“UNPARLIAMENTARY PAPERS.”

Otago Daily Times, Issue 19261, 27 August 1924, Page 5

“UNPARLIAMENTARY PAPERS.”

CAPTAIN R. BERKELEY’S BOOK. LATTER-DAY DRAMAS. (Fhom Ode Own Coreespokdent.) LONDON, July 19. Captain Reginald Berkeley, M.P. (previously of Fiji and Auckland), who first came into prominence by Iris authorship of the play “.French Leave,” has published one or two trifles since, but in bis latest work “Unparliamentary Papers and other Diversions” ho has certainly produced sometiling very much more substantial and ho may now claim to bo a prominent contributor to the lighter side of English literature. Captain Berkeley’s parodies and burlesques deal with a very wide range of subjects, and the fact that on this occasion he has gone outside the realm of politics makes the book much more interesting Olid valuable. Incidentally it shows that the author refuses to be a specialist and whomever be finds a subject containing humour ho will dare to make something of it. Military service in the next war, it seems, will bo a far different thing from 1914 to 1918. “The duty of the soldiers of the future is to consolidate the front behind the front. If others have to fall in the front line, drop a tear, good citizen, or. if you feel so disposed, drop two tears. But for the value of your country, and its final victory in the struggle, see to it that you are not the one who falls,”

“ I will. 1 will see to it with punctilious care. It is my duty; and I shall discharge it with (ho same devotion I displayed in the last war, when I rose from assistant warehouse clerk (graded as bombardier) in the E.F.C receiving shod, via R.T.O.’s clerk at, Boulavre (graded as staff sergeant of Musketry), assistant press censor (graded as squadron loader of cavalry, with rank of captain), and base commandant (graded as G. 5.0.2, but with-tho rank of colonel on the staff, and pay and allowances of a lieutenant-general), to the proud position which I occupied at the end. I havo nothing to complain of. ... I cannot deny that I had all kinds of obstacles to overcome. Ignorant prejudiced fools, blind to the interests of their country, were constantly endeavouring to comb me out. And to it will be in the next war. The earnest patriot will find himself thwarted and misunderstood at every turn. Nothing hut a knowledge of the niceties of the Medical Board will avail to defeat these busybodies. ” RESPONSIBILITY OF AN R.T.O.

“Many of us are indispensable. Until late in 1917, I was indispensable myself. And next, time I fully intend to bo indisr pensable all through the war. I shall get elected to some legislative body, say, the London County Council; and my devotion to do duty with the rest. But, of course, (n ease of mischance I shall be prepared with an alternative plan, several alternative plans in fact. And, in the last resort, I shall place my services at the disposal of the Director-General of Lines of Communication. After all, speaking as one who has already fought a campaign in that capacity, one has a sense of responsibility and power, even in the humbler posts behind the line, of which even Divisional and Corps commanders might be envious. As an K.T.O.'s assistant, one is conscious of a control over the destinies of others, that almost partakes of divinity. A motion of the hand, a word on a scrap of paper, and divisions and their baggage may he separated for ever; provisions consigned to one country may find themselves devoured In another; and generals waiting to begin a battle may awake on zero day to the fact that they have no forces except their staffs wherewith to fight. COMFORTABLE IN THE TRENCHES. Even on the grander scale there’ll nevex be room for more than a million or so U.T.O.’s all told (and that wFI! include the other side). Something's got ’to be done for the rest of us. There will come a time when everything useful has boon filled up, and there arc still people left over.

Well, we can’t all be satisfied in this world. It, was never intended that we should. And, so far as I can see, the overplus will have to make themselves comfortable in the trenches. It will be a galling thought to them that they’re poked away there out of everything, with no real work to do. But it doesn’t really matter, for we'll win the war all right.

Probably in that section of the book devoted to mock plays_ Captain Berkeley is at his beat. “Morality" in the manner of John Galsworthy is an excellent parody, but it hits hard at the Church’s attitude towards divorce. In an “endless ToneDrama in the Shavian manner’’ the scenes are carried forward through centuries and teons until the immortals—Dante, Cervantes, Shakespeare, and Shaw—are ail in their places. But, as one Shiney One proclaims, “Shakespeare has been giving trouble. He’s jealous of Shaw.” Eternity passes before the last act, and then Shaw is found on the steps of the eternal throne apologisng. “I’m really very sorry. It’s no wish of mine, you know.” The Eternal one replies apologetically and hands over the crown and sceptre of Heaven. “Not at all,” ho says. “li’s a pleasure to make this trifling acknowledgment of your genius.” IRREVERENT INTERVIEWS. Irreverent interviews are also held with Lord Balfour, Monsieur Briand, Mr Lloyd George, and with Lord Birkenhead. The interviewer finds the late Lord Chancellor settled negligently in a formidable wooden armchair, a prodigious cigar—Flor Monumento—protruded from the corner of his mouth. Intellectual intolerance was the distinguishing characteristic of his face. “The gentleman ushers, marshals, petty bag keepers, javelin men and other menials, who had heralded mo into the presence bowed themselves obsequiously out., I sat down nervously on the edge of a chair. He eyed mo with a freezing compound of disdainful curiosity and disfavour. Abashed out of' countenance, I slipped out of my hands and fell on the floor with a faint thud. It seemed that it would only add to the solecism if I began groping about on the floor for myself—l made up ray mind that I would let, myself lie where I had fallen, until he wasn’t looking; but, somewhat to my surprise, he picked me up in the most courtly manner, dusted me, and restored me to my chair. “ ‘Don’t be alarmed,’ he said reassuringly. ‘lt’s the look that does it. No witness has over resisted it yet. They used to curl up, and go limp, and lean over the side ol the box, when i began my cross-examinina tion; and it has not yet lost its power.’ ” THE CELEBRATED SNEER.

A slight effort at a joke at the Lord Chancellor's expense makes an opening for invective: — . “No doubt,” ho said icily, "no doubt in the purlieus of Tooling Beo or Brockley, whichever you inhabit, remarks of that kind pass current as wit. I daresay, among cannibals and anthropoid aoes, there is to be found a rough sense of course buffoonery that is tickled by such vulgar exuberance; but, among the artistooracy of an old civilisation, your behaviour would provoke pity, rather than mirth, were it not that, with us, the impudence of a scavenger is accounted a more anxious thing than his trade—” “Really,” I began. “I must protect—” “What? Argument?” ho cried harshly. Ho smote a bell. An old and trembling man dodde-red into the room. He pointed dramatically. “Remove it.” ho ordered. ... I judged it best to remove myself. Captain Berkeley has intimated to the Central Nottingham Literal Association that ho will not seek re-election for the division, for which ho was first returned in the Liberal interest in November, 1922.