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Otago Daily Times, Issue 1118, 21 July 1865, Page 6

A gentleman, Imvinic set foot for the first time in Ireland, ropairoil to un hotel for something to eat, and was accommodated with a roast fowl. He was proceeding to pat it, when his plate divided with v sharp cnu-k, and the winjv, to which he had just helped himself, flew up to the ceiling. Soon attervvards an excited waiter rushed into the room, crying, " He's -afe, he's safe!" "Who's safe ?" inquired the bewildered traveller. " Mister O'Musgrnve, sir,' said the waiter, in explanation; " the captain fired in the air!" It thus became apparent io the pentleman that a duel had been fought in the room beneath, and, without stopping to fiiiMi ht3 repast, he ordered his luggage to be packed, and left Ireland immediately.

At the recent M'Clelhu meetincat New York, some one in the crowd, impatient at the nonappearance of the General, shouted, " Hurrah for little Mac I" Thereupon another voice, in a much louder key, cried, " Hurrah tor a jackass!' —"That's rfelit," said the first speaker, "you call for your candidate, and I'll call for m'iue. It's a free country."

"Ah, Jemmy, Jemmy," said the Bishop:of Derry to a drunken blacksmith, "I'm sorry to see you beginning your evil course again; and, Jemmy, I am very anxious to know what you intend to do with that fine lad, your son?"—" I intend, sir," said Jemmy, "to do for him what you cannot do for your son."—" Eh ! eh! How's that - how's that ?" To which Jemmy, with a burst vf genuine frelinjr, said, " I intend to make him a better man than his iather!"