THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE AND TWO.

Otago Witness, Issue 1343, 25 August 1877, Page 21

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE AND TWO.

The English language is often a puzzle io. fop^gners, andf sometimes ..drives, eve'n^ an American "hotel keeper into ""a^ofneir, as for instance -in 'tKe-followiyfe^perfenCe'' at the Fifth 1 i Avenue ' .Hotel, where ]a .wealthy 7^est came to ,pomplam at the office, and* was ,tfiere' met' Ij'y* the' gracious}, Griswold, who roseltfo explain. 1 „ ; ".WhatJEor, sare, ypu,gar,gpn npt presenti my ; demand,?" . I b ''^our "demand, .monsieur?" 1 < L tf 1., " Yeß, D sarb, ri dofi speak-'lnglis perfait, sare. ; do you comprehend ?" j~> "Certainly,. ypur ( .pSnglish is perfectly correct, .my. dear sir; p what is it you desire f'--' 1 '• ' -•'.'•:.'" "~Vy, sarey yqu-. tell' me.J can' have at mj^ pr4v,ate .table wbimy friends s^hajev^ 1 I desire to manger — pardon, to eat!"' ■ , "Certainly," said G-riswold; '"anything ; ■ste'wfed -doubloons and diamond' sau<&, if you\?ish."[ ;'. ...•• <-„ „ .. ; " Ah, no ! monsieur, zat is too rich, simply desire some gripe. : "Eh; sonic what '?"' J . " Some grice, Monsieur Griswold, such as I eat for my dinner ze ozer day." - - ' . ; "Ah, you mean rice, boiled rice — certainly, "ailiKe rice you desire." . ' • "U. 9, sa^e.'l-.-It is not rice. Zat is what ,zat premier- gargon.-^headwaitare, ' say. It" is a bird I want, sare ; I wari t. him roast, not boil." , M " Roast gi ice— why,'let me see*, ■' said f. G-jiswold in 'a, dilemma, not wishing' to appearigh;oran| of his guest's meaning; i . " v'l don't 'believe there is a single'gric'e in market.. 1 , "...,,, t ' " Ah, you mistake when you say "single grice." j . "Indeed?" ! " Yes, sare. Vat you call a leetle rat, , I<f Mouse," suggested thepropriefcor. : j , <f( >Y^<: ;Zeri' s fcwo-6f-'zemy vat : you call twoYnioe, ehT- ■'- '**-' , I,

: > c i Qnite correct," responded the host* '•" "Zeny if one is ze bird.yoii call-grouse, twp'is whaji'you call-gri6e,- eh-?"- ; £•* :5: 5 '"^hy/nor.-eiactljr/^sai^ to hotel ; mkn -'^struggling to r -"keep' c^untehatfee ; vfs&tyaP^FßjiP-™? 1 !* hP u y.f OPu0 Pu ino.use^inice 1 (sare,''.;saidjpao;asieurl( sare,''.;saidjpao;asieur l ji^vunphand svyrnot.-you -.sayLtw.o -hicejfor .'frrcirhoiisesji orP— i-',' How hiaxhiUe ymjght ih^ve^continued'-caiihot.'bes^atdf? -but at 'ttei^rnonfentf' theM heaft oterls?,i Ealoier, [stariding'near^ had a v -viblent' ; attack l of coughing, __and .Carr, the room clerk, >.w^lked,ofE BTiddenly r and slammed, on the for- { f{frent"i->toj do .something,, and.nthen >atuck his own head tdownlbeneatb-.the counter, as the':amused 'ho3t;walkedaiway towards 'the dining hall ■witli'his gue§t, t6 order ' <<J twogrice? ?l for -monsieur's' private table: >- ' v ■ • '''"I

Historicall— Jfid^ " Juror/^ Rep#r&<Rnd -Awards, -New- Zealand-Exhibition^ . Jurors : J. A. Ewen, J^rßutterwprth, T. O. Skinner. " So . far ds 1 Hh& 'Colony* is. concerned, _^he dyeing of materials, is; almost entirety confined to the re-dyeing of Articles of Dreaa and i lJpholst,eryj'a most usefuLart.ipr f there, jtre'mariykirids' of material 'that' loso/their colour before the 'texture is half worfi/G. Hersch- 'of 'Dunedih. (Dtjnbdik Dyb- Wobks, George street, opposite Royal George Hotel) Exhibits- a case of specimens of dyod'iWools, Silks, and -Feather*, aud dyed Sheepskins. The colours on the whole are very fair, and reflect cdnsiderable credit-on, the Exhibitor, to whom the Jurors recommended an Honorary Certificate should be awarc^d," Honorary Certificate,'. -639t : ■• Gustav Hirsch, p.unedin,.fpr { ,Specimen, of- Dyeing.in Silk, ; fleathenj, i&Q. .,, t , , „..,,.'

Advice to Mothers '—Are you' broken in' your rest ■ by W" sick' ''child suffering with the pain-'of cutting teeth ? Go l at 'once to a chemist and gtt a bottle of. Mrs „Winslow's Soothing Syrup.- ■ It will relieve the poor sufferer, immediately/ It is' perfectly harmless and pleasant to.taqte, it, produces {natural, quiet sleep, by relieving the, child from pain, and the little cherubjawa^es^as.bright as a button.'" 1 ' it'soothes the child, if'softens the gums, allays all' pain, relieves 1 wind, -regulates the.bowels; ! and; > is' the < beat !known' remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea,; whether arising from, teetbjng prr other causes." Mrs Winslow's Soothing 'syrup is sold by Medicine dealers everywhere- at' Is" l^ft- per bottie. Manufactured afr£93, Oxford'Stre"et, London.

•"FidRnJNE I-^ForWe TBEralisJ Breath. — A few drop's of the liijiud "Flohline" sprinkled on.^a wefc tooth-brush produces a j'.H^aant i .lather, 1 which -.tjiorqughly. cleanses the te/-fch fcqm^aU^parasjjtes' op impurities, W^s,; * h , e 4,g^m3,;4 ,g^ m 3,; preveiifcs" tartar. tf Xp 3 decay, -gives to ther'teetir'a^p&uliir pearly, whiteness, an* 'au'deHgntraltfragrance'to' the breath. It removes, all unpleasant odour On-ising< from' 'the-'decaye'd^tee'th-ar' t'oWco csmokev iJ.M.Tfce: Fragrant, JBloriline,^ being .composed,. in, part p£ t |lpDßy.and lßfreeiil Bfreeii kerbs, ii s '., de & v ?. F? * he . JM<?* a ? d ,.the ; greatest toilet discovery pf .'the age. Price' 2s Bd, oi all Chennstsahd' PerfaifrW* Prepared by .HenrylC. •Gallup,"' 493, Oxford street, London. c , , J ' 23d Yf •■ i. /, i . ;/ I \r

.fr/VALTJABLE DISCOFBRY FOR THB Haiti.— iPi,"yW'W~ | w, t nwi«W grey, ori, white, or ne W T £' f $ >V,ViH fltotfjveljr r ?X fc 9Ve inevery •cdlour;-^VithVut. J %vin ! gg v .'t«6 ;! Tlfsaigreeible smell of -Most '"Restorers: 7^ It makes the ,M i F.., c^ r j ? H i^M^ elfu^ ifu1 ' as we{ l as Pro-,-fabtirig tHe of f tfair'oa i bald"s^% %ne*e « the "a're'J iU" f ftecaye'd. ! ;: your Chemist for "•♦The , Mexican Hair 'RstawEß/'-'-'prepare^ tir fifeNttV C< 493 Oxford Tstfee'^ 1 'laonhon,. and sold by ohemis{s v and*Perfum'ih-sev TerSrwherßT erSrwherB at 3a 6dper ! Bottler' •-'«'».*-> •''' .*■/. • .;/.»

"Berkeley, Sept. 1869.— Gentlemen, I feel it a duty I owe to yon to express my gratitude for the great benefit I hbve derived by taking 'Norton's Camomile Fills.' j applied to your agent, Mr Bell, Berkeley, for the above-named Fills, for wind in the stomach, from which I suffered excruciating pain for a length of time, having tried nearly every remedy prescribed, bnt without deriving any benefit at aIL After taking two bottles of your valuable Fills, I was quite restored to my usual state of health. Please give this publicity, for the benefit of those who may be thus afflicted. I am, Sir, yours truly, Henry At.t.vass. — To the Proprietors of Norton's Camomile Pilis."— [A»vt.] 4s Dr. Locock's Pulmonio Waters. — 13,490 cures have been published in the last year of asthma, consumption, bronchitis, coldß, and all disorders of the breath and lungs — hysterical, nervous, and heart complaints, rheumatism and nervous pains. They act like a charm, and taste pleasantly. Sold by all Druggists at Is l^d, 2s 9d, 4s 6d, and lls per box. Sold by Kempthorne, Proßser, and Co., Danodin.— [Advt.]