PASSING NOTES.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 11191, 13 August 1898, Page 2

PASSING NOTES.

The members oi the Dunedin Ministers' Association have small faitb in their own preaching. Gambling, they affirm, is a sin. ?n act of robbery, an offence against elementary morality, a crime against society . Yet to put it down they invoke the intervention of a secular league ot all citizens. What is this but a confession that they themselves as preachers have failed to put down this sin, this robbery, this offence against elementary morals, etc., etc., and that they expect still to fail? Do they knowwhy they have failed? I have no objection to tolling them The cause is no secret. They have failed because their habit is to confound things that differ, lumping together under the one horrific designation " gambling all varieties of excitement that turn on games of chance and skill, excitements entirely innocent with excitements indefensibly 'mischievous. Doing this, they naturally fail to persuade their people that " gambling' —what they mean by " gambling " —is sin at all. Suppose I ask the Eev. Mr North to make a fourth in a whist quartet,—shilling points; "a clear fire, a- clean hearth, and the rigom of the game"? Or the Rev. Dr Waddell to join me in a friendly bout at backgammon?—-Mr Gladstone's nightly recreation, by- the way, was backgammon. O*- the Rev. Mr Saunders to accept a seat afc my,.next progressive euclwe party? . I fancy I see the scandalised phizes of these good men —Puritans out of their century—at proposals so audacious. And yet better meu than they have been wont to do such things and think no harmj The Puritan moralist —Baptist, Presbyterian, Anglican, what not—insists that a bazaar raffle is uo better than, a sweep on the Melbourne Cup And when you have proved that a bazaar raffle is no better than a sweep on the Melbourne Cup you have proved that a sweep on the Melbourne Cup is no worse than a bazaar raffle ; —and then where are you? Exactly where we all ars now—helpless in presence of a great and grievous social evil. Thanks mainly to ' the muddle-headed rigour of our spiritual •pastors and masters.

Another contribution to the iharbour question : —

Dear Civis,, —Chatting with me an old shellback shipmate, who has a dredge on tho Jlolyneux, abou!- the Victoria Channel, made an excellent suggestion. " Let your Harbour Board," said he, " buy £50,000 Worth of golddust, then scatter it in the channel, and invito tendors for rescuing it by dredging. These would be accepted, say, at 3d per yard, in order to obtain the gold. At this price it would pay handsomely, and a good channel .would be made." Tins seems practical, and, Captain. Cuttle does not forward it as ironical.

'A great idea, truly, and worthy of my serious attention had not a greater ousted it from the first place m .my thoughts. I scarcely need explain that .'I. refei to " The Motlodi's " delightful letter in the Times of Wednesday. Only let Captain Cuttle study the gorgeous scheme laid dowu therein, and, generous heart that he is, he will at once acknowledge its superior genius. He will perceive that it absorbs and perfects his or his fellow shellback's plan, rendering a discussion of it useless. He would Kave-.t-he Harbour Board spend £50,000 in salting the Victoria Channel, as the immortal Thomas Sawyer salted the garden he was disinclined to dig, and sell the dredging rights to the eager gold-seekers, who would leav* their old love the Clutha, and rush to make their fortunes in the bay. ''The Motlodi" asks no such expenditure; ior is not his canal a work of national importance? —which let the Government undertake. Quite right, say I The sale or leasing cf the canal frontages would go far to repay the outlay——right againl The railway difficulty that is troubling .the Hon. Mr Cadman would be solved quietly along with the great work; the water supply difficulty, also. That, too, could be made a matter of national concern, for what would Parliament be minus the Otago contingent? And what'would that contingent he without water of certified purity to temper their quid ScottiS; bar ley-bree? Lastly, is uot the Taieri a gold-bearing river? Could not the; Harbour Board, unmulcted of their £50,000, induce the eager dredger to complete their joys by paying his 3d per yard for the privilege of hunting his small deer in the basin where the canal would he considerate enough to drop it?

For all reasons, humanitarian and other, it is well that the curtain is to be rung down on the Spanish-American Wax, one reasrm cf not least importance being that the war was becoming a bore. ' Its results, foreseen, inevitable, escited no curiosity. At- first there,seemed a chance of an instructive object lesson in modern naval war; since that chance passed nobody but the cable "companies had any-motive to wish' the contest prolonged. I apologise to the Americans for supposing, on the faith of telegrams, that the naval fight off Santiago was a hollow afiair—racing, chasing, confused" firing, and not one good shot got in on either side. Therein, as the mail news shows, I was mistaken. If a big "butcher's bill" is anything to be proud of, the Americans had whereof to boast .at Santiago, both ashore and afloat. Though bound to win in the end. it is. lucky for them, that the Spanish collapse has oome so soon. Just a littlfe more of toughness in their adversary and they must presently' have discovered, both in Cuba and the Philippines, that they had caught a Tartar. Yellow fever and typhoid have reduced the invaders at Santiago to such a plight that they are barely able to march down to their transports; in the Philippines, the natives—and there fiTA ~;- millions of them —are impartially hostile to both Spaniards and Americans. In short, our cousins are well out of it—if out of it they are—at tttie stage: henceforth, in debating 'with us any new Venezuela trouble, or the like, they will be the more cousinly for their experiences, painful and costly, in this brief rough and tumble in-estle with the Don.

What is a balneologist? ' "Ministers in reply to questions stated that the position of balneologist for Rotorua had been offered to a competent person at a salary of £800 per annum,, but he would not accept the position unless he were allowed to charge fees for advice"—that looks like the law. now • is it a new variety of barrister, I wonder?—" to which proposal the Government could not agree, and the negotiations for '*■'" engagement of a balneologist were still pending." What is a balneologist? My dictionary is discreetly silent on the point, and it is a highly respectable dictionary, too—conld it be otherwise and mine? A somewhat light-minded friend suggests that it is a man in pyjamas who stands by the water and jumps in to reassure the patients as to the temperature. Ido not think that sort of man would occupy the attention of even so undignified a House as ours, nor upon further thought, do I think the salary commensurate.with the service: £800 per annum.is much too small a sum to tempt a man to make a thermometer of himself eight hours a day. The word is evidently niade up of neologist and a prefix bai- I find "neologist" signifies one who introduces either new terms, a literary comer, ov one. who -makes a new departure in theology. " Bai-" doubtless is an abbreviated form of ."bally." a familiar expletive, the term then being the equivalent of "bally neologist." So far my etymology takes me; but what the Government warit with a gentleman of this particular profession, T cannot guess—unless, unless it is to advise them on the famous clause •in Mr Seddon's Technical Education Bill. He might be easily worth the money 1

An anti-Seddonite whose indignation has effervesced into poetry sends me the composition given below. A poor thing, Sir, but >"<; own' I thousrht at first of touchins up ihe scansion and making other imnrovempnts : but no!— Why should I? Lon.T observation of the verses published (at 2s 6d a verse, I believe) under the heading "In Memoriam" in the Births, Deaths, and Marriages department has convinced me that scansion in poetry is of small importance. The language of emotion is superior to form. Like necessity, it knows 1.0 law. Lines that limn or sprawl, regard-

''•=s of metre, are abh' somehow to yield a sweet satisfaction to the writers of them, «md, apparently, may count on a public that finds in them no offence. So I have ceased '~.™ t" " practice of patching up draggletailed poetry. Let it go! Let heart speak to heart, though in groanings that cannot be uttered. In this present case the writer's sentiments do him honour-; for his "poetry' he on-lit to be What shall I say? At least I will ask the printer to put him in his very smallest »■— •>«.

While Mr Duthie vvas addressing the House m the early part of tht; session a voice from the Government benches was heard to call out "Rave -,v-il."- '

Have Away. Have away! v.-hal care wo for your cautions and ' warniug;—. . '•' \ve aro living in clover, we make hay while it' shines. V''hile cash can be handled by pledgings and pawnings, We can buy strong support on true Tammany lines. Rave away! rave away! 'liave awny! we have collared the cute agitator, Tho unions are like potter's clay in our hands: A reckoning day may, p'raps, come along later, But we only care for our Kichard's commands. : Bave-away. 1 rave away I . What about Sir G'corge Grey's new-enfranchised elector? Has he no regard-for th-e colony's weal? Oh! wo tell hini the thxeatcned smash-ups a mere spectre, And we'll hound tho employer—make capital squeal. Rave away! rave awayl Rave away! if a fortune Dick ruthlessly collars ;: _ „. • , For a new talking-shop on Wellington s heights, , Our answer-is: "Watson is blueing the dolTn building a temple for coves to fly kitC3." Rave awayl rave away! VilUlie time e'er return to this fair land when honour ~'..'.,, V '_ - ' And conscience and justice will lawmakers ■\Viif Unew Swainsons, FitzGeralds, Dometts, lavish on her ,-,.-■ ' -, 4U Their, liigh-souled devotion and sympathy wide? r - . ■ ■ , ' - , Then shall self-seeking vanish, and no member will say To the fair, honest critic Rave" away 1- rave away 1 The ' devil seems to have deserted bis Sartorial friends and taken up his; let us hope temporary, dwelling-place with the Linotypists. Consider this literary specimen, 'culled but a day or two ago from the war uews : — ■ /■ . — even this little isb-nd would be able to pay us directly in dollars aiid "cents in the course of ii few years ull that the war. has cost. And from this mental process business men in New York reason that this Government will do an idiotic thing if it lets either of these possessions slip" • will do an idiotic thing if it lets either of these possessions slip." Is it not admirable? iN eve, Was the tremendous force attained by repetition shown to better advantage. When I dropped on the piece I cite. 1 thrilled with the fond hope that once more Maoriland was to tho fore, and that another —who could doubt a greater?— Whitman was about to burst upon.'the world. 7. Walt Was a comp, you know.•'■ and helped -to print his own first book,! tie " Leaves of Grass," that was received by an unthinking public with mingled mirth and execration, yet; lived, and will live. - I watched for further signs of our local Walt, and presently I noticed a like repetition in a paragraph of,lndian news. It was much less forceful, and I smiled at the rash handling of a powerful weapon that betrayed the unpractised s<ddier. A day or two later came this lemarkatle piece of work : — - There is Mr Morrison, io} joqraain sqi om\' '■jou ure j „ •aou-B_|sui ioj Wellington, in the habit of receiving offers of money to square me.!' —which yet might be the fruit of humour, a quality mankind cau never be too thankful for—is not procedure in the House all topsy-turvy?—l still hati hopes. Then eamo the final'blow,'this.marvellous bit of literature : — The references in-the clause to the inspector and auditor were struck out, and, the clause restricted to the president only on .the motion of the Premiei:. -The clause, a aesnemdd emfwypshrdestdhsrrii and. I recognised my error. No avatar of >enius this time, but the pranks of some fiend pn furlough, Were responsible for the whole business: New Zealand still awaits her literary star. ". 'I i -. Civis.''