FUN AND FANCY.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XXXIX, Issue 10765, 13 May 1911, Page 4 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY.

"There's a man to see vim, sir. s. two wooden legs." "Tell liim «i".o. want any." Prisoner: Judge. Id like tu Int" little time to-think this ever, ihi trate: All right. Three immtitf. .V ' "Money is not at iho l'"ii"i« "j ,v ' thing," sadly remarked ilic as he plunged his hands deep d'jwn i; his pockets. . . Mr Scott: You used to pnnii loci' to us as a model lnisluiul, jn' jvou say he's lazy. Mr Jlou: }\ t\l I a. model all right, only he '*" l :i "" ing model. ~ Mi- Xcwrichc: I've been :-]«■»'■ quite a lot of money on ttal'l'"' mine. Want to make it- lit 1"; gentleman, y'see. Kiiniier: J >«''■ -stand. Going to lei. it, eh-' , The Guide: "Now, ez sunn ra i ' borrv a dorg we'll he n.'.i<ly l« r >' hunt-in' trip. Tim Anint.j'.ir . i--"Why, what's the matter ivitli jouri dog'? The Guide: Ob. liest"» u able. , , Police Captain: Now, h™ '!:» ; failed so completely »!,'"'I 11 ;;.:; about the housebreaking IJ '' l , Weel, it's no ma iaull Ibe n ' are doon on me, mi* they 11 w u« tell you. Why, «Ho.tak;;s off for me in the evening come home from the ( -' 1 , 11 "- ."".,, friend. "No; when 1 «»t » there." ~ ~ , u un i "Now, Johnny,'' sud ; u . school teacher, "can y<m telt we u the most rom.irkal.le J'%X did?" "Yes, ma'am. r* u bright youth. "He lirok.-i.il f," 8 mahdments at the same timeWife (reading; : Alter i K • tion ho sent her a legal do ing her control of their chiWwhere we could ot,,\"'..ui0 t , , \"'..ui would give us control o. ou; JW I "Don't you snpp*>sf. ap; ber of the police- lorce, /■-• , man knows a rogue v.ti him?" "No doubt,-, « ) l'l"but the trouble is tliat- <- seize a rogue when h<; Kn " '$ "Saral,, 0 I really w.sh >« * , more careful; 1 do not ((f , your mistress seu.dn.L,' >"• '. M said the master nl the > l _, parlormaid. "Oh, don t replied Sarah, siinl'Onotice." . . c r '. Anxious Old Lady:, I man, is this boat. "I - p , Deckhand: Well, she* ■'■•;■,; tub. mem, so 1 unma - goin' doon. '*'"* -, "'' I \[fi t b'ilers are no Ih' 1 '"~ ' " ' gang up- - ]ms "If vou are Inekm- t-r ,_.. said thestockbroker. ;.,.' 3l ,;?,• 1 can oll'er \on smne .-; •■ a share." "H"', »,..> ?ho; cheap?" demanded ••'■ "You see, thoyjiavo !>'■•■» ■ ' aged by water.'' . | ,„■ brHubbv: You don. kno-; >_. ~, Was while yon «'."' ' [( .;, [ \f, country. Helen. "»>• in v!if. burglar in the dead o , u went down to the D.J-; . ( , , i: ,; at-a time. Wifey : * j-' - ' on the roof, George. ( )r !0 -Look here." *<■'' f^| H ,,v #* l>onl.;.ig-clerk a, ''".,.'.„ thi, »'; '■rvc boon S t f - rk ■26 minutes. " ~ n c: U cre<i,?; withered little man. an-. m "Ah. madam, l^e should send B band shoBW beat jou t that case it rf w out „{ uhim, even atter ne y