RANDOM NOTES.

Oamaru Mail, Volume I, Issue 44, 12 June 1876, Page 2

RANDOM NOTES.

" A duel's amang ye takin' notes, An' faith he'll prent 'em."

" Two plugs for a local." Shades of my forefathers ! but " truth is stranger than fiction." Until I saw the gauntlet thrown down by a member of the " P.P." I was in hopes that the foul imputation against a countryman of mine was but the ingenious device of a needy paper man to give the unfortunate Press Agent a rest. But no ! a double blow has been struck, and the dastardly attempt to bribe the Press has proved a stab to the country that gave me birth, and the profession that gives me bread. All honour to that Pressman who refused the tempting bait, and while refusing the plugs, gave his tempter a quid pro quo to put in his pipe and smoke. Not satisfied, however, with the expose, this would-be destroyer of hitherto unbouglit purity assumes another shape, and seeks to beguile with what he terms " Hibernian Snuff," of which he states he has a large quantity. Bearing in mind the somewhat pugilistic significance appertaining to the initials "P.P.," added to the general warlike tone of his missive, I am somewhat guarded in my language. Were it not for that, and a wholesome fear that I might get a Hibernian instead of a Barrett's twist, I could readily believe that he not only possesses a large quantity of the titillating powder, but that it is of the very best quality, known as " Irish blackguard." [Private—To Mister Patrick Riordan. —Dear Sir, —Don't get riled. The last paragraph is only a goak, and I must write to get bread, but I put in the "P.R." purposely, so that no one should know for whom it is intended. —Magguffin.] Lord Bacon has said " Knowledge is power ;" but a later authority, LordLytton, has since observed that " A little knowledge is a dangerous thing." Assuming that there exists equal truth in both sayings, if knowledge be power, yet a limited modicum prove a dangerous commodity, it must necessarily follow that the smaller the knowledge the greater the danger. Admitting the logic of the deduction, then ; giving it a local application ; and judging from certain "paralogism" evidence, " T. T." must be a very dangerous character, indeed. Being somewhat exercised in mind, after wrongfully accusing me of stating that he had four children, and that said children had been frequently scandalised at their father's conduct, he inadvertently acknowledges his own shame, but replies by the tu quoque line of argument. Like a Malay running , c a-muck, he stabs at every one who crosses his path, the unfortunate editor of The Mail being Ms first victim. After belabouring that gentleman in language scarcely Chesterfieldian, with a tincture of Murray to a dose of Thompson, his unfortunate victim is nolens volens saddled with the paternity of foui' encumbrances, said encumbrances being anything but the gainer by the paternal example. Why, gentlemen of the "T. T." stamp, who are supposed to confine their libations to aqua pura, are so intemperate in their language, and so often enact the part of the Pharisee —not the good one, however—seems wholly unexplicable. However, paradoxical as it may appear, it is apparent that the excessive use of that U.quid in a frigid state has a calorific influence, and invariably gets its consumer into "hot." Immediately on recovering the shock of the trenchant attack which emanated from Mr. Thompson's pen, I made earnest inquiries concermng the band which is blessed with such a champion, and was delighted to hear that it is a very worthy one. I learn that it is to be established for the culture of the minds, the improvement of the manners, and the strengthening of the bodies of the rising generation. That its objects are to combine amusement with instruction, to instil habits of thrift paid temperance, and that in the accomplisMnent of those ends there are periodical gatherings, at which the " cup that cheers " casts a soothing influence on those assembled, unknown to the votaries of the " fioing bole " said gatherings being denominated "bread and butter worries " —with other equally desirable advantages, too numerous to mention. Having all those commendable qualities there cannot be f\vo opinions a3 to its establishment proving a boon, for I have dropped across a deplorable example since this correspondence was opened of the lamentable effects its non-existence has had in the past. If amusement were to be the only derivable result, then certainly " T. T." should be allotted a prominent position ; but as instruction is also sought, I would recommend "that gentleman to become merely a member, remembering the old Maori proverb : "'hciid eld otai llaf Who Mob dnilb eht dael dnilb eld fl." Should Mr. Thompson be unacquainted with the native tongue and wish a literal translation, let him follow the Chinese and Hebrew customs, and he will arrive at a solution.

" Some men are born to greatness, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them." His Honor Mx\ Dudley Ward, however, would, seem to be a recipient in the triple capacity. Belonging to one of the best families, and nearly allied to a modern Croesus, he entered the world with a silver spoon in his mouth. Not long since he won immortal renown, and made his name a household -word from one end of the Colony to ,the other by his scientific researches into the manifold and disastrous effects of the use of mutton; and now his praises are sung throughout the length and breadth of the

land for his utterances in Bickertonian judgment. To use a jm, nile simile, he appears to be seated up, one end of that simple, but youthful \ strument of amusement, the see-sai while his Honor the Chief Justice occujj the other. Like that pleasing source amusement, the lower Mr. Prendera descends, the higher appears the coloss proportions of his sub. ; but there t! simile ends, for the positions are never i versed. Let us look calmly into the s\j ject, and then ask with the immoti Artemus, "Why is this thus?" % Chief Justice, some time back, in $g tencing a prisoner, was guilty of the te grave error of referring to Ms antecedent and to statements not appealing in $ dence. Although doing so, it has be freely admitted that the sentence p nounced was by no means severe, and cc sequently not aggravated by the facts i wisely commented upon. For this he l been lampooned by every publication the Colony, one paper following the othi just as a flock of sheep are seen to a leader, and jump an imaginary obstasKj Recollect, I do not seek to palliate error of Chief Justice Prendergast, trust that the bitter lesson he has will have a beneficial effect. But draw such invidious comparison between his action and that of Mr. Dudley To my mind, the one was equally as guik^Bj ; as the other —the only difference " the way in which 'twas done." In tencing Bickerton, by inference Ward was caustically severe upon- the csH duct of his Chief ; yet while the one told what he had heard to the of the prisoner's character, the othJß although freely enumerating the delinquencies, was wise enough to his remarks with the assertion that tt|V law would not allow him to take sance of them. In other words, he said, " Bickerton, I know your thoroughly ; I have heard of your pades in the past ; everybody says a scoundrel; but I am supposed not know anything about it; the law allow me to speak of anything that not appear as evidence in the case. it not for that, I would tell you the drel you have been ; but I won't. tunately for you, the law protects you that extent, and so I bow to its It may be put down as a broad almost as broad as that administered bj|H worthy Hibernian clergyman to one of flock. Dancing on the Sabbath was tijf evil he had to contend against, and naming the delinquent after Mass, tiflß punishment resorted to. His had tried gentle suasion at first, but ing that of no avail, lie somewhat tonished the culprit one Sunday by ■■ nouncing that if " Paddy Murphy didsHf cease going to a dance-house »n he would mention his nam-e-f jr the I am not aware whether Mr. Ward has ever heard of the good " broad hint," but I tliink it will most people that the cases are parallel. BB Magguffin, BJ