HOW "SHORTY" AND HIS PAL KEPT THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR

NZ Truth, Issue 1080, 12 August 1926, Page 7

HOW "SHORTY" AND HIS PAL KEPT THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR

A Very Limited liability Company That Never Returned A Dividend

' (From "Truth's" Special Wellington Representative.) AS a limited (essentially limited ) liability company, the firm of "Shorty & Co";has fallen into the diist of involuntary liquidation. ._■■"'■■ ■ . • ■,■•-. ■ :"■>. •■, ,:, ■'■ . ■ .

THE final order of dissolution was * granted by Magistrate T. E. Maunsell last week when sending the firm's livest shareholder to gaol on a charge of "receiving," and incidentally giving the Crown the job of directing the policy of the: company for at least three months. \

RIGTLY speaking, of course, "Shorty and Go. ' do not . appear anywhere as . a registered company and ' the suggestion of partnership came from "Shorty" himself, who is .."..;■' known tcf his friends and now. to the police ap Joseph Michael Hblehan. i The story of the "firm's" meteoric Mac and thunderbolt fall was told by "Shorty" when called upon to face the magistrate .on a charge of stealing some fountain pens and an overcoat, and on alternatiye charges of "receiving" the goods, well knowing that they had not been obtained honestly. "Shorty" is not only short in' a physical sense, bu^ apparently was " short financially also. , But he has a long tongue and a glib one; ■; i ;> -. ■, \ PLAYING TO THE GALLERY Excessive/ volubility and a bright crop of naming ginger hair are two of- his characteristics, and what greater attributes could any salesman possess? 'It was owing to the fact that the stolen goods had found their wayward way to a second-hand emporium that the police topk a keen interest . in "Shorty and Co." and made so bold as to enquire into the bona-fides of the shareholders. . When "Shorty,"- or— to give him his full title— Joseph Michael Holehah, got into the box,.it'was evident thajt he loved himself exceedingly or" else was very sure that Lawyer 7. F. Kussell Wallace, who had a hard row to hoe on the evidence, was going to get him out of it very easily. With his unbounded "optimism, • Joseph was inclined to play to the gallery to a. great extent. Starting off snappily . with his story (it has been mentioned that he had ginger hair), he told the Court how he "met an old cobber named 'Smith' while I was' down town" last month. "As I hadn't seen him since the Christmas before," said accused with a broad- smile, "we had a few boozes." (Laughter). SHARING THE PROFITS Mutual confidences led to the disclosure "that neither was m the first flight for the financial stakes, so they "pooled" their -resources and— -like the M Three' Musketeers"— decided" to. go "all for one and pnefbr all." • It was apparently a "sinking" fund literally, as they asked innumerable friends to join the party to sink several of 'their favorite drinks. . ,/ . .'The-inagistrate: Your friends seem to have stuck to you pretty well. Joseph (missing the jibe): Yes, sir, I always look after my friends very well when I am m" funds, and they have rer turrted it to me— at times. (Laughter). - "However, the 'partnership' was getting groggy then," he continued amid general laughter, and added that Smith had confided to him that he had some I goods in' his luggage at the/railway station, but he was unable — for sudden pecuniary reasons — to pick up the luggage, which no doubt opened up vistas m the matter of. financial buoyancy again. Joseph said< he could see that there was a barrier m raising the "necessary." . "You see, sir, finances were running pretty low m the firm." (Laughter). Anyway, they did what greater financiers had done before them— they "raised the wind," and duly collected the luggage. , »"I was not over-inquisitive about it," said witness when describing how Smith hajcl changed his boots after opening the luggage, and then handed five expensive fountain-pens over to accused., - ._•■■■ "He said he was out to sell these goods and we entered into an arrangement to divide the finance if I sold them." Joseph went round the town trying to sell the pens, but m the end was reduced to the necessity of breasting the door of a so xmd-hanc; dealer's establishment m Mariners Street, where he was offered the gigantic sum of 2/6 Swach. V ' „ • ' '\ . '

,The magistrate: Did you think you r er.e getting paid a low price for the ens? Accused: Well, your Worship, you know what it is when you are up against it and your body is crying out for the necessary things of life, so \ had to get rid of the pens at the best price I could." As for the coat, witness said Smith ad been "wearing it for three days nd— fair dinkum — it fitted him well, 00/ (Laughter). He handed it to le when funds were getting down a it and the partnership wanted a bit f a reviver." (Laughter).' 'ARTNER DISAPPEARS The coat was eventually pawned and nee more the partnership rose ' until— herebeing. nothing left to sell— it nally sank, and Smith disappeared. "The next I heard of him was when called on a mutual friend of mme — barman m, an hotel here," said witess. ■.'■.'■-. "He told me that Smith had become a guest of His Majesty's over the question of a ccat. ... "Then later, when I was, asked to go long to the police station m connectori with the coat, I. said I knew nothng about it, ; but they told me "that imith, who was there m the office, had old them that I did." ' The magistrate: Why did you not get more out of the poor secondhand dealer? — Oh, I put. the lemon* squasher on . to him all right, but I couldn't get' any more out "of him;, (Laughter). "We were cutting it pretty fine, too, om^times," said accused, "as we always had to leave a little bit aside foi , bed arid breakfast." The magistrate: You seem to have een the 'salesman m the partnership. > Vhy didn't Smith try it? — He wasn t nuch good at it, sir. He couldn't fire he bullets like I could. (Laughter). Was the overcoat one of the bullets? -Yes, that was one' of the bullets I ir.ed at the pawnbroker's for him. \E DIDN'T DRI.NK/GIN "Mind you', sir," added Holehan, "we lad hit up the booze a, bit when Wb icked off.. . . . Three whiskies and hree gins as well as -" : .. „__"; The.SiM.: I see, partnershi.pyco.hT' : sumption, like? — -No,' sir, I didn't have the gins. I- don't drink it.. "After I somehow drifted away from Smith— we were both broke — I. said I rould go and see what I could do The magistrate: Did you put I'ypui. ame on the unemployed list?-rMy tame was oh a registry;, pfflce • books, iUt' ' wages- were • ridicul'dusiy; :low.;. for crub-cu'tting and "jobs like -"that^ and hey Weren't really worth taking. "However, sir, to iget Qn with the tory before I was interrupted, 1 said 1 /ould go and see. what I could do, and net this friend of mine who is a barnan. • -, •• .;-'. ' ' ■•.. "He asked* Trie how I was doing and I told 1 him I was financially outsky, so he gave me a bit to carry on with." (Laughter).

The magistrate: Everybody seems ;o have been awully good to you! Joseph: Well, this )loke was. He said 'Shior t y " ': (ray riends know me as 'Shorty"), "the de-i ecti'ves are ''after r ou, so look ;out." : said: "What for?" md. he said it was ibout the- 'coat which -Smith gave to me. . . "Of course, I had been drinking a, little;, about three whiskies and twelve beers and I don't see how I could be dead sober, although I must have been a long way off drunk." (Laughter). After the evidence of a number of witnesses, the S.M. remarked that Joseph's story was "too highly colored to be swallowed by this Court." Chief Detective Ward said the accused was a single man, about 30 years of age, and had served a month m gaol for. theft on a prior occasion. "I am satisfied," said the, magistrate, "that the accused has been living a systematic dishonest life and' he will be sentenced to three months' imprisonment on the charges of receiving." '•■■..' The other charges were withdrawn.