HOLIDAY JOURNEYING.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 14156, 7 March 1908, Page 6

HOLIDAY JOURNEYING.

ON THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS.

.By H, .1. A.

At last we gained our carriage, deposited our numerous parcels, our sticks, our boxes, our bags, ns best we could in the already- overcrowded racks and corners, doffed our hats, mopped our perspiring brows, and squeezed ourselves on to the seat, callously indifferent as to the effect our pressure .might have upon a stout, full-faced individual on the one 6ide and a dapper bank clerk upon the other. The night was sultry. In the scramble for tickets, the pushing and jostling for access to tho carriage, and the hurried disposal of our luggage, we had had no time to comment upon that very obvious mattor; but, as we settled ourselves with an eye to comfort, tho fact of wiping our brows was a sufficient justification for venturing the remark, " Phew! it is warm."

It was holiday time) and the platform was thronged with the usual crowd of holiday-makers. We turned on our scat and looked forth ou the varied and kaleidoscopic scene on the platform. AH was bustlo and seeming confusion. The train was already some seven minutes late, and the staff was sweating and toiling to despatch it with as small a handicap as possible. Porters rushed by with a harsh "By your leave," scattering group after group unceremoniously before the trolley laden high with holiday impedimenta. An anxious youth called futilo questions after, a panting porter. A foppish young man, gorgeously attired in a loud twoed, a straw hat, and a starch fence—a living apostle of " dudeism,"—in a voice of oh! ah! such lang-u-or inquired of whoso would listen where tho labels for Jericho (or sqihe other place) might be found. A cjiolerio individual, oxuding moistuve at every pore, who waylaid with inconsequential queries the guard, wbo was hurrying by—was accorded concise replies—the railway" service 15 hot conducive to undue loquacity,—and the perspiring person, spluttering remarks as pointed in manner as terse m expression, fumed on:his way. It was no time for supercilious obsequiousness on the part of the staff. Theyihad a work to do, and they must do it at cny price. All else was sacrificed to the -me end: the.train must be gbt away. The only person \ who retained a semblance of coolness was the supreme official, the, stationmoster, immacuCate in blue and gold. Not a frown disturbed the calm serenity of his. countenance. When he spoke, it was in a tone of icy finality, Against that cold 'reserve the most voluole impetuosity broke in frothy bubblings. ;

We were watching'wjth interest this personification of official dignity when suddenly we saw ■ a figure, rushing headlong, bumping and being bumped, making with (i singleness, of. aim straight for the standing carriages. His meteoric flight was watched in > amazement. He was a thin annjiriic-looking young many attired in . ft' dress which would hayo been more fittingly displayed upon a.man with some physical' pretensions, but. which, upon him,'- served only, the more glaringly to betray the shortcomings of Nature in his construction. His legs were of an extraordinary length and an amazing thinness. lAnother such man of qur acquaintance is familiarly dubbed "Tongs."' Despite the manifest drawbacks of wch'an attire, that young man was, if you 1 please, dressed in Whoever advised him to patronise stich apparel was a humorist! I In one ariji he bore two large parcels, and hanging from his fingers was a bag of fruit—ripe strawberries, us ivas Ehortly to be seen. In the hand, of -the other he carried an aristocratic walking-cane. Being momentarily, blocked by a passing group, he turned hurriedly, dashed, round its flank, and cannoned violently into the dignified arid austere-looking stationmaster. The parcels- flew one way; the bag' of fruit went another. The latter burst open, and from it there rolled across the'platform luscious strawberries. " Confound it, sir j what the dickens '". burst forth .'in ,a fierce tone from the lengthy youth, only,, however, to die away, in a deplorably minor key as he'met ihe steady eye of tho official. "Well, sir!" said the latter in an icily interrogative manner, , and the' thin young man grew addedly nervous, whilst we wickedly hugged ourselves in enjoyment of his confusion. There was a pause and a suggestion of sniggering in the background. A charitable observer, however, had the compassion. to baud the victim his parcels-strawberries excepted,— and, thus recalled, he murmured, by way of apology, " Beast of ahurry," kicked the bag and.its remaining contents viciously, thereby spattering his tan boots ludicrously and to ,an accompaniment of smilings- 1 - yisible and audible, too—scrambled ignominiously aboard. ' ■ ' '' Gradually the platform • became less: crowded. The luggage w* now stowed in and the porters banged the doors to as a fitting finale. to their strenuous labour, The stationinaster raised his hand, the' bell tolled, a. whistle .blew, strident voices called raucously " Stand clear, please," and with an abrupt 'jerk the train; tightened after the'straining engine. "<■■•'•; ; - ',''.'■■■

It were needless to tell how heads stretched forth, hands waved, and good wishes ran leaping from lip to lip as those who had not the pleasure (?) of travelling by the, midnight .express bade their departing friends good cheer; < This is' an everyday occurrence, this, parting—common;' yet never commonplace. With sonorous snortings the engine swung on, and, gathering way, swept us out of visual Tange of the glaring lights of the station. We turned inward, closed the window, resumed our seat, and prepared to, make ourselves .as comfortable as adverse circumetances would permit. A midnight express is not a pleasure-giving experience—in. fact, it is usually spoken of as being ih the nature of an affliction'; but it is an immensely popular, affliction. It saves time.

■ We glanced round and took stock of our fellow travellers. It was just an ordinary 'carriage, but there w«6 more than the ordinary number of people in it. The majority of its occupante; were 'young fellows, , seemingly bent upon' tasting the delights of camp life—a masculine knickerbockered crowd. A noisy group laughed uproariously; plans were, discussed and anticipations of a jolly time were expressed, j It was a clean-limbed' athletic crowd in the main: no loquacious feminines,. no bawling infants—for that let the midnight express be thanked, Ere long,' preparations began to be made for, the exercise of the best of all time-killers —sleep,—whilst a few of the more wakeful produced books, magazines, or papers. A person whose acquaintance the reader: has already made—the unfortunate victim of the strawberry' incident—we at length espied in a far : off corner. He was preparing to follow the example of many of his fellows. His dispositions were most simple. He leaned back in the angle, drew his hat over his face, and with wide-open mouth entered into the realm of dreams. Snores rose fast on the heated air. There ■was rather a pleasing variety in their reverberating roll. Our 6tout friend, whom we had endeavoured to compress a little in advancing our claim for, a portion of the seat, possessed what might be termed a strongly individualistic snore. It rose gently with his intaking breath; it climbed gradually from a deep bass and with varying cadence culminated in an effective little snort; which done it de-' ecended by exhaustion in a series of soft gurglings to its former plane. It was the snore of a 'stout, well-fed person—the snore of one who was not to be bustled, not to be easily ruffled, one who took life easily and slept 'witb a clear conscience or—no conscience at all I On the other 6ide, in contrast, the dapper bank clerk contributed to the monotone a snore as affected and weak as the. owner; while opposite a healthy labourer slept.the sleep of the tired. Besides these there were to be distinguished by an acute ear a thin snore, a thick snore, a clear snore, a muffled snore, a trumpet snore, a sharp snore, and a gurgling snore—snores of all kinds and conditions, of all shades and strength of volume. But to return to our friend in the corner: Whatever other accomplishments that young man may have among his attainments, to the possession of at least one in a highly developed state we can conscientiously' testify. He could snore. He had a , •peculiar snore, As soon »s be got fairlj

into Ins stride, to use a racing term, that one snore dominated the carriage. It reverberated through its entire length, rising above the others in a high crescendo. It was such n snore as would make glad the heart of Bill Sykes. Your burglar is fond of a heavy snorer. • We confess we—together with those other's who had not yet joined the ranks of tl» sleepers—gazed at the performer in. surprise which deepened into wonderment as 4 we noted his whole frame heaving and * subsiding to the strength of that tremendous snore. Wo were amazed that such a frame could support such a strain. Others watched and wondered too. A trifle lower down on the opposite sido of the aisle was a whimsical little fellow. Our eyes met. ile jerked his shoulder in a deprecatory manner and in dumb pantomimic show indicated the motion of placing a clothes* peg upon his nose. More than one dc- .' voully wished that some person would have the courage to utilise that repressive', instrument. But, in this prpgrijastvo country a man's nose is his own property, ■ Does a man desire to snOre? There is no ■'. law to the contrary. We blessed! and endured.

And the train thundered on through the . black night, bearing its freight of wakeful, sleepy, and slumberous humanity. With a rush, a roar, and a rattle the devouring giunt ate up space. The.flying wheels clanged and clanged again, rising anon to a stuttering chatter. Now we dashed over a culyort, and the key changed to a higher note, endured'an infinitesimal second and we were past, but under and through all was a deep-toned roaring accompaniment. Now we crashed through a cutting, and the muffled roar of the.flying train was.; flung back from the walls, intensified ." tenfold. Again we plunged into; the, dark, depths of a .tunnel,- the change in the .fly-' ing song of the wheels, their louder,clang. '. upon the metals, together with the thin ■■'• wieps of smoke—-indubitable-.evidence-creeping through varied: orifices' .in the roof, sufficing to inform us of the fact. With a bound the open was gainedjfand the nqisesome tunnel left behjhc), ■ The wheels resumed their incessant repetition— dickety otack—buinp, bump,--click, clack. The carriage rocked and swayed with the bounding speed, In all the world' there was. but one thing,, and ''that, was' speed. Nothing mattered but speed. ' .' ' It had been a hot day, a stemming'hot day. The night was scarcely Iqss endurable. The clouds hung low, and seamed to hinder the cooling of the earth, shutting ' in the heat as in a.ilwc; Wo rubbed the steamy windows and looked 'forth. No stars could be seen.., The didl grey amorphous mass of the clouds was just dia- J tihguishable above the black shadow pf the aartJi. Away on..the horizon the rising moon struggled feebly to pierce that misty , mantle, and succeeded in shedding but. a dim twilight over a small portion of'the whole. Ahead the funnel beJched smoke, and, rounding curves, we could, see the fireman feeding the insatiable maws of tho ""•. fiery! furnace; and the red flaniea leaped ahd,danced with momentary freedom,only : , to be again imprisoned like a bound giant. The forced draught threw>a glaring gieam on the tolling smoke, lighting it up; with an evanescent g'.oi'y. Our eyes danced sore with the rocking buzz of the carriage and the crashing thunder of the fleeting wheels. We-yearned for peace, rest—anything. A creeping drowsiness stole-near.' We yawned tremendously, and there ca.me —oblivion,

A clarion voice v called, .'•'Change Here for P-—." We;were' in that state be-', hvixf, waking* and dreaming, but th»t dominant voice effectually dispelled all, lingering sleepiness.lnstanter tie were' on our.feet, seized our boxes, bags, everything, and' in the dull drab, grey of early' dawn stood on the bare platform. Our teeth chattered with the damp cold'after' . the; unhealthy steamy warmth of' the carriage. And .the midnight ..-express, steamed off and vanished in the enveloping drifting mist.' -y"\ '.:,'■ ;