Sentiment and Humour.

Otago Witness, Issue 1325, 21 April 1877, Page 19

Sentiment and Humour.

„ s Neck or Nothing.— The giraffe. ! MoDEßNLttipuTiAifs.— TheTyne-yfolk - ! Mother of '« Peril,?-'— A 'mother-in-law. .]•-. .' „ „ , •; : , j A Slow Match. --^A ten years' engagement.' , ,-i:!}' /r '"-.llU -„\VC. \°l I The,- real Bjslle'op the Babl.^— 3?he i supper bell: ■>;<,,. , .-.- j . ._ ;, (i i „,,:j „.,_ ■ | A: book' that- is full of- plates 'is reconv-' mended as r being of the right kind forthe^ table. .",>; -I „ \,, , i' „ . • -, [Some one: has said that modesty is a ' ■quality .that highly adorns a woman!- but > ruins' a man.' ■ - ' : ■■„.', ..u/ i • \ Asr- old sailor boastingly'said,. "I began - J the .world iwith nothing, and" I. have held -i my own ever since." • - ; •■„! ,•._<• ,- ! " Why,". . said he; "I wort all day ka' ; steals all night,'- an';yet I'm b'lest-ef 'lien »■ niakean honest living? " '.j . ; !•-.:>.,.! •-.:>.,. -„> To be 'able .to bear provocation^ is a 1 • »ppof of -great, wisdom ; andtotforgivejit < is a proof -.-of ''a greatfmind.- •if t>d v," , ; ; . Every man.ought to have a wife. 'If aman> is. happily married, that otie-rib-''ia^ worth, all the- other bonea-in "his' body. •* •'• > <■ i ! ''.Was not-iher death' quite' sudden V*~«said a; condoling A friend -to a ! bereaved ■ widower::- *f Well','yes,>father, J fo"rherj"."' ■ ■ ;A:negro> in. South Carolina, wno'waa complaining, of the.hardJtimes^declared > they ewere < « the. hardest, i ever -known \ i r | Boarding-school' Miss^-^Ohy Charlie* ■ I| expect to /graduate next commence- ( menti'.'. /'^Graduate-! whatwillyou'eradjiatein?"^ .''Why, in white tulle !'!>< . /. , Boarder-^" This 'tea' seems very weak MrslStiht." [Landlady— « Well, I gueas-. >it; must be the'warm weather.' I feel weak myself.; in fact everybody complains."' .. i | The Republique 1 -Frangaise is -in favour - of M. Le'ottSayjbeingafr'the h'ead ! of the ■ new; Ministry. /There was 1 too • much 1 Say about the last Cabinet to Defaure-the " real Republicans. . •> :]u,di r r. , . 4 r-,y.«» r » •;„ 1 7 JFun was informed that Mr Bright had ; »uchistrong feelings onlth'e r Eastern tiiueai-tiph.-that he declined ttoi preside' "afhia ■ lowndinneriablefbn.Christmas^for'tha s reason that : he. would hot help Turkey at any.'ipriceJ ->,m. i : i , [ v . mi,:,,.,, „,,\ : d \Wsm Lqngfellow,-the pbet^wa^intro- < dUced.to Mr'Longworth/.someo'ne'nOti^e'd siinjkanty . of'.'.the-.firat isyllaljlVrofi^ttie;name?.r [.".Yes," said-theJpo^^but'in' - [this, case-jli fear -Pupefs line will fappiv-^ A W.orthimakes;the man-; , the want 4f & . ■ f tb!e/ fellow. % -»• - sn .Soinih- !< )3 v f ; i iPßoyiDENOß.t— Lady :»" Well,'Tibbeta r and.how is your, son .''John^gettrag on 1 ? '?■ ». rNuraej beTgeUingPncfiritcla^^ - .thankee mum. '. HetoldiUS^yeslierda-y' Us ■'■< how-^tQ. ibeeiu.arid<jjoined'Foue''b' those' s ere>jfeunal Bocieties.itfSolihe's.irirovida(l ffopallLrightyV^ZorirfoS^Bjuii -, isi ,- iv ■ • Jf.PANOAr;.YERBA:??^Scerie— fOana'dlattshanty* -Americaa^at/thesdooryi^i'KY^ < 'aincta^nary.pneiseerismy dog?s He 1 werean .all-fired; critter afv'bar/ and'lllmigi him ! . j: :. iVoice '(from; the bunk) • «Seed a ■ .barVand, dog^theyu" were runnin'-^-'doff ' were a/littleaheadp'the bar Vl-^-Bunch'u -. Not AijiALL ,SiNGULAR.-ilst Yokel -'i be, a good, .Christian^ SamueLu. 2nd ditto • • <Beest H ,thou f H ,Howj dost if know? * Ist . ditto. ; ? vWhoy,?rParso mr n says' 'all good Christiana Wglad, .when Christmastime come^ an s I be's glad enough/ 'coa then^l ■• as a spree, -and -lota i o r dfinki —London J<Un. / , -> ;..,. i:.- sI,IKs I,IK -„,n, One .cheerful if ace. in; a household will keep.eyerything bright and* warm-within ••' Envy, "hatred.; maliceit selfishness,, >dA^ pondency, and a host: of o evil. tpas'siona; may.lurk around the door; they may even '■ look .withinj .but .they. can never^enterahd' abide j there,; >tte cheerful-^ face will -put - them to shame and flight. ...',' ,>s • ".SEE^heraM'hrexclaimed amamwho' had; just had a contest rtvrith >a- ffieeing - burglar, to a gaping crowd, as fie * pointed • withUsome pride, and a good- deaL'of ' .nervousness T to a bullefc-hole through the crown^of, .his.hat^r-ff.Look. at) that'hole, will.youj rlou see;th r at iUhia-had.-bW' a .lowfcrowned,.hat..L 1 bhould ' have* been killed outright.?'.,*; .'«,,-..> /v. jr. ,- ,J :, 'Ahong. other suggestions to enableia' petaon . to avoid -, the - cholera , ?are , the; < ! .following,:. "Endeavour, if'-possible/to- • keepja dean conscience,, and'two-or- three' . clean, ; shir.ts.. r!l ßi a e with -■ the 'larki Ibuf / avpid ,larks ( in : the' evening.^. Be- above, grdund.in t all ,youfc deaUngs.iT ,Love yourneyghbpurKasyouraelf^.but don't haventoo jnany in the same house with you." . : -■ ' •• < H SA^/ Jim ', "inquired a youngperspn • of I his.cempamonj.rwhorwas.lbut ! a few ■■ye^rs. older than „ himself, •. ". what ' does ...p.m. mean- .af fcer/; them <>figures^on f-thatf -that .there .railway .bill -Wi Jim m responded •■* conscious of r his jewn .wisdom, H Penny 'a mile, ,tq;be sure !". ,«f Well;. and 'a.m'V' " Oh, r ,that x ;means— that, 'means, ,v . Jim, hesitating, "that means a-'aperiV a « miler!,"v , .;, , : - .•; '[ --.-.' „ Mistaken .Identity. -^lAs. .the De Smiths,. i% to ,whoso 2 dinner /party- he -was invited, .lived- in the next square, Brown thought he would walk over. 1 Hea'd%aiter' - (Meeting him at the dobr 4 ian<i tdong-jum for, an assistant who had come late)-— This won't do, young man? . We've been expectin o? you this 'our>ancU >'alfi! .'No - napkma laid, no glasses; ho~! (Brown 1 never got over ifc all , the evening) .- >v- •„•. Laughter very often 'shows the bright sideof man. ,. It brings out^ his .happier nature, and shows of what s'ortof stuff he is really made. Somehow* we tfeelaa T if we never thoroughly knbwa man;until we have heard him laugh- We do no'fc feel, at home "• with himtill then. We do not^ean a-mere:snigger,but a'good;. hearty, round laugh: The solemn, sober . - visage., like aSanday/s dreas^ tells nothing . of : the real man, .He may be'J.very pro.foundjev.ery.croas, ,or;very-jollyr liet 'üb" nearilymrlaugh^andtwfl canrdeoipher tfim^ at once, and tell how his heart beats,