SEMPLETONS

Otago Daily Times, Issue 24783, 6 December 1941, Page 13

SEMPLETONS

TO THE EDITOR

Sir,—Sometimes there arises a public figure who, by virtue of certain peculiarities of speech, gesture, or platform oehaviour, impresses his character upon the people. In the political world these public fiaures are usually paragons of democratic virtue, and so abnorrent to them is the idea of dictatorship that they are prepared to use force in the inculcation of their own high principles. Their natural vigour is often excessive, but that is generally because of the ignorance of their opponents and 1 the meekness and docility of those whom they lead. Indiosyncrasies of style and speech are not, however, peculiar to our own age. There was a time when the use of impressive words was the' ambition of all who strove to reach the highest circles of society. There is no record in literature of a standard of vulgarity by whjch anyone ever sought to reach the lowest. Mrs Malaprop was symbolic of her age. In fixing her maternal eye on a prospective son-in-law of military rank who, incidentally, whilst courteous, as a gentleman should be, held no conscious respect for the old busybody—she said, ."Sir, you overpower me with good breeding. You are the very pineapple of politeness." To be opposed in her scheming designs " gave her the hydrostatics- to such a degree." I don't know what hydrostatics were, but they indicate violent mental pains. The lady later goes into ecstasies about her choice and endeavours to convey :';.,,her, ardour- to. her

daughter with these words: "He's so well bred; so full of alacrity and adulation; he has so much to say for himself, in such good language, too; his physiognomy so grammatical, his presence so noble; an eye like March, to threaten at command."

I could not'help recalling this description of Mrs Malaprop's " pineapples of politeness " when I read those unforgettable words of Mr Robert Semple spoken on the rugged West Coast. Mr Semple's reply to a woman interjector: "I don't belong to the apologetic type of individual. I don't want to hear that cackling voice and the jarring of that squeaky sub-human noise. I've heard it too often in the zoo." Later a man interjecetd: "Why don't you conscript it (wealth) to-day?", Mr Semple: " This is nothing but an exhibition of compound stupidity. He opens his mouth to cackle, and the wind blows his tongue around. Oh, you poor mutt, you should go home and. read. If you are as light below'the shoulders as you are aboVe you can fly home." But that questioner, like Mrs Malaprop, is saying, "There, sir, an attack- upon my language? What do you think of that? An- aspersion upon my parts of speech!; Was ever such a brute? Sure, if I reprehend anything in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs." And like that insincere old lady of history I shall conclude by saying, " Never was anything better perpetrated."—l am, etc., John Gilpin. Dunedin, December 5. ,