PASSING NOTES

Otago Daily Times, Issue 14359, 31 October 1908, Page 6

PASSING NOTES

I{ dulnp-5 wore a mnrbtsililo commodity, wo should he rejoicing just now in ail embarrassment o£ richcs. From tli« Government' etiunp in c.irli constituency the (Jovenimeufc gramophone grinds out machine-made sjieecliM supplied from Wellington, all to ono pattern. Day by day and every day drones on with the clackclack of .1 mill-wheel the No-licenac controversy. What Fnlstaff would call its d,unliable iteration is more than even the audiences of Mr Isitf can stand. To save them a universal dislocation of jaw bv yawning ilr hitt ilivoryes iiilo recitations of " The Raven," an unlucky selection. To the demand for "respite, respite, and nepenthe" from an intolerable bore, answers the refrain, itself a damnable iteration:

Quoth the Raven, .Never morel Then, to cap all, comes the Synod season, the Anglican Synod—a very uynonym for decent dulnees —leading the. way. Had it been the Presbyterian .Assembly, with the prospect of a heresy hunt and wigs on tho green, we could have held up. But the Anglican Syncd on Canon A, Title B, Section C. Appointment of Churchwardens, is tco cruel for average human patience.

A praiseworthy attempt to galvanise life into the Anglican Synod was made by the Hew Mr Snow, (ircatly daring, Jlr Snow introduced the subject- of Theosophy. Here was indeed an opportunity. There exists, and must, be purchasable in Dunedin, I fancy, A shilling pamphlet entitled, "Isis Very Much Unveiled: The Story of the Great Makitma Iloax." With tiliis text-book in hand the Synod might have spent a profitable weak, earning the public gratitude and half-writing my Pas.?, ing Notes for me. But, alas, this great opportunity war> neglectcd. With fatuous indifference the Synod passed by resolution to the next " order of the day " —Cation A, Title B, Section C, nr> before. The only other noteworthy fact I find in the. record of this Synod is that ono clerical member present had been offered' £1000 a year, and that another had been offered £600 a year, to unfrock thcmselv.cs for secular life. Something connected with the brewing interest and No-license, for or against, may we, guens? There is no certainty; the vision is not clear. More definite, and intrinsically more remarkable, was ail autobiogritphical revelation that fell from a country clergyman :

lie might tell Ihem that ho had been a, ( -.nercial man at one time, and when a nu-roiiant on his own account lie never made less than £1000 per year. When lie decided to lake lioly orders lie hod four years of hard reading;, during which his total expenses amounted to about £2000. At tho present time he serves the Church for how much? £150 a year? Likely enough. Tire Eirly Christians had less.

From the nature and cost of his education a Parliamentary candidate somewhere North draws ail odd and unexpected inference :

He was indebted to the State for his education by moans of scholarships. Ho had been nb'e to pass through the High School and the University. Those scholarships had cost the Siaie £320, and, capitalising that sum at 5 per cent., he calculated that the State had vested, £6400 in him, and he considered it his duty to devote such abilities as lie possessed to the service ot the public in return for what the public had done for him.—(Applause.) He therefore offered his services as their representative in Parliament. This reasoning msvy be extended: Il'.it. Gaol, Duncdin. To the Electors of Dunedik Central, Ladies nnd Gentlemen,—lt has occurred to roe that my education, (irsl and last, has cost the State a pretty penny. I begun as an inmate ot an 'Industrial School maintained by the Stale. Launched upon life, I immediately required the attention of several ablebodied policemen at. lCs a day and upwards, a Stipendiary magistrate at £000 a year, and his clerk, say, JKSO. It took a judge at .-OI.TO a year and a- pension to sentence me, and his Honor sat in a bniMing which must have cost, 1 suppose, at least £20.000. JLli. Gaol, where I r.ow reside, is also a costly structure; whilst the Xfocd and nttc;:dr.ncc, though pel lisps not a!! that I could wish, arc entirely at the public expense. Capitalising at 5 percent. my annual cost to the State, 1 calcn'si'.c that it. would run into many thousands of pounds, and I fsel it my duty io devote such abilities as I possess io the soiviee of the public in return for what the public has done for inc. My antecedents qualify me for political life; my affinities are with the present Government; the £300 a year and pickings would suit me excellently; I shall he out before the day of nomination; I therefore offer my services as your representative in Parliament.

I have rsad many an election addro.se .loss frank limn thi', with lass of sanity in it and Iks of hor.flsiv.

"May I assmv) 'Civis' Hint I am slill p?rfeot!y calm?" asks the Rev. James Clarke after half-a-rolumn of shrinks and grim'.:cc,s exhausting t-lia* resources of the

imolyp?. (A typographical shriek, lis it umleinlooil, i.-vthe exclamation marl;—!—; a grimace is the underscoring that throws tip a word into capital letters.) Nothing lass than shrieks and grimaces avail to express .Mr Clarke's emotions; and at the end lie wants to know Whether 110 may assure me that lie is =till perfectly calm, lie may. I will lalte hi:-, word for it, ii he jays so. Mr Clarke, we arc to understand then, is calm, perfectly calm—flat calm, as a sailor would say. Indeed, Ilia 11 hi? Jcller nothing could lie Hatter.

Too dull for laughter, for reply too mad. The line is Pope's, and it comes in pat; for this egregious Mr 'Clarke imagine.' that amongst- his enemies is Mrs " Cms," not- only "Civis" himself, but Mrs

" Civis," who, for reasons good, lias been ab.-o.nt from Urn* Notes fur many a month, and, 1 fancy, is not so much as aware of Mr Clarke's existence. "For reply too mad," again, is a comment on a remark of mine about i 110 Oam,aril Presbytery';: lone of moral indignation over Mr Gibson Smith and his book "We might suppose that ho had forged a cheque or stolen a horse." Whereupon, Mr Clarke: " A horse," Sir. might lis bought for ±15 or £50, and thr.i is xotiiisu. What "The Christ of the Cross" 'attempts to do is ixfinitbly more,, and ikfimitp.lv woiise. In fact, £50 wouldn't- look at it. Here's prosaic fl-.itn.css for you!—thir example may lake the cake. Dismissing Mr Clarke—slill calm, lei- us liopo—l would remind him (his education not having been neglected) of the fallacy in logic known as pel-itio principii. Why so hot against poor Gibson Smith? Because Gibson Smith is against. " Paul and the Prophets." That is tlio petilio principii. Mr C-larko assumes the point in dispute.

Someone fends n« copies of a serial publication entitled " Grievances From Ireland," apparently a Unionist summary from month to montli of Irish arguments for Moms Rule, the said arguments being th-s boycott, fire-raising, thooting outrages, cattle-driving. It makes melancholy

reeling. The boycott alone is sufficient to reduce Ireland to savagery. There are districts in which incidents such as this are the incidents of every day: I'oso'.ulicii plissotl by the Bnllvsokoery Branch of ihe U.I.L. on May 24: "That wo congratulate the Iccnl smith, on bis manly action in refusing to shoe Mrs Lir.ds.ay's licrsc,, and wo call upon the oilier blacksmiths in tho district to icUow his example, not alone as regards Mrs Lindsay, but nil other graziers and crabbers."

However. I do not argue Homo Rule, for ov against. Tile fact I wish to note is that- -Mr John Redmond and llr Devlin are currying round the bat in America, and that a similar money-questing mission may he expected in Australia and New Zealand. According to the Fail Mall Gazette this bokiny lo the ends of the e.irtli for the sinews of war is unnecessary, and a thing to be reprehended. Ireland is not the poverty-stricken country it would make, itseii nut. to he. The four and a-half millions of Irish people have £60,000,000 on deposit in savings bank. s , spend £13,000,000 a year on drink and £3,000,000 on tobacco. Moreover, s-'iiyr. the writer, " there always appears to bo plenty of loose cash about when itcomes to a question of horse-racing or of building a new church," O'C-onncill never had to look outside Ireland for the fuiaxicial basis Ql bis Re-

peal movcme'il—a- Istr more extensive and formidable movement thsu any Mir Redmond will ever organise. And Ireland is far more prosperous to-day (linn in O'G'mmell's (im.i. Yet tho modern Nationalists are so niggardly in (ho causa of Homo Rule that (heir leaders have to tramp the world begging [or the means to carry en their work.

These arc tilings to remember when the next Nationalist bogging mission is afoot,

Homo Rule for Ireland is a question between Ireland and the rest of the Empire, and the rest of the Empire finds it an uuspeakalile bore. There is a humorous side to the great argument, hut for that you must, turn to the arguing of Irishman with Irishman, Whichever his side, whether for or against, to an Irishman there is in the everlasting Home Rule debate the " hoigiit o' divarshon." The London Spectator reviews a Memoir of Colonel Saunderson, M.l\, who was a Protestant, an Orangeman, a fighting Unionist from that part of Scotland called the North of Ireland. Nobody dealt more deadly blows at the Nationalists; yet, strange to say, the Nationalists never disliked him. "He was a fighting man after t!:eir own heart, and in an odd way they were as fond of him as of their own leaders." What chiefly helped him was his Irish gift of humour. Humour, good, bad, and indifferent, WJM ever bubbling up. Sometimes it took the form of schoolboy jokes, like inviting a stentorian Irish orator to " speak lip." Sometimes it was admirable farce, as when lie asserted that Mt O'Brien, who lia:l won a. martyr's fame by his refusal to wear the prison trousers, should have his halo round his legs instead of round his head. lie had a fine gift of repartee, as when some Nationalist invited him to join their pjrtv, and promised him a high place. "Yes,'' he said, "with a nine-foot drop underneath." He had an eye for a dramatic situation, as when lie assigned 85 reasons against Home l'lile, and turning to the Irish members said, " There they sit below the gangway." "Ho could floor an opponent with a tremendous philippic," adds the reviewer, " but there was jw malice either in his jests or his aj>use, mid he made no enemies." Would that a Colonel Saundevson were granted to us in New Zealand ! He might be of any political colour, or of none; on either side of the House he would be equally welcome. Civis.