TO END HIS WOES

NZ Truth, Issue 1103, 20 January 1927, Page 7

TO END HIS WOES

Dour Donald Doctored His Drink "•- . ■ . ■ . . ■• ■ y (From "N.Z." Truth's" Special Christchurch Rep.) » j Poor Donald! "Life's no cop, j anyway;- better end it/ he solilor quised iri rural Rakaia. on a bright summer's day recently. . 7 ■ j AND utterly fed-up, scornful . of the j hard and Gruel world which with? held from him its joys and treasures, Donald Sutherland decided to cut the bonds thht tied him to mortal flesh. Now Donald is nothing if not origi-, nal. Fond of a spot of amber juice oc-, casionally.'he resolved to make a foaming quart of beer his medium for departure to a happier land. So, arming himself with a bottle of sparkling amber fluid, he removed the cork. ' His next, act was to obtain some wheat which had been poisoned with strychnine. This he di-opped into the beer and waited until it had soaked thoroughly. * And then, with a hurried farewell to this vale of tears, he drank the beer. Of; course, he became "ill, and created, quite a stir, bellowing that he was dying.'.'- r ■ Peaceful Rakaia had not been treated to such a dramatic exhibition for many a long day. Of course, all the hubbub brought the local constable on the scene. He found poor Donald m a very bad way, and not altogether sure whether strychnine was not, after all/" the very worst medium for transportation to Kingdom Come that could be found m Christendom. ■'■■'•' Happily for Donald a doctor was handy. He at once . got busy, with stomach pumps and all sorts of gadgets and succeeded after a great fight m /saving his life. Sutherland looked very sick and sorry for himself when he faced Magistrate Lawry at Christchurch on a change of attemping to commit suicide. A conviction and discharge may teach him that life, after all, has its compensations,,**and that beer without strychnine is the better drink. ■■•■