Items.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XVII, Issue 5207, 13 February 1892, Page 3

Items.

"You have forgotten something, sir," said tlie waiter, as the diner was leaving. "Keep it for your honesty," replied the gentleman. Stern parent —"Another bad report, my son." Son—"Yes, papa, you must really talk to my teacher or he will keep on doing it." The Wellington Press learns that a good many men who were previously given to drunkenness have, since their sojourn at the Paliiatua relief works and their enforced abstinence there, renounced strong drink altogether and donned the blue. An Australian orchardist has just received returus from England which show that his last shipment of oranges averaged 12s clear per packing case in the London and Manchester markets. The Sydney Board of Health has issued 591 circulars to the medical practitioners resident in New South Wales, asking for all available information respecting the recent influenza epidemic. The Launceston Fruit Board has instructed its inspector to take proceedings against all fruitgrowers who fail to at once gather all infected fruit acccording to the provisions of the Codlin Moth Act and regulations. r The Waikato Times says Everybody has heard of the schoolboy's answer as to the ace being the largest known diamond, but it is not we think generally considered that a pack of cards is a necessary adjunct to a schoolgirl's ' kit." This appears to be the case, however. Yesterday afternoon at a certain school, we will not particularise, not a hundred miles away from Hamilton, one of the teachers discovered a pack of cards in one of the scholars' desks. The young lady, on being questioned by the teacher (who having received a strict education herself was horrified) replied that the cards were her own, and that during play time she and others of the scholars devoted themselves to playii*g euchre. A nice pastime surely for chits of girls." A Scotch boatman while crossing a loch was asked if he would take some water with his whisky, and replied: "No, there was a horse drooned at the head o',

the lock twa years ago." The head of the loch was 24 miles distant. In connection with the threatened invasion of rabbits, a question has arisen (says the Queenslander) whether it is possible for rabbits to become a real pest in the more tropical districts of Queensland, and on this point there is considerable diversity of opinion. Rather stale bread.—Mrs Slimdiet: "The boarders are coming in. Cut the bread, Matilda." Miss Slimdiet : "Ma, I saw in a society paper to-day that bread should be broken, not cut." Mrs Slimdiet: " That's the style now, eh 1" Very well. Where's the axe."