LITTLE JOHNNYS PIECE ABOUT LOBSTERS.

Otago Witness, Issue 1417, 18 January 1879, Page 23

LITTLE JOHNNYS PIECE ABOUT LOBSTERS.

A wicked feller he thot it wude be funny for to give his girl a bookay of posies with a live lobster in it, but wile he was takin it to her house he forgot and smelt it his ownself, and wen he was yellin, cos the lobster had got him, a policeman came up and said ; " Wich way did he go ? " A woman had a nice little dog, wich come in the room oae day and Bnook under the sofy, like it was a shamed, but bimeby ahe got it to come out, and it dident have no tail, only just a stump ware it had ben pinch off, like in a gate. So she said : "Poor little Fido, wot ever has done it ? He fine out if it was the servants and discharge 'env' But the dog was a twistin itself rite and left, and tryiu to smile, much an to say : " O, never mind tho tai', mam, you see how wel Icm waggle with out it." , But the woman she went to the kitchin and found out how it was, cos Fido had been a foolin about among tho vittles where he didn't ot to be, and had got his tail in a lobster aallid.

When a dealer tells you the stiff, uncomfortable looking boots he wants to soil you are calfskin, remember that a full grown cow or a bull is a calf's kin. " You are the flower of your company," said a youug lady to a inembor of the Second Rpgimont. " I should be, dear," ho replied, "if I had ten drills more." No liuman being can over look the barber who is shaving him steadily in the eye. — Ex. Perhaps uot ; but why let the barber " shave him steadily in the eye ?!' A farmer Avhose cows were sick was advised to do'o them plentifully with -whiskey. He did so, and was rewarded with a choice variety of corned beef.— Chicago E.\. ]