when once down-trodden woman shall exorcise her rightful influence in the world, then, indeed, we may hope for everything that is "good, true, and beautiful," to spring up in our social economy like flowers in early summer. The vision seen by the heir of Lockesley Hall will begin to come true — Love took up tbe barp of life, and smote on all its choidi with might. Smote the chord of Self that trembling pasaed in music

out of tight. We only need one more reform, and that I suppose is but a question of time — the presence of ladies in the House of BepreBentativeo ; then they would tame the *ayage inmates of that State Menagerie,

The ass would bray more gently, the bear growl more softly, the "outs" would no longer bait the ' ' ins" with savage taunts, and the ins would no longer keep their seats by means of secret compacts. Secrets ! why they would be impossible in the presence of a compact body of the fair sex, with their two-fold instincts of finding out, and of telling what they know. All would be open as the day. And then by Buch sweet companionship what might not our senators become, moraily, socially, conversationally, and in all other respects ? With a ladies' teatable set up as a rival to Bellamy's, we might positively keep our senators sober. And as to ratting, who ever heard of a woman who deßerted her post through fear or favour 1 Kay, I doubt if there could any longer be an Opposition, for all the gentlemen would needs be on the ladies side. What a vista is opening before as of (i pippins and cheese to come !"

While one set of people is agitating for protection to Native industry, another set would be justified, I think, in agitating for protection against Native industry in certain forms. The industry of the Town Surveyor, for instance, is notorious. He has cut and carved our beautiful hills in a wonderful way. But he has obstructive powers under existing bye-laws that are fearful and wonderful. I heard the other day that a certain engineering firm were wishful, in order to execute marine boiler work with more facility, and so encourage a "native industry," to erect an iron slip on the reclaimed ground — their own property. They were immediately told by the Corporation officials — the Surveyor, I suppose — that they could do so on giving a bond to pull it down within three >ears ! The only reason given is that the officials had previously exacted the same bond from somebody else. If a free country is one in which every one can do what he likes with his own, this is not a free country. Year by year we are getting more and more "regulated" and in time the State will get, I believe, to wind us all up like watches and set us all keeping the Bame time of day whether we like it or not. I have no doubt the cabmen feel themselves aggrieved by that Corporation protected industry, the tramway. Certainly owners of buggies feel it a grievance, as it plays the mischief with their wheels. I for my part have felt aggrieved when .compelled to use very dirty water and pay Corporation price for it. At every corner the hand of the State is upon our shoulder, and personal liberty is out of the question. Do as you like ? Why any man of common energy who tried it would be in Inspector Mallard's hands in a week. It is rather an amusing thing to note this in a democratic age.

I heard a member of the Dunedin National Industrial Association complaining that the papers had been "giving the Society beans." I couldn't help thinking that "thistles" would have been more appropriate fodder. There is a very strong reason, at any rate, for not putting extra duties on dyestuffs. The Society would then be sure to grow madder. This substance, as a member explained to me yesterday, is chiefly used for dyeing Turkey red. With the butchery of Plevna fresh in my memory, it was difficult to repress a feeling that he had spoken a word of evil omen. While I am on puns, I may as well note one or two that have been going the rounds lately. Eagles, the well-known bard, remarked to a friend at a public dinner : "Isn't this truly the Poet's corner, Jack?" — "If you like," quoth Jack. " You're the poet, of course, and I — am the scorner." The two French sailors! who went about on crutches singing have been described as asking for alms, when 1 what they really required was legs. "Did that gentleman notice me 1" asked a young lady passenger one day as the Rotomahana ploughed her way through a head Bea ; " does he look round ?" The gentleman to whom the question was addressed must have been Irish, for he replied : "It strikes me, young lady, that he looks (s)guarish."

"What queer double entendres one meets with in advertisements ! Here is one clipped from a local print : — " Vacancy for Two Gentleman ; single or double. — Apply, &c." I know what a single gentieman is. But a " double gentleman," for the life .of me, I can't conceive. Here is a clipping from Messrs Oarsons' advertisement in the Field. " They set very hard," so runs a testimonial, " and stand the weather well, and make a very hard face. I have used your paints 'for more than 20 years." Poor faded beauty with thy hard face ! My heart goes out to thee. In the same journal Messrs Millikin and Lawley advertise an engine warranted to "instantaneously kill eight to nine rats one after the other and throw them quite away." One cannot help thinking that one of these gins should be placed in the House of Representatives ! But Ido not see that the rats should be thrown " quite away." There was once a certain Parisian, well-known for his devotion to economy. He was sitting near the orchestra in a theatre when a row occurred in the gallery, and presently it was plain that in about two seconds a large negro would be violently thrown down into the pit. u Wait, gentlemen, I implore you," screamed the theorist below. "Don't waste him ; hill a fiddler with him /" In the same spirit I would Bay, condemn our rats to (a political) death if you will, but do not throw them away, Send them

back to their constituencies to be a standing example to the "wobblers" of the future.

Dunedin lodging-houses are probably as good as those in other towns, but some people are not happy in them. I was favoured with a call by one Jaques, who has lived in half a dozen, and delights to ridicule them. Some, he says, are " exclusive," you must be "professional" or you can't be received. Into such an abode of gentility a merchant tailor contrived to introduce himself. Horror was depicted on the faces of his fellowboarders when they found out that he was but the ninth part of a man ! This seems to me very snobbish. Nearly all lodging-houses, in whatever part of the world you travel, are {notable for one little peculiarity — your water- jug is always filled quite to the brim, and the towel laid over it, so that directly you attempt to lift it there is a mess. Also, Jaques tells me, people with fastidious noses are offended by the landlady insisting on keeping her bouquets of flowers on the table until the stemsactually decompose. Jaques ventured to remonstrate about this once, but was told :—": — " Weel, dear me, sir, I should ha' thought that with the powerful smell you gents make with your cigars you'd hardly notice a little bad odour from the flowers." The philosopher's reply waa rather characteristic. " Madam," he said, " let me ask you to recall a line of Shakespeare. ' Lilies jthat^fester^smell^ far worse than weeds.' "

"Life would be tolerable," said some one, "but for its pleasures." This remark occurred to me very forcibly on Monday. About 8 o'clock I went down in a cab to the Caledonian Society's grounds, and soon found myself jammed in an angry crowd, all clamouring for admission. There were men, women, boys, and babies in arms, all on a causeway about 25 feet wide, with a ditch on each side, a barrier in front, and hundreds of people shoving with might and main behind. Through the barrier we were admitted one by one ; and it reminded me so forcibly of the operations on a sheep station, that had the fireman who took the tickets, proposed to dock my tail or ear-mark me, I should not have ventured a word of remonstrance. However, we got through at last ; no babies were suffocated, and I am not aware that any one was drowned in either ditch. In the grounds the amusements were very dismal. From a lofty window men were lowered by various contrivances. Every one expected to see one of the amateur acrobats killed ; the basket trick nearly resulted in an accident. At last a man jumped into a sheet from a height of about, 40 feet, and very naturally broke his leg. It is very odd that people find amusement in such exhibitions. The fireworks came next. I need hardly say that they were utterly mismanaged. Mines, vulgarly called devil-among-the-tailors, are very good if they are of a fair size ; but then the ones fired off on Monday were little things only fit for a gar-den-party. As for the "capricious " and other wheels, they were fired anyhow ; some, I think, in the middle ! Accordingly, they wouldn't gyrate ! The last rocket went up about ten minutes before midnight, and I confess I was glad it was over. Civis.