THE LAST CAMPAIGN.

Otago Daily Times, Issue 9117, 16 May 1891, Page 6 (Supplement)

THE LAST CAMPAIGN.

, (National Obiorver.) It waß tho year 1925 A.D., and the Premier 1 had once more journeyed northwards on his ' fortieth Mid-Lothian campaign. Howbeit fast noaring the years of the triumphant j Moses, yet, according to the newspapers of ■ his party—and the oihers had been sup- " pressed, partly because of their bad ; morals, but principally on account of their I arrogant correctness of grammar—yet was his . eye not dimmed nor his natural strength 1 abated. No monthly magazine was complete 3 without an article from his pen; no middleb class couple ever sei up housekeeping without a postcard in his hand framed in the r wood of his chips; the automatic machines t supplied no photographs but his. Men had . ceased towondcrathislong-continuedlifeand 3 activity. The Established Oalvinistio Methof dist Church of Wales had declared him a i, miracle; the Established Salvation Army of 3 England (now amalgamated with the Church 1 of the Future) venerated him with the 3 General and That Good Man as one of its 1 New Trinity, and its monthly organ (the a name of it was " Yelp ") heaped on his head i a full third share of the doggerel and slipi slop in which the New Everything naturally . embodies itself. One point alone in his coni duct was noted with regret by tho more . fervent of his Welsh supporters; with a i. lingering regard for old associations, he y devoted the proceeds of the chips to foundi, ing almshou'ses for disendowed clergymen; •! he had even resisted (for a time) the motion t of the temperance party to discontinue the z half-pint of beer at Christmas formerly 0 allowed to the inmates of those institutions. i ( But these amiable weaknesses were not { allowed to detract from the man's enormous 1 influence. In his last years of power he had y achieved such changes as made his earlier o legislative achievements shrink into oblivion, from which, it may be said, he showed no sort { of anxiety to withdraw them. They had o revolutionised the conditions of political life a in England, and many of them he had f carried through alone. His friends and .. associates had fallen one by one around his t apparently immortal form. His old and. a valued colleague Blabouchtre was dead of V apoplexy, induced by the discovery of an accurate statement in Truth (admitted by ', an inexperienced sub-editor); Sir William . G. G. V. V. Plantagenet had succumbed to o an unvaried diet of his own words au jus i. Parnellito; Mr John Orawley, after a long f and earnest flirtation with the Psychical ,1 Research Society, had passed over to Mme. t Blavatsky, and had gone down to the grave 3 a chela and a re-incarnation of the sainted 0 Hobespierre; nay, the rising hope of the .. Premier's family, the son on whose unfailing 1 indiscretion he had so long relied, had g perished by a mysterious accident—an accii- dent about which no Radical member i. betrayed the slightest curiosity. i, Yet as the Premier was supported up the ,t steps of the platform, and faced the vast 1 assembly where all tho rank and unintsllie genco of his party were gathered to hear him q discourse, he was calm and unmoved. He c walked stiffly and heavily, and his face i- wore a set smile, but his utterance was clear c and distinct, albeit somewhat sharper and 3 more metallic than old men remembered it in if the great days of the Tipperarian atrocities. y Two private secretaries stood close to him, x and behind him was the secretary of the j, executive committee of the At 6 Club, chief of c all wire-pullers in a wire-pulled age. x It was generally understood that the speech c of the evening would be devoted to foreign a affairs, and on this topic the orator was sure U of a favourable reception. During the past year he had held the meteor flag of his y country even higher than before. By adroit y financial operations the claims of Venezuela . to the West Indies had been compromised by '. the cession of Jamaica and the payment of j but half a million of indemnity—nay, of leßs, :, for the Venezuelans consented to take off a discount for cash. Further, the Irish Republic had expressed itself satisfied with the surrender of two out of the three iron-clads still remaining to England; so that the country still possessed a navy sufficient to protect her trade and her colonies—all that was left of them. Thus, it was with cheerful confidence that the party organisers awaited the Great Leader's speech and the verdict of the audience. The orator stood stiffly, leaning on the table surveying the cheering multitude with a glassy stare. But his lips opened, and he began to speak with all the old fire and the old eloquence, and the secretaries of the various Liberal Odd Hundreds smiled to each other. But the smile faded from lip after lip, and in face after face was replaced by a stare of horror and amaze. "Ladies and gentlemen," the orator was thundering, with his wonted conviction and to the deadly purpose men knew so well, " I do not seek to mr quire what mystery of iniquity is concealed under the specious words and flimsy plausibilities of the present Government. Yet, knowing nothing, and seeking to know nothing, of their concealed motives, I have comparatively little hesitation in informing you that, to the best of my belief, I may, with a substantial approach to accuracy, describe them as being within a measurable distance of disgracing the name of England, soiling the honour of their country's flag, and tamely yielding to the baseless pretensions of foreign insolence." Then man looked on man, and secretary on seoretary; and the delegate of an Odd Hundred made with his lips the words " Stop him "; and the secretary of the Ate Club buried his face in his hands, and groaned as a strong man in his agony; and the speaker went on with the air of one inspired. "We have borne our dishonour long enough," he said. " Why is our army the laughing-stock of military Europe ? Why have we set up enemies within our gates to open them to foes from without? Why have wo bought disgrace with the lands that our forefathers won for us with their most precious blood ." But at this the gathering tumult broke in uproar. Some cried out that he was mad, some that he was possessed, some strove to drown his voice with applause, and some with hooting. The private secretaries tried to drag their chief away, but in their confusion they hampered each other. An.d with Btony eye and set smile and intense earnestness the orator went on denouncing— denouncing—denouncing. And the secretary of the At 6 Club sat huddled together, moaning to himself, " 0 me I Lost I —lost I —all lost!" And an aged man, white-haired and accounted imbecile, the last Tory of MidLothian, murmured gently, "The Lord be praised. I've lived to hear Auld Wullie speak the truth." And therewith he turned his face to the wall and gave up the ghost. And still the orator went on. But a young professor, less reverent than the rest, seized a thick quarto of his idol's speeches, which he always carried in his pocket, and hurled it wildly at the platform. It was not the first time the Premier had had his own words thrown in his teeth, but it was the last. The missive struck him full in the face; he tottered, and toppled over backwards, and lay so, his arms and legs sticking out straight, his speech still flowing from his lips. And as he fell, the secretaries arose, and plunged yelling down the back stair; a clatter of feet on the stone steps, a, thud, a scrtam, and they were gone. The terrified audience scaled the platform and lifted the aged miraole to his feet. Ho was speaking still; but when they let him go, he reeled and fell once more, anfl with a strange click and a jar his oration endedi A doctor forced his way through the frightened throng and knelt beside the prostrate figure. But as he lifted the stiffened wrist to feel the pulse, he uttered a scream of horror. "Is he dead?" gasped the Provost. "Heaven preserve us I" shrieked the doctor; and, with a yell of horrid, almost insane, laughter, he tore away the Premier's shirt-front, and snatching out his lancet drew it down the naked breast. But there came not blood but cotton-wool. And the doctor tore open the gash that he had made, and the leaders of the Liberals looked on the heart of their revered leader. And behold lit was a phonograph. Then no' man spake a word above his breath, but the vast assembly melted away by all the outlets. Only the provost and a few of the chief men of the city took each of them a leg of a table or other weapon, and went after the secretaries. But they found only the chief of them on the stairs, half unconscious, shattered by his fall beyond hope of saving; and they carried him up into the hall and put brandy to his lips. He stirred and sighed. "The wrong drawer," he murmured; "an old cylinder I Lostlost—all lost! But it was nobly done." Then he lapsed into unconsciousness, but revived again. "We could not do without him," he gasped. "We had to kill Herbert.' He would I have told. Oh, it was nobly done." " Who thought of it, villain ?" said the provost, and the dying man grew inarticulate. None knew what he meant, but some said it sounded like "... horst." "And how many years has this been going on ?" another asked; and all bent forward for the answer.

But the secretary of the At 6 Club was dead.

—Signs of shops originated whfn people in general were not able to read. A representation of the article sold was used at oach shop to attract customers.