THE CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 1035, 26 September 1925, Page 1

THE CRITIC

♦ If people would only pay as much attention to the inside of their heads as they do to the outside! « * '# It's a lucky skipper who can blow a whiff from his whistle these days. *- * * / An American . scientist predicts that the end of the world will come m February, 1927. There is some satisfaction to be derived from the 'fact that income tax is payable' at the end of February. But then so many of these predictions have proved false. •* * # It is not to be wondered at that "Dictation by Extremists" is resented by most people. We had a strong objection to it m oar schooldays. >(£ J S t& A suburban churchgoer complains that dogs attend the local church services. Better that the dogs should go to church than the church should go to the dogs! •" # * * It looked as though both sides m the State coal mines dispute were prepared to argue until they were black m the face. But as' the mine was idle, it is certain the black wasn't caused by coal-dust.

Australia appears to be a body of land entirely surrounded by hot water. «= * # Don't worry because you look older than you did. You are. *- * $ Among other people who don't believe all they read are reporters' wives. Another curious thing is how good luck and bad luck respectively persist m following the man who has had more than his share of it. * * * The Test: Being angry and grammatical at the same time. * ■ # .' . # "Britain's Dark Outlook." That frequent weakness we experience m hydro-electric lighting supply is not confined to. New Zealand. «- # # Another fast-disappearing old custom is that of a wife making her husband's shirts. .* 9 * The Auckland leopard has proved that one can change his spots. * * # Curious how sad the undertaker looks as he makes -money. * . * . . * It is hardly fair that big opportunities should be denied to a man because he has been kept busy looking after the little ones. * * * Some imprisoned seamen declared that "gaol is better than ships." But gaols don't score goals. *-* ■ * * "No news is good news." But not for ,the newspapers. * « # Experience teaches us that business matters should be put/in writing. But not love matters. *• * » The Prime Minister says the "limited" express is "as safe as a church." But is the Church safe? ■*#■ # ■ • A woman is as old as she looks; a man is not old until he stops looking. *' # * A correspondent professes ignorance of the meaning of the term "the eternal triangle." . For his enlightenment we may state it refers*to a man, his wife, and the man's earnings. * * # To increase your happiness, reduce your desires. •..-#.■ * * " The keenest apostle of reform is he who can. . see most evil where little exists. And he usually draws . the biggest salary. • * # # j,; A cheese, like a baby, is able to walk as it becomes stronger. ■ ■ $.'•# -»

A dreadful rumor is afloat. Some male admirers of the "permanent wave" are said to be contemplating a return to whiskers! *** . ■ Have you noticed how many successful prophets" there are that wait till something has happened and then' say: "I told you so?"- --,: #"■ " * * - • Many men who waste time wind up by doing time. ■* * * A good example is better than a good sermon. <j ■ * * Many of the most fervent singers of "There's no place like home" are those who have left it. There are also those who have never known one. They are all right.