SPELLING MATCH IN A DETROIT FAMILY.

Otago Witness, Issue 1230, 17 July 1875, Page 21

SPELLING MATCH IN A DETROIT FAMILY.

The other evening old Mr and Mrs Coffin, who live on Brush street, sat in their cosy back parlour, he reading the newspaper and she knitting, and the family cat stretched out under the stove, and sighed and felt sorry for cats not so well fixed. It was a happy, contented household, and there was love in his heart as Mr Cofiin put down the newspaper and remarked :—: — "I see that the whole country is beooniing excited about spelling schools." "Well, it's good to know how to spell," replied the wife. "I didn't have the chance some girls had, but I pride myself that I can spell almost any word that comes along." " I'll see about that," he laughed ; "come, now, spell buggy." ''Humph! that's nothing — b-u-g-g-y, buggy," she replied. " Missed the first time— ha !ha ! " he roared, slapping his leg. - "Not much — that was right." " It was, eh I Well, I'd like to see anybody get two g's in buggy, I would." "But it is spelled with two g's, and any schoolboy will tell you so," she persisted. " Well, I know a durn sight better than that ! "he exclaimed, striking the table with his fist. t " I don't care what you know ! " she squeaked ; "I know there are two g's in buggy ! " " Do you mean to tell me I've forgotten how to spell ] " he asked. "It looks that way." "It does, eh I Well, I want you and all your relations to understand that I know more about spelling than the whole caboodle of you, strung on a wire ! " " And I „:it 3 r ou to understand, Jonathan Cofhu, that you are an ignorant old block-head, when you don't put two g's in the word buggy — yes, you are ! " ] " Don't talk that way to me, "he warned. ] "And doD't shake your fist at me," she replied. "Who's a-shaking his first ? " " You were ! " " That's a lie— an infernal lie I " " Don't call me a liar, you old bazaar ! I've put up with your meanness for forty

years past ; but don't call me a liar, and don't lay a hand on me."

" Do you want a divorce V he shouted, springing up ; " you can go now, this minute ! "

" Don't spit in my face — don't you dare do it, or I'll make a dead man of you," she warned.

" I haven't spit in your freckled old vi°age yet, but I may, if you provoke me farther."

"Who's got a freckled face, you old turkey-buzzard 1 "

This was a little too much. He made a motion as if he would strike, and she seized him by the neck-tie. Then he reacheo. out and grabbed her right ear, and tried to lift her off her feet, but she twisted upon the neck-tie until his tongue ran out, " Let go of me, you old fiend ! " she screamed.

" Git down on yer knees and beg my pardon, you old wild cat ! "

They surged and swayed and struggled, and the peaceful cat was struck by the overturning table and had her back broken, while the clock fell down, and the pictures danced around. The woman finally shut her husband's supply of air oft' and flopped him, and as she bumped his head up and down on the floor, and scattered his grey hairs, she shouted :—: —

"You want to get up another spelling match with me, don't you ? "^

He was seen limping around the yard next day, a stocking pinned around his throat, and she had court-plaster on her noae, and one finger tied up. He wore the look of a martyr, while she had the bearing of a victor, and from this time out, "buggy" will be spelled with two g's in that house. — Detroit Free Press.

Mr Deans, the Acclimatisation Society's manager, is at present at Shag River endeavouring to obtain a supply of trout ova. The river has been very high since bis arrival, and he has experienced great difficulty in procuring fish, while some of these he did get proved to be males. He has in his pos session, however, several thousand eggs, and he hopes to be able, before he returns to Dunedin, to get a further supply.