HOW SLOCUM LOST HIS ELECTION.

Otago Witness, Issue 1342, 18 August 1877, Page 21

HOW SLOCUM LOST HIS ELECTION.

The people of.Millburg feel a very, intense interest in politics, and during a campaign there is always a good deal of excitement. The bitterest straggle that the town has had for a long whue was that which preceded the election of a couple r of years ago, .when I was not &, resident of the place. One incident' parC ticularly attracted a good deal of attention, '■- 'Mr Potts related tha facts to m§L in : the following language :-rr „ " e,***, You know we nominated JBill Slocum for burgess. He was the most popular' mau in the place ; everybody liked him. And a few days after the convention adjourned, Bill was standing talking to Joe Snowden about the election, and BUI happened to remark, 'I've got to win: r Mrs Martin' was going by at the time ; and as Bill was speaking very rapidly, ho pronounced it like this : 'I've got twin ;' and Mrs Martin thought he was telling Snowden that he'd got twins. And Mrs Martin, just like all women about such matters, at once went through the village, spreading the report that Mrs Slocum .had twins.

" So, of course, there was a f ass right off ; and the boys said that as Bill was a candidate, and a mighty good fellow anyhowyou tookhim, it'd be nothing more than fair to congratulate him on his good luck by getting up some kind 1 of a public demonstration from his' fellow-citizens. Well, sir. you never saw such enthusiasm. The way that idea took was wonderful,and all hands agreed that .we ought to, have a parade. So they ran up the flags on the hotels and the town-hall, and on the two schooners down at the wharf, and Judge Twiddler adjourned the court over till the next day, and the supervisersgave the public schools a holiday, arid got up a turkey dinner for the coavicts in the gaoL

"And some of the folks drummed up" the brass band, and it led off, with Major Slott following, carrying an American flag hung with roses. Then came the clergy in carriages, followed by the Masons, and Odd Fellows, and Knights of Pythias. And the Young Men's Christian Association turned out with the Sons of Temperance, about, forty strong, in full regalia. And General Trumps pranced along on a white horse ahead of the Millburg Guards. Then came citizens walking tw.o and two, and a big crowd of men and boys brought up the rear. "The band, mind you, all this time playing the most gorgeous, music,, with cymbals and Jenkins's coloured man. spreading himself on the big drum. And Bill never knew anything about it. It "was a perfect surprise to nun. And when the procession stopped in front of his house, they gave him three cheers, and lie came rushing out on the porch to see what all the noise was about. As soon as he appeared the band Btruck up-^ See, the Conquering Hero Comes, 1 and Major Slott lowered the flag, and General Irumps waved his hat, and the guard fired a salute, and everybody cheered. ? "Bill bowed and made a little speech, and said how honoured he was by such a demonstration, and he Baid he felt certain of victory, and when he was in oflice he would do his best to serve his fellow- 1 citizens faithfully. Bill thought it was~"a~ political serenade ; and when he got through. General Trumps cried : . , it , " 'Bring out the twins.' "Bill looked puzzled for a minute, and then he said :

" ' I don't think I understand you. What d'you say 1 ' " ' Bring out the twins,' said Judge Twiddler. 'Less look at 'em.'

" 'Twins!' sayßßiil. 'Twins! Why, what d'ye mean, judge V "'Why, the twius. Rush 'em out. •Hold em in the window, so's we can see 'em,' said Major Slott. " 'Gentlemen/ said Bill, « there must

be some little — some Blight mistake, respecting the — that is, you must have been misinformed about the — the — cr — cr — Why, there are no twins about thia.house.' • „' I

"Then they thought he -was, joking, and the band broke int^withj* Listen .to" the Mocking-bird,' and^Bill 'came down to find out the drift of r Judge Twiddler's remarks. And when he really convinced them that there wasnlt'aiwin anywhere about /the place, you 'never saw a worse disgusted crowd in,. your life. Mad as fury. They said they had no idea Bill Slocum would descend to such trickery as that. — ■ ***" , t -t j "So they broke up. ' The judge w,en| back to the court-room so indignant he,, sentenced a prisoner for twenty^yVars;' when the law only allowed him $0, give ten. The supervisors, they took .their spite out by docking the school-teachers'' half a day, and* cutting off the cranberry, sauce from the 'turkey dinner at the gaol. General Trumps got drunk .as an owl. The City Councils held an adjourned meeting and raised the water rent on Slocum; and ' Jenkins's nigger burst ' in the head of the big drum with a brick. Mad's no word for it. They were wild with. rage. * * And that killed Bill. They beat him by two hundred majority at the election, just on account of old Mrs Martin misunderstanding him. Rough, ,/wasn't it 1 Bui it don't seem to me like the fair thing on Bill."— Max Adeler. .