what matrimony reveals.

Otago Witness, Issue 1248, 30 October 1875, Page 2

what matrimony reveals.

After a year or so of matrimony a man may. discover how much of the brute there ia in him ; it crops out a dozen times daily. You discover that women are unreasonable. They will want to talk while you are read iag or writing. They want you to stay at home at nights. They will have headaches. They want buckets of coal just when of all times you don't feel like going for them. These are crosses which might, during courtship, be endured. Then you had something to strive for. Matrimony shows up your hypocrisy. Oat of the hodse you are Btnoofch and smiling to all the world. You are accommodating, good-natured, and never put out by tntling inconveniences. But a change of heart, and for the worse, is experienced every time you come in doors and meet that unfortunate girl who now bean your name. There and then all the heat, burthen, care, and perplexity of the day comes, and you remark, " Why, in thunder, isn't dinner ready? Where's my cuffs? What did you ask old Mrs Smith here for this evening ? I don't want to hear her gab for three Hours before bed-time. I want, I want, I want, I do not know what I want, I want rest." Actually in all this distress she wants you to build a fire ! You (broken down completely) — " My — , couldn't you keep up that fire yourself ? I've done nothing but bring in coal for the last three days. Is tbat suspender button sewed on ? No ? Well, before I was married, when I could put my hand on my own needles and thread, and everything a man wants wasn't mixed up with five thousand bushelß of old ribbons, lace, frills, powder, nightgowns, and flummery. I didn't have to wait a month for a suspender button to be sewed on. There was some order, peace, and quietness in one's house then."

She: "Been asking you to get some buttons and thread every day." You : " Ain't there the store right opposite ? It's only a step ; can't you get them yourself."

She: "No money." You (ten pounds additional pressure to the inch) : "No money ! Great Scott ! Didn't I give you ten cents week before last? Where i<j all that goae to ! Do you think I'm a Rothschild ? Do you want ten thousand dollars a week to buy buttons and thread with ? When are you going to get through sweeping the room ? It Beema to me it's nothing but dusting and sweeping from morning till night !" This is you, the easy, good-natured fellow at the club or among your outside lady friends. This is to be Tiltonian. Look at your own reality now — at home simply diabolical. You want a row — you court one — you would rather there was a row in the house than not;. You ex* perience a Satanic pleasure in the uulkg, gloomy reticence, and snappish answers. Because it is safe. She won't complain. She wants to keep up among her friends the impression that she has a jewel of a husband. It's her endurance that confirms and impels yon in your Satani>m.' Were she, in one of your moods, to change suddenly into a brawny, bullet-headed prize • fighter, and wallop you within an inch of your miserable life, you'd quickly Bhut off your vapours as you felt them coming on.