SUNSHINE AND SHADOWS OF COLONIAL LIFE

Otago Daily Times, Issue 21538, 9 January 1932, Page 12

SUNSHINE AND SHADOWS OF COLONIAL LIFE

Written for the Otago Daily Times. By Up Against It. t. ■ , I thought this world was a real giltedged, beautiful place after T had been here a short period. The ladies made a great fuss of me, calling me a little angel, a darling, and by other endearing aliases. I believed that I desefved it, but eventually they released me from their embraces and tokens of esteem, after I had emigrated from the cradle to the perambulator; also out of long clothes to short pantaloons. I went to school, and discovered that two added to another two made four, also the exact place where "William the Conquerox landed —a distance from here, and not at Port Chalmers. 1 We were,,short of ready cash at home, so I went out to look tor some, and nailed down -a job with a stipend of 5s per week, and sleep and dine at home. So I started to put on a bit of swagger and style; learnt a profession, after which I broke loose, and fled to the far north of this Dominion by way of variation. . I had a go at what is called gumdigging. Previously I had been warned that there is nothing in hard work. I am: sure there is something in it (after living in easy street all your lire), and looking at things across. the top ot a high collar, so . I fell back on. my base; and tried the genteel life again, but it was no use. The wanderlust hart arrived under my skin, so as Auckland s lights disappeared gradually as we steamed down the coast I went to', bunk with a lifebelt handy; and went into Gisborne later to another nice position where you are a member of a staff, and called “mister,” instead of Tom, Jack, or Hill in a gang. . Nice little place, Gisborne. I nearly got cremated there in a boarding hostel, but awoke in time to sidestep eternity, and it was somewhat similar out on the rolling deep in an open boat, but it is only the good that die V °Later I , drifted along as far as Napier, where .the sun shines, the breakers roar, sirens of the surf bathe in all their seminude glory on the Marine Parade, which has been shattered by earthquakes of late, and got a nice clean eight-hour job, in an office, where you had to wear good harness and a high collar, and put the neat tailormades on. which is only right, to keep your job safe. The high neck gear started to chafe my pale neck again, and, a circus arriving at the Hawke’s Bay centre, l eloped with it, to the accompaniment of the roars of the raging lions, the snarl and hiss of the striped denizens of the jungle, entitled tigers and leopards, and a reallj wicked-looking panther that displayed his upper and lower batteries of pearly white teeth, 1 as if anxious to have lunch with you. The elephants trumpeted aloud, the monkeys chatted and dined on peanuts, removed the yellow costumes from bananas and dined on them also. My boss was a Yankee, and lie could rig canvas with any man alive, and we took to each other like two lawyers to a divorce case, suit for damages, or a raking crossfire examination of the co-respondent charged with fracturing the moral law, and with. heart, home, and' bliss wrecking. The rank guessed, calculated, chewed tobacco, cussed, and was a great toiler. In addition to iliy duties of acting as second waiter, housemaid. and attendant generally, except grooming or buthiiig them of the fell-oil jungle and forest, I had the position, as his secretary, of reading his love letters from different parts of this globe of ours, as the American had not been schooled. He carried Cupid’s missives from long back, and I put a little dramatic effort into the iob, when he would close his eyes and smile as if going througu memories of other days, after which lie would dictate replies, then rush out in front of the gay-painted ticket wagon and yell: “All two shilling tickets this way. folks. Three shilling tickets.to the right, people,. to. see the greatest show, of the globe, marvels of three continents brought to your very doors, sure. The. world’s wonders that lick creation. Give us a match; partner. Yes. lady, children hallprice. We love the children, and the ponies, elephants, lions, tigers, and monkeys love to hoar the crash of the dinner gong. Stand back you boys,, and let the pretty dames get past you.” Then the hand would crash out a quick-step—rn-ta-la-ra-ta-boom! from the big drum, cymbols, slide trombone, second and

first cornets. The lights ablaze, the “ big top ” of the menagerie gaily lit up, and in the crowds would go, stalking the one-time residents of the jungle from behind iron bars with expressions of wonderment, then on to the big _ tent with the lady and gentlemen riders in _ skin tights, spangles, smiles, spine-thrilling acts, ard the old, faded mid-Victorian jokes of the clowns; dummies doing their silent turns, turning cartwheels and showing cleverness by appearing silly; all under the snowwhite canvas (as per advertisement). There is plenty of dash, sparkle, and excitement in the life, moving from town to town, and, honestly, I liked ; it. It is not respectable, of course, to some, but it is up to the Plimsoll mark in thrills, and as we moved through the North Island it was great, but the life is not easy. Still, the heads of affairs are considerate if you bog in and do your work. The prize thrill is when the lion tamer enters the den of man-eating beasts like Daniel is alleged to have done. He cracks his whips and puts them through their stuff as they roar aloud and jump through hoops and become displeased. If they show red and attack him, it’s all right; a long hot poker is pushed through the bars by the attendants arrayed in faded uniforms. Wonderful the fascination a circus has for some of the sex that got us evicted from the Garden of Eden. They would show around in droves, especially Maori maids. The pay was not great, but we increased our stipends by passing anybody into the show at reduced prices under the flap of the big tent when on guard to keep them out. The food was good, and most of the trapeze and other artists in mid-air and on solid ground were wedded and just as good as the best and worst of humanity. Hoop-la! There are worse jobs than around the sawdust ring, but I resigned from the position of confidential secretary to the gentleman from the land of combines and timbered hams, and, having written his final epistles of Cupid, stepped off the menagerie waggons at Wellington the Windy, said an revoir, and got a job as pot whalloper, so-called, in a restaurant up at early morn, and going for your life, when meals were sixpence a time, and the going was quick and lively. The lady-owner was a smart business woman, and eventually owned or ran an hotel business under the "same name as the eating palace, and was very good-hearted; no scholar, but could rake in the £ s. d The great thing is to hang on to it. I can't, if I want a thing I get it, as we won’t be here long—which reminds me I want a smoke, and will have one.

My Lady Nicotine never lets us clown. There will now be an interval of 10 minutes. Thank you! as the man in the vaudeville used to say. . . . Here we are again. Some time ago the writer of this got a flash through his brain as to what a God-send it would be if he could only discover a preventive and cure for cancer, the diabolical and cursed scourge of humanity in the world to-day. He thought and thought on the subject. Sent out a sort of S.O.S. for any sort of a solution to the curse. Like a flash one day I got the thought that if all the world would only concentrate at certain times on the subject and throw its mental energy on to a solution of‘this terrible mystery that appals mankind, the baffling problem would be solved. Thousands are working on the physical plane to get a solution by experiments of various kinds. Millions can help by a steady concentration of thought—prayer if you prefer that term —-and I positively know_ what the result will be. The solution will bo solved. 'The human brain is the greatest power in the world. I have studied along these lines for years, but for positive results it would have to be a united power at a certain given time, as they do throughout the world in respect for those who have passed on through the Great War. Throw your whole mental energy into what you want —demand it, as it were—and it will come if backed up by effort as sure as the sun will rise to-morrow morning. If you know of this great mental phenomenon drop this journal this minute and make a start, if only for sixty seconds. Hold these lines. Put them away carefully, and show them to others. Too wonderful to bo true, you say. Look here! 1 have witnessed what you would call super-miracles in this very room. Will I explain them? Certainly not! I would not he believed, and would even be ridiculed. 1 leave this matter iu the hands of people in a better position to handle it than one of the nobodies on the planet, as I happen to be. It is only a spark to start the tires of concentrated thought going (hrnughoiit the world. Take it or leave it. I am powerless to do more. It is a thankless job, anyhow.