OUR BABIES

Otago Daily Times, Issue 23326, 19 October 1937, Page 17

OUR BABIES

By Htgeia.

Published under the auspices of th« Royal New Zealand Society for tne Health of Women and Children (Plunkei Society). “ It is wiser to put up a fence at the top of 0 precipice than to main. tain an ambulance at the bottom,' 0 PUNISHMENT: THE HOW AND THE WHY The following article is taken from the English journal Mother and Child, which is published by the National Council for Maternal and Child Welfare and its constituent societies:— There is only one good reason for punishing a child —that is to make him understand that he must not repeat some action which you believe to be undesirable. . , , Some parents punish their child for other reasons—perhaps because what the child is doing annoys them and they want him to stop; perhaps ]ust to “pay him back” because he has been naughty; perhaps because the parents are tired and so get angry easily. None of these reasons are good ones. They are unfair to the child. To punish him for any of these reasons will not improve his conduct or make him more inclined to bo good. They will only teach him to keep out ot his parents’ way when tempers appear to be short.

IS HE REALLY NAUGHTY?

Before you punish be quite sure that what your child is doing is really naughty. Are you sure that he is not just playing some game or perhaps even trying to help you? It is not naughty for a child to be noisy. It is not naughty for him to want to move about. It is not naughty for him to want to touch and hold things. Children need to move about and make a noise. And it is by handling and feeling things that they learn what the world round about them is like. Of course, children do not need to be too noisy. They do not need to be rough. If they become too uproarious mother has to check them, but let her be very sure that their behaviour is unreasonable before she does so. Some children are naughty because they find it a sure way of getting mother’s attention. If you have to punish your child again and again for doing the same thing, try different tactics. Praise him and give him lots of attention when he is good and pay no attention to him when he is naughty. Sometimes children are “whiny” and fretful simply because they are sleepy. The thing to do in such a case is not to slap them, but to see that they go to bed earlier and that they have a nap in the afternoon.

Short tempers are often due to tiredness, even in the case of grown-ups, but mothers will agree that it is hardly fair to “take it out of" a child just because they are weary and irritable themselves. When people are tired they are irritated by little things that they would scarcely notice when their bodies and minds are rested. For example, one day baby may be playing with the saucepans in the kitchen, earning everyone's approval for helping mother.” The next day he may do the same thing, to be rewarded with slaps for making such a noise, because mother happens to have a headache after a bout of washing. Now. is that fair to the baby? Why was he slapped? Because he was naughty, or because mother was tired? The wise mother will see to it that she has sorge rest each day. It will keep her from becoming overtired and help her to remain serene in dealing with her children.

CHILDREN KNOW WHAT IS JUST Children arc very keenly aware of justice and injustice. They know, for instance, that if they have been teasing their playmates it is fair for them to be made to play alone for a while. They know it is fair not to be given sweets when they have refused to eat their vegetables. They do not like these punishments, of course, but they do know they are fair. Some punishments are much better than others. Smacking, scolding, locking a child in a room by himself, or forbidding him to play out ot doors arc not good ways of punishing, and the wise mother does not resort to

them. She knows of much more effective ways of persuading her child to her little boy has been bullying the children, he plays with. She does not smack him or scold him, but she stops him from playing, with them till he is ready to play nicely. If he forgets and renews his bad behaviour, then he must play alone again. Sooner or later he will learn that he must not hurt his playmates, because he wants to play with them, children do not like to be alone. Another example—perhaps he does not come straight home from school or perhaps he does not come in when he is called. Mother does not say “ To-morrow you cannot go out to play” because she knows he needs to be out in the fresh air and that it would be bad for him to go without play. Instead she . deprives him of some small treat which it will not huit him to go without. Children who are naughty because they are tired do not need to be punished: they need to rest. SOME GOLDEN RULES Pay no attention is a very useful rule for parents in a great many circumstances, particularly where temper tantrums and fussiness about food are concerned. , „ The best plan of all. of course, is to keep your child from needing to be punished. This can be done if mother begins the task when he is a baby and bears in mind that she should;— , , . . , „ 1 Pay attention to him when he is good and not only when he is naughty. 2 Always do what she promises. 3. Speak and act the truth to her ° h 4? < Never threaten a baby with punishments she cannot carry out. 5 Never laugh at or praise him for something one day and scold or punish him for the same thing to-morrow. 6. Remember that a healthy child cannot sit still or be quiet all the time. Every child needs plenty of outdoor play—running, lumping, and climbing. , ... . . , 7 Keep him so busy with interesting things to do that he has no time to be naughty. If you do not like what your child is doing, give him something else to do: don’t scold him. Remember that none of his toys are half so interesting to him as the everyday things of the home—the pots and pans, the vegetables you are peeling for dinner, the coal in the scuttle. He wants to find out all about them, and it is very desirable he should do so. Let him have the things he cannot break. Put away the things he should not have so that he won’t see them. Then he will not ask for them, and you need not say no. Above all, do not try to make your child “ good by frightening him. Don’t say “If you re not good the policeman will come and take you away.” Don’t frighten him with dreadful things that the doctor or the

dentist will do to him if he is naughty. You will make him afraid of people whom he should come to regard as friends—the policeman, who is someone who will always lead him safely across the road, the doctor and dentist whom he should trust as kindly people who always want to make him feci well and better. Worse still, you will teach him not to trust you. Do not use punishments to make him afraid of the dark. When he was a baby he was not afraid of the dark, but you will make him so if you lock him away in the dark when he is naughty. , , All human beings, children included, have to learn that we all pay, in some way or other, for the bad things they do, but punishment must not be so severe that children will tell lies, to escape it. Whipping children, slapping them and putting them in dark cupboards are punishments that make them afraid and cause them to tell lies. The untruthful child is generally the pitiful little child who has been made afraid.