THE COMMON ROUND

Otago Daily Times, Issue 22957, 12 August 1936, Page 2

THE COMMON ROUND

By Wayfarer Further to our true story of the schoolmaster who told his pupils how to play the game, comes this one; Dear “ Wayfarer,”—Your tale of little Tommy, who believed it sporting to wear both Otago and Southland colours to the match, so that he could pocket those of the loser, has its equivalent in rowing circles. It was at a time when rivalry between two interprovincial eights was especially strenuous. Before they me.t the veteran coach of one crew —call it Ocanterland —called his men together and addressed them. “ You will no doubt be beaten,” he told them, and 1 want you to realise that winning doesn't mean anything. I don t care whether you win or not. I just want you to behave like true Ocanterlandiah gentlemen. That is the only thing that matters.” The Ocanterland crew, as it happened, managed to win the raC( ~ They returned with great dignity to the boat-house, concealing their pardonable elation at an unexpected and gratifying win. Imagine their surprise- to see. standing before them, and jumping madly up and down m his excitement, their grey-haired coach, shouting: “Weve beaten the 1 We’ve beaten the Anent the Naziflcation of the Reich, the press reports the comment of a New Zealand visitor, writing home during a German tour. “ Hitler, the idol of the people, appears to have done a great deal for Germany. The music of the drums could be heard in most towns, and I was told it was for their own protection.” It is an enigmatic statement, which may be illuminated by the latest anecdote from the hothouse of National Socialism and unsocial Nationalists. It is necessary to imagine that General Goering is visiting a factory, and has told the men they must speak openly to him. “Tell me where you stand,” GoerIng says to the grey-haired foreman. % I have been a Communist for many years,” is the reply. „ "And are you still a Communist. «* Yes/* « And are there many. Communists in this factory? ” Goering insists. “ Oh, only about 30 per cent, of the workers.” , ~, „ “Well, what about the others? “About 50 per cent, of them are Social Democrats.”. „ “And the remaining 20 per cent./ asks General Goering. . ~ . „ “ They are Christian Socialists. “ Then where are the National Socialists? ” inquires the Nazi leader, P 6“ all National Socialists,” several men smilingly reassure him. This story might be entitled; “How the Nazis obtained a 99 per cent, vote in the elections.” Nothing short of epic verse could honour the latest achievement of New Zealand. Strike up, sweet Muse: Love laughs at locksmiths, So ’twas said. To indicate great passion; Now that’s revised— Lovelock’s become The Internationa! fashion. And if anyone finds it easy to laugh that off, thqy can try their nerves on the following: There was a young champion called Cunningham, , . Whose competitors were merely dunning ’lm, Till he went to the track With a fellow named Jack Who knew all about races and running 'em. We seem to remember reading about how the members of the New Zealand Olympic team took off their straw hats, in salute of Herr Hitler. This victory seems the appropriate time for the Fuhrer to make a reciprocal gesture, provided he hasn.t been jumping on his hat. Of course, one expects exceptional spectacles at the Olympic games; nor need one be disappointed. For instance: The Australian was almost continuously on top for the first 13 min-' utes. Then Prokop’s nose bled and the bout was held up for five minutes while he received medical attention. Prokop continued, but after another three minutes, in which Scarf seemed completely ahead, the Czechoslovakian again received medical attention. Prokop lay resting on the mat for 30 seconds, and then rose. Ultimately, after 20mm 40sec, of which the Czech spent 304 seconds resting, the judges acclaimed him the winner. Prokop was so exhausted that he could barely have his arm raised as winner. Scarf had the mortification of having to assist from the ring his opponent, who had been given the verdict. There’s no doubt this is the sort of bout to make things interesting. And it provides more of a test of skill. There is much more finesse required of a wrestler, if he has to be careful to keep his opponent alive till the end of the match, so he can prop him up and congratulate him on winning, than if he is allowed to throw the poor victor about indiscriminately, and perhaps hurl him out of the ring, so he is not there to congratulate when he wins.

Personally, we think that too much attention is usually paid to the winning of matches, and not enough regard to the methods employed in winning. Down Texas way they use far greater ingenuity:

. . . One wrestler knocked himself out by putting his head into contact with an old-fashioned stove lid concealed inside his opponent’s trunks. ... On another occasion a wrestler filled his mouth with antiseptic and at an opportune moment blew it into the eyes of his unsuspecting opponent. . . . Another time, the wrestler concealed some pepper in his trunks, which he placed in the nostrils of his opponent . . . then the referee got some of the pepper in his eye. . . . Some members of the crowd by this time were seriously considering entering the ring, but the villain now got some of the pepper into his eyes, and his opponent, having recovered, promptly downed him, and the referee recovered just in time to award him the decision. ... A small hypodermic needle was removed from the hand of a wrestler in a Houston ring, it being alleged he was about to use it on an opponent. . . . This same villain . . . brought a tomahawk into the ring one night, but was disarmed. . . . This type of sport may be regarded as definitely exciting. It adds to that element of chance in the congest, which is the spice of life to the spectators. No longer need we look wistfully back to the hey-day of boxing, when the defender of the title would carry a horseshoe in his hand, to bring him luck, and the challenger would fill his gloves with powdered glass, to assure that he’d have sufficient grit. And let us not forget that there are material domestic advantages in a proper knowledge of the art of wrestling. Mrs John was granted a divorce from her husband, on the ground of assault and battery. Evidence was to the effect that when he , came home from seeing a wrestling match he practised holds on her, progressing from mild wristlocks to, finally, aeroplane whirls. Perhaps, as this case suggests, it may be that a man’s enthusiasm for the gentle art may exceed his discretion. But one might easily find it useful to be able to retaliate to chivvying on the home front by putting an effective stay to the proceed-

ings with a gentle headlock or a flying mare through the swing door of the pantry. “ A very interesting programme has been arranged by the city organist ... for his afternoon recital in the Town Hall to-morrow evening.” Commencing, no doubt, with the well known overture “ Morning Into Night.” The Minister of Finance in an interview outlined the steps which the Government had taken for the simplification of the income tax system. But what we want is a simpler way of obtaining the money to pay the tax. The public man states that number plates spoil the appearance of cars. Road hogs complain that they sometimes spoil the disappearance also, if the police are around.