A LESSON FOR THE PROFESSOR!

NZ Truth, Issue 1052, 21 January 1926, Page 8

A LESSON FOR THE PROFESSOR!

John Mil|er, Like Micawber, Was Waiting i For Something to Turn Up A (k)NIGHT OF ADViJTURE IN THE BATH

, (From "Truth's" Special Wellington Representative.) John Miller, who came to these shores from the Old Country last August, calls Jiimself a "professor of French, elocution and languages generally." The police call him "an out-and-out dragon, a cadger^^ and - : i nuisance, "but so much for the disparity of human estimation.

JOHN Miller speaks with a conciseness, that carries one back to < Oxford— possibly Cambridge. He dresses just as the very ibest Gentlemen -do. ' His glasses sit om a somewhat classic nose/ - And yet John Miller, is meeting quite a lot of trouble. His appearance m the Wellington Magistrate's Court last week to answer a- tjharge of being an idle and "disorderly■' person found him indignantly eager tp refute the suggestion that he was not over- fond of work and that he had done a good deal of cadging since his arrival m the land of i the freethough not altogether .buckshee. This is how the English professor fell m and then fell out with' the police. ; j i Just before Christmas, Probation Officer, T. p. Mills, who is also actively connected with the ', Presbyterian So- ' clal Service, received a call from the professor from overseas, who explain* ,ed that he had been referred to ' Mr, Mills by a well-known, gentleman : of the .cloth, one Rev. Dr. iGibb. In Search Of Gash ; According to v Mr. Mills, his caller was m search of hard cash and he resolutely refused, the generous offer of a free bed and breakfast. \ He was out of work, r ho said, and 'wanted money to help him •' • ■ along.' . ' • ; ." ; ?; . '; _■'>■ ;/ ■ /._ : : • "-':';■'■ Mr. Mills's generosity : ceased at the offer of accommodation, and Professor Miller left for fresh fields and pastures new. : ' ; ■■■ ' :: ; ■ '' .■■ -■ ■ ■/:■ When Detective Kane was telling the Court that m one way' and another Miller was quite, a lad-shaving walked away from a tailoring : establishment and forgotten to pay foe the suit he had asked to be allowed to "try on."— the professor whistled softly in /Court. Bracing his ibe-kntckered legs in' the witness-box, John -Miller, "professor of tenglish," elocution, and languages generally," presented a picture of Injured dignity [as he endeavored to,^ submerge what the police called vagrancy by a suavity most pron'ouhced. _'• : ' . "l-um-er-represent the er-W. & T. Shipping Company, Astor House, er-Aldridge, London," he said. He added that he \ also • gathered the perquisites^ of office from the sale of Insect exterminator t and sprayers, al-

■ though he had encountered a string of ) unfortunate circumstances m the mat- '■ ter of getting a firm to take goods. I • When Fate Stepped In He had a lot to say about the individual instances m which cruel Fate had stacked the cards against him. 1 "l-er-absolutely expect £100 a month on commission;" he told \ Chief Detective Kemp. ! "As a matter of fact, I was on my '■ way to complete a deal when I was ■ er- collared by this gentleman" (the " arresting detective). He had actually paid for his room at the People's Palace, and was m possession 'of the key, when hp-> made the acquaintance <of the police. i He simply hated to call anyone' 1 a liar, he told the chief detective haughtily, but he would say that i Mr. Mills's version was "not ' correct." ;...'' ; Mr. Kemp: Mr. Mills offered you a ticket for accommodation, didn't he? — which I-errihdignantly refused. I had been seeing Dr Gibb to see if I could <, get a ppsition/as a .teacher of languages.. Great Expectations Do you know, Mr.. Bert Royle:— Yes. He's apparently a benevolent igentleman. Did you cadge 12/6 from him? —No: 1 '•■ .•■:■■ ■■': ;. ■ ■■."■■ ■■"■ . ' * , Did you get 12/6 from him?— l did • not ask hiihvfor it.. . Have you met any other benevolent gentlemen?" ! /'Canon Fielden Taylor is endeavoring to get a position for me," replied Miller. At least, lam going to put on | a concert at Upper Hutt and—" Oh! I see You're staking a lot on your concert? You have great expec-. ! tations, and like 'Micawber you are - waiting for something to turn up?— l don't like sarcasm, v Mr. Kemp: And you don't like work, | either. ■ : : Asked whether he had cadged .10/---from -the' porter at the Masonic Hotel, Miller said: "I deny that absolutely." / From Classics to Wharf Also a Mr. ; Macauley, of Trentham, had given him 12/6- ' but this was for a pint of insect exterminator.

Has. he received It yet?— No, its 14,000 miles away. Miller related how he had called on the Director of Education, Mr. Amos, of Banks College, and the Education Board m search of a position, and how he had hung- out his board as professor of languages, etc. "I was prepared to go on the wharf," he said, but did not add that he had actually done so. Mr. Kemp: Do you know the Central Hotel? — Yes, I went there on one occasion. ' 'Doped and Robbed Didn't you collapse there? — Yes, foecause I was doped (laughter). My glasses were smashed, my money was taken, and I was told to go to' hell at night." Where did you come to, then? Wasn't it m a bath ?— Yes. So you spent the day m the bath?— l am-er-a clean fellow, both inside and out and — "But," interrupted the chief detective, .completely surprising Miller, "there was no water m the bath" (laughter). "That may have been so or it may not," mumbled the defendant. He. repeated that he had been doped, and awoke to find that his pillagers had left a sixpenny piece and a threepenny 'bit m the lining of his coat. They Will Not Speak "There are plenty of fellows who could explain things for me if they were men" said Miller. Lawyer S. G Joll considered that his client had "reasonable prospects" and was doing his best to obtain work. Chief Detective Kemp, however, .put it up to the Magistrate to hand out a term of incarceration. . Miller, he said, "lived by means of cadging," and was "an out-and-out dragon and a ' general nuisance." "A conspiracy, I call it," muttered John Miller as he was led from the Court on remand m order to give his alleged friends and benefactors a chance to. rally round him. But .they never came to his aid and the Magistrate wrote this m the book before him: "Two- months, iwith hard 'labor."