BY THEIR FAITH.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 21264, 19 February 1931, Page 18

BY THEIR FAITH.

You know, of course, the cry of the psycho-analysts ? It runs, “ Tell me what you dream and ITI tell you what you are ”; but to my thinking, any char, acter can be far more truly defined by an honest response to “ Tell me what you believe of others.” For if you believe your best friend is capable of treaJicry, you are incapable of being anyone's friend, and you will have fewer and fewer friends as the years roll by. “ By their faith ye shall know them who have faith have faces that are serene; families who confide with the certainty that even a very delicate situation will be understood; friends who remain friends. The suspicious, on the contrary, walk alone as they should; and they are tendered lies instead of truth. Of course, they are egoists, who believe that they, alone, of all the world are capable of following the high road, and of knowing honour intimately. But the fact that they are egoists does not help the husbands of such. Not long ago I met a young wife who bore the air of a martyr. I knew something was wrong, from her resigned voice, her dramatically wistful eyes, and her wilted appearance. “What’s the matter?” I questioned bluntly, and she told me. Her “best friend” had told her that her husband had made love to a woman in his office, who had left his employ because of his unwelcome attentions. “Your best friend?” I probed. She nodded. Then I told her of what I would have done to such a “best friend.” I’d have shown her my door,” I said.

i The young thing’s eyes widened. I went on; I asked her whether the informer was noted for truth-telling, and whether experience had taught her that she should believe more in this friend than in her husband. She flushed deeply. It seemed the “best friend” had lied continually as a schoolgirl. “ Isn’t it possible,” I went on, “ that the girl who has been sacked for poor work might invent such a story in order to injure the man who dismissed her ? ” My young friend hadn’t thought of that.

“ What does your husband say ? ” 1 questioned next. It seemed he would say nothing; that he had “ simply frozen up.” Now that young wife, with her suspicions, had shown her husband that she was a poor, weak thing who was swayed by any little ripple; and she had told him, too, that she was not the woman to back him by giving him faith (and men need it, I think, even more than women); and she had shown him, too, if his was an analysing mind, that his trust in her was misplaced, for —what you can believe of others you can do yourself. I proceeded, being thoroughly disgusted and feeling like squeezing all the Juice from the subject. “Ellen,” I said, “if you follow the dark path to which your friends set your feeble, easily directed mind, you’ll end up by being one of those sharp-faced women, with cold, suspicious eyes, who closely watch their husbands, and are caustic and bitter if the poor male so much as says ‘ A pleasant day! ’ to another woman. The harmless little happenings that come his way he’ll learn to hide. He’ll know that you will misinterpret everything that occurs. He will live his life covertly—you will live yours miserably—and you should! ” You can see the husband’s side of it, of course. He has believed that one woman, at least, trusts him, and honours him as she promised to. He learns from her confession that the word of one of her best friends is stronger than his. Is it likely that he will love her quite as he did before? I think not. V There is a cure for the Ellens, and they should all be cured, for they turn the song of the world to a dirge, and they darken the brightest day. They take from others the feeling that someone believes and loves, and they make compromise for others an easy thing, for it is natural and easy to follow the measure of the expectations one feels, whether they be high or low. The cure is made by the Ellens turning the spotlight they have hiterto reserved for others upon themselves, to say: “I am believing this evil thing of one I love; what does this form of doubt tell me of myself?” ’ Ah, truly, “By their faith ye shall know’ them,” those of serene faces and kind eyes who help and who do not “hinder, who help to‘ build _ instead of shattering, who feel that it is better to suffer than to make suffering, and who thus learn to stifle their small—revealingly small —doubts. The man who knows the woman of faith knows shame if he compromises, but the man who knows the old Ellen, on the old Eve, thinks, wearily, “Well, she doesn’t believe me when I do go straight; I’ll give her something real this time to talk about!”. So, you see, if you have no faith in your friends or your husband, it all comes back on yourself—just as it should. —Home Chat.