"SEEKING A WIFE”

Otago Daily Times, Issue 22779, 15 January 1936, Page 4

"SEEKING A WIFE”

TO THE EDITOR Sir, —I read with interest a letter in your issue of the 11th inst., from One on the Shelf” complaining of her inability to secure a husband. Apparently your correspondent can only see one side of the question, as my difficulty has been that of getting a wife; one who sticks and has no frills. I am of the same age as “One on the Shelf,” and have had the unpleasant experience of suffering disappointment in my matrimonial adventure. Hence I know my subject, although I am not of the sentimental broken-hearted type, but my complaint with the modern girl is lack of fidelity, too many cigarettes and cocktail parties which have caused me not to be put on the shelf but to seek refuge there until our eligible girls get some sense. If "One on the Shelf” is innocent of this insensible way of living she need not, as yet, despair of getting down from her shelf.—l am, etc., A Mere Male. January 14. TO THE EDITOR. Sib, —I have noticed in your columns a letter inquiring why our girls are “ left on the shelf.” I am middle-aged, unmarried, and healthy, yet. although reasonably good looking, I either failed to impress the local girls or, in my opinion, they have too high an opinion of their charms and if they cannot get somebody in a very good position or with equally good prospects they leave the others cold, not being pioneers enough in most cases to leave their good homes with their people, and trust themselves to a poor, but honest, man. Moreover, through the

influence of films, etc., they set their standards higher than can be attained by the average man. Having travelled around the world and seen other girls in ether countries, I consider that a great many New Zealand girls are very fair examples of “ gold-diggers,” Still I should like to see those who are genuine have a chance to. meet equally genuine persons of the opposite sex, and for that reason would advocate the establishment of a bureau through which really respectable people might become acquainted.—l am. etc.. Resigned. ' Middlemarch, January 11. TO THE •EDITOR Sir.—ln response to the appeal of “ One On The Shelf,” I shall try to indicate some of the reasons why New Zealand girls lack proposals of marriage. In her own case, as disclosed in her letter, for an example, her chief deficiency seems to have been want of technique. She says in effect that she is not lacking in sex appeal, and this is borne out by the “ advances of men whose attentions were anything but honourable.” Where she failed by her bad technique was in not utilising these episodes to the best advantage and to her own ends. It can be generally accepted that quite a considerable proportion of present-day women look for these attentions, because if they arc not forthcoming they have to admit that they have no sex appeal—that is, if they are honest with themselves.

I f can, however, well imagine the reaction to these advances by “ One On The Shelf,” who seems to be of the “ school marm ” type, if not actually being of that profession. If she is “ well into her thirties,” that means that she has been brought un, as far as the romantic side of her nature is concerned, on the Annie S. Swan type of literature. Let me tell her, if she has not already found out, that the heros and fairy princes therein depicted have no counterpart in real life, and the time, if any, spent on looking for them has been entirely wasted. Many of her sisters are, like her. looking for the glitter while they pass by' the true gold.

Tnferentially, she admits that she received proposals up to the age of 22. This indicates in the sequel another false step. The- girl who is wishful to be married wants to get early in the field, for assuredly her chances diminish at an alarming rate as the years pass. Then she admits athletic exercises. This was against her, too, although it is a crying shame that it is so. But here again she was lacking in technique because athletic sports in which both sexes can engage are a most favourable field for the fruition of things matrimonial. Perhaps she chose the wrong kind of sport. Taken generally, the clinging type of girl finds more favour in men’s eyes than the athletic type for reasons that would take too much space to set out in this letter. The girl who wishes to be married must start young, while she possesses the bloom of youth. It is of no use, her saying “I am going to have mv fling, and do this, that, or the other thing and then I will marry.” Speaking generally the stumbling blocks of those New Zealand girls who fail to marry are; (1) They are too independent; (2) they are too particular; (3) they want too much; (4) they wait too long; (51 they are too stand-offish; (6) they have a poor “approach ”; (7) they dress so well that they look too expensive; and (8) they play with love and get “ left.” These are drawbacks seen in other places beside New Zealand; —it is a matter of degree. In conclusion, we cannot lay all the blame on the young ladies. The young men must bear their part too, and I have no doubt we shall hear about their deficiencies in due course. —I am, etc., January 14. Old Bill.