THREE SCORE AND TEN

Otago Daily Times, Issue 24254, 23 March 1940, Page 2

THREE SCORE AND TEN

On reaching the age of "three score and ten," Professor Stephen Leacock writes roguishly and ruefully as follows on the path of life:—You begm as "little man." and then "little boy," because a little man is littler than a little boy; then "sonny," and then "my boy," and alter that "young rmri," and presently the interlocutor is younger than yourself and says, " Say mister." I can still recall the thrill of pride I felt when a Pullman porter first called me " doctor." and when another one raised me up to "judge," and the terrible shock it was when a taxi-man swung open his door and said. "Step right in, dad." It was hard to bear when a newspaper reporter spoke of me as the "old gentleman" and said I was very simply dressed. He was a liar; those were my best things. It was a worse shock when a newspaper last autumn called me a septuagenarian—another cowardly lie. as I was only sixty-nine and seven-twelfths. Presently I shall be introduced as "this venerable old gentleman." and the axe will fall when they raise me to "grand old man." That means on our continent anyone with snow-white hair who has kept out of gaol till 80. That's the last and worst they can do to you-