Items.

Oamaru Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 5085, 22 September 1891, Page 1

Items.

The Yomiuri Shimbun, a Japanese newspaper, quotes from an Osaka journal the following advertisement : —"Wanted, a wife. If she is pretty she need not bo clever. If she is rich sho need not bo pretty. If sho is clever sho need not bo perfect in form, provided always that sho be not conceited. Iler station in lifo is no object ; neither is the remoteness of her place of abode, whether in country or town. She ought to bo iti the neighborhood of 20 years of age, moro or less. Tho would-be bridegroom is an artist of Osaka occupying a medium position in society. Ladies desiring a union are requested to attend at tho office of tho Mainichi Shimbun by tho 25th instant, where full particulars will bo given." Mistress : Bridget, I can't get into tho parlor. Bridget: Sure it's meself knows that; an' ye won't, fur I have tho kay in me pocket. Mistress: Open that door immediately ! Bridget: Will you go in if I do 1 Mistress: Certainly I will! Bridget: Then you don't get the kay. Mistress : Open the door immediately ! What do you mean 1 Bridget: Sure it's by your orders! Ye said, yesterday, " Don't let me come downstairs ill tho mornin' an' see any dust ot. tho parlor furniture." So I just puts the kay in mo pocket, an' says I, " Then sho won't." A captain who was about to encago a crew asked the first tar who offered his services his name. ' Sandy Macpherson,' was the reply. 'All right,' said tho captain, 'you'll do.' The next man was a native of the Emerald Isle, who announced himself as 'Paddy Bourke.' 'Let's seo your papers,' said the captain. 'You took that Scotchman widoutacharackter,' answered Pat. ' Never mind ; handover your papers,' and Paddy's papers being satisfactory he also was duly engaged. Throughout the voyage, however, tho 1 injustice to Ireland' rankled in Paddy Bourke's breast. One day there wero only three men on deck, including Sandy Macpherson and Pat, the former beinsr engaged in washing down the decks. While he was hauling in a bucket of water the ship gave a lurch, and Sandy disappeared over the side. Instead of rendering assistance Paddy ran down below, knocked at the captain's door, and shouted, 4 Captain, that Scotchman you took widout the oharackter lias left tho ship Mid taken one of your buckets wicl him I-"* , The Rialto. .