PASSING NOTES.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 9481, 16 July 1892, Page 5 (Supplement)

PASSING NOTES.

(From the Otago AVitness.)

Thk peculiar method of voting by which the Council elected tbeir new President needs explaining, particularly as respects ils why and wherefore. 1 proceed, therefore, to explain it. You see, every voter was also a omdiilite, There were two or three whe professed otherwise, but of course professions of I bur. hind don't count. Every man in tiie Coin.cil was prepared to assume the duiici of President,—if elected. This being so, unti the voting being secret, thore was the distinct peri! thnt eaoh man would vote for himself, and that the result of the ballot Avould be a dead heat between -15 candidates each of whom had received one vote Something liko this did once actually occur, when the Greek commanders at Salamis, balloting for a general-in-chief, set down euch man his own name lirst, and that of Tlietuistoces second. Warned by this venerable classical scandal (for whicii vide the his'orians in lac) the council resdved that each voter must put down Jim: nam-:.--, the five who received most votes to be r duced in subsequent ballots to four, three, two, and ult-imatiilv ono. The result of this process, as we know, was tho election of Mr Miller —a very good man, too —but whether that result was thought satisfactory by anybody in the Council except Mr Miller himself may bo doubted The defeated candidates probably consider thornselves the victims of hocus-pocus. Mr George M'Laan, for example, won't easily understand how, after being made a hot favourite, he camo to bo thrown out on the second ballot; nor will Mr Oliver, whose name headed the third ballot, readily comprehsnd its total disappearance from the fourth. 'Those be mysteries. All's for the best, of course, and the Hon. Mi* Miller. with LGOO a year in possession and a knight hood in prospect, is more than ever of tba opinion

Dr Belcher's essay before tbe Philosophical Institute on the Modern Novel is good reading, despite the fact that somehow the learned essayist makes you feel that he discourses in the character of a superior person, and that having explored all literature from the cuniform inscriptions of Tiglath-Pilesar down to the manuscript of Aristotle's found the other day in a mummy case ho " condescends upon " the modern novel in ths purely philosophic spirit, to which nothing is great or small. In the same spirit last session lie condescended upon the Ancient Roman Cat and its plane in universal history. Doubtless these attempts to broaden the mind of tho Institvitearemushtobecommended. Tomakeits members aware that there are more things in heaven and earth than have been dreamt of in their philosophy—hitherto occupied chiefly with beetles and spiders—is a great merit, and that merit is Dr Belcher's. Never a^ain need a meeting of savants be synonymous wifh dulaess. That reproach is taken away —thanks to Dr Belcher. How cau discussions bo dull that are free to range from the modern novel to the ancient Roman Cat? Bitween these limits is scope and verge enough for philosophic speculation in its most romantic flights. And yet, perhaps, the emancipated Institute is not as grateful as it might be. Head the letter subjoined. There are people, it seems, to whom the discoveiy that pedagogic omniscience may be inaccurate in a date affords a malicious pleasure. Dr Belcher may reasonably construe this gee over a microscopic error as merely another testimony—a sort of inverted testimony—to his superiority. There are spots in the sun. And what makes those spots interesting? The fact that they c.reiu th'osun,— what else ? But here is the letter:

Dear Civis, —An early training iv "Jliss Mangnall's Historical Questions" has given me au incurable distaste for chronology ; and I am therefore not a little surprised, and I am afraid gratified, to find myself able to bowl out tho author of " AVaverley," in the vain dishonesty of understating his age by means of a false date.

Dr Belcher, in an interesting paper read at the last meeting of the Otago Institute, says : —"In the year 1769 were born Napoleon, AVellington, Cuvier, and Scott. Few years of our somewhat barren record present names so famous as these illustrious four."

Now Sir AValter in his autobiography writes hesitatingly, as if half anticipating Dr Belcher's revelation :—" I was born, as I believe, on tho 15th August 1771." Of course you may hold that this is merely au accidental error on the part of the bard, but 1 can scarcely think so. The words "as I believe" have a hollow ring about them and remind oue only too forcibly of Bishop Julius' apologetic "I had always understood," when the naked light was suddenly flashed upon his parentage. It was at a public dinner, you will remember, and Dr Belcher had proposed the bishop's health, descanting in graceful sentences on the virtues he had inherited from bis father, who was " a clergyman in merrie Islington." "I had always understood," said the bishop in reply, "that my father was a medical man iv Richmond."—l am, kc, Antiquary. Dunedin, July 2, 1392.

The first number of Hansard has just oome to hard, and ia wading through it for the matrix at a Note, I light, on the historical memorial to the Emperor on behalf of the Russian Jews. Nothing was omitted in order to give due weight and diguily to this our first attempt lo bring in tho new world to redress the balance of ihe eld. The memorial was in the shaps of " an illuminated address "—quite the sort of thing for the Czar to frame arid hang np in the Winter Palace. A copy of Hansard went with it—fer his private and personal perusal. And accompanying both was a letter from William Jukes Steward, as Speaker, wherein in his very best diplomatic X; glisli he beg^ his Excellency the A.D.C. to do him the honour of laying the address (and the Hansard) at tho fecr. of hi? Imperial Majesty. His Excellency will sec that the House entertains towards bis Imperial Majesty sentiments of (lie most profound respect. And so fr.rlh, ntd so ou—qnitp as if William Jukes were iv trie habit of corresponding with crowned heads every day of his life. The A. D. C. did not "lay the memorial at, the feet, Sc. On the contrary lie " returns it, forthwith, without submitting it to his Majesty," aud requests "Mr AVilliam Jukes Steward " to accept the assurance of his highest esteem. Tho reply being in French, " m diplomatic French," as the Speaker explained to the House; a translation was read, acd is duly entered in the journals as the flrst record of our relations with foreign poweia. And a notewoithy record it is. Hansard does not say what became of tho " illuminated address," but it is to be hoped it has passed into the private and personal possession of Jlr Steward. He deserves if, and nobody will grudge him it. Moreover he is a Poet as wel! Os a Speaker, and p-cr-adventure it may inspire him .to publish a New Zealand version of Rejected Addresses, —a theme he has made his own.

Mr Lawry . Compensation Bill has miscairied, and it woula seem that tho clumsiness of its clausßS was quite enough to kill it, without counting tbe protests of the prohibitionists or the advocacy of Mr H. S. Fish. lam no partioular friend of the publicans, and, for reasons I mrntioned a few weeks ago, oan contemplate with composuie their complete extinction. But that their extinction should be tempered with compensation in some shape or other seems only reasonable, and the arguments advanced against it by the judicious Adams and the ingenious Jago will convince few except those who need no convincing. To suggest to any of these gentlemen that, he should consider the matter broadly nnd calmly is, ns it were, to suggest- to a bull that he should calmly asd broadly consider tho properties of a red rag. The bull won't do it—he can't do it —it's not his nature to. Show him Ihe rog, and—hoy presto I up goes bis tail, down goes his head, and off he rushes, with consequences unnecessary to particularise. Not to speak it profanely, "compensation" to your prohibitionist is as a red rag to a lull. Ido rot impute it, as the manner of some is, to selfish concern for his own pocket. Nor do I hold opinion witli those (such a?. Mr Btanford) who say that over-much m-rulica-tion of the Batumi appetite for malt liquor hath made him mad. Yet it is a most curious and perplexing thing that so many sober citizens of irreproaehabl; moral character and, on all other points, of sound judgment and discretion, should become straightway bereft of reason at the sheer whisper of a simple noun substantive like "compensation." With some diffidence I suggest the germ theory, and conjecture that a microbe must, be at the hottom of it all.

Grant compensation and many hotels that are now open would be incontinently closed. So much is not to bo gainsaid. And it partakes of the nature of a syllogism to say that by closing these hotels you lessen the sale of liquor and tbt-reby lessen tho evil? and horrors wherewith Mr Tennyson Smith and his tribe are wont to freeze the young blood of Bands of Hope, Rechabites, and the Test, who dslight io have their young blood frozan. Yet Messis Tennyson Smith and company would sooDer see all Duuedin dead drunk than consent to a penny heing paid by way of compensation, though every hotel in the town wera to be closed by it,

Cn-!-.-u -*, i.-ja't, it, how far "devotion to principle" will carry a in nil For, mark you, it's not tbo method they object to ; it's the principle of Iho thing. Take f>r example the suggested scheme Liy whii'.'i the hvi-ls that remain open are lobe faxed to c •mpmsate those that are cits-.d. One uii;;ht imagine that such a proposal would glut iho maw of the most ferociom prohibitionist extant. Tax ont: hotel to cU'so another aud let thorn all slow in their o.vn juice I As a piece of poetical justice nothing could be finer. But no. Sootier limn permit onr. unhappy publican put a penny in his p.icki-t—oven when another unhappy publican pays it—your prohibitionist would see the town painted red with rum ar.d riot. IV.U these people I they aro in a measure responsible for lhe

miseries they refuse to cure, and they wil laugh yon to scorn. Tho inoro 1 think of it the more satisfied do I become that to ex' plain it you must postulate the presence of a Prohibition Bacillus or a Compensation Microbe.

Dear Civis, —I see from tho last week's AVitness you come very heavy on the bachelor, aud want tho Government to use stringent moans to ' punish him for his selfishness. You propose to tax him with double iucoiiio tax at 30. Now how can tho Government tax a bachelor when if ho wishes lo outer the bonds of matrimony ho is taxed by tho registrar or tho minister at tho very outset of his married life. Thus proving lhat in the Government opinion married life is a luxury that ought not to be encouraged. If tho Government wish to encourage marriages why don't thoy knock on the hoadthisccremonioussystem of getting married? If we hail marriage documents lying at thu registry ollices throughout the country where tho brido and bridegroom could enter, get these documents filled u;.\'and sign their names, the whole business would he done, and the morality of the people would not bo traded upon as at the present time. Until somo such law is established and nothing to pay I am afraid tho writer will remain

A Bachelor,

"Thrift, thrift, Horatio I" Here verily is a precious specimen of if. I have heard of a man out of work who, in answer to an inquiry about his occupation, replied that ho was

"merely walking about to save uneral expenses," but I never till now encountered a marriageable male creaturo who remained

a bachelor to save the cost of the registrar's certificate. It would be well to put this monster of parsimony under matrimonial

discipline if only a competent shrew could be induced to take him in hand. In addition to being a shrew, it would be indispensable that, she sliould be also an accomplished spendthrift. The 22s Ud exacted by the rapacity of the State—l believe that is tho exact sum -I would undertake to raise amongst Miss Morrison's tailoresses in threepenny subscriptions, and doubtless Dr Smart might be induced to do the minister's part free gratis and for nothing. If Barkis is willin', and any woman of suit-able qualifications will have him, money considerations shan't stand in the way.

Some pestilent fanatic has just invented a new way of bringing religion into contempt. It is a woman (on the evidence of handwriting), and her way is to find out the name of some person who is lying ill, and then to address to that person through the post au anony-

mous card inquiring, " Are ycu born again 1 " " Are you washed ia tho Blood of the Lamb 1 ' Of course to anyone critically ill this reads like, " Arc you prepared to dis ?" Two of

these missives, or missiles, are in my possession. The words are written in a neat feminine hand on a lady's visiting card, gilt edged aud rounded at the corners. The mischievous fool who has adopted this method of propagating Grnbbism did not, succeed in greatly frightening the recipient in either caso, but if she continues her pious 'labours there is more than a chance that to invalids of weaker nerves sha may yet prove fatal. Of course that consideration won't stop her, nor tho assurance from any such person as myself that she is doing more harm to religion than half a dczen infidels. Nothing oa earth will stop oue of these female fanatics when once on the rampage. But her possible victims may be forewarned, and that is why I write "thia note. The proper thing lo do with anonymous cards and circulars inquiring after the health of your soul is to re-direct- them promptly to Civis.

Civis."