Have You Visited the House?

NZ Truth, Issue 1030, 22 August 1925, Page 18

Have You Visited the House?

You May Keep Your Shoes on, but Do be Careful

A few facts" about the human interest s ■lightening to those who have no precincts" of the big, unfinished.! the legislators, elected and nontime. What could not^/fail to impress the newcomer is the amount of protection which the place and people appear to ; need. A policeman (very bored) patrols outside the front entrance and gazes with lack-lustre eyes at the people who pass by. . Going along with a colored string kit-bag the other day, a woman hesitated as she passed the o flicer, so earnestly did he appear to be regarding the bag. Some of the parcels which knobbily protruded MIGHT have been bombs — but he took the risk and. she went on hastily with a sort of \"guinea-pig" expression about her gait which was comic. "TAKE YOUR HAT OFF!" * ,• ■ Howe/ver, inside there are to be 'found many Impressive orderlies, .who m uniform,' and with many armydecorations, see that all men who are not members of Parliament take their hats 'oft, immediately on entering — though' the parcel and coat-laden man needs the third hand which has often been spoken of as a desirable help to humanity. There is quite a lot that is Gilbertian about Parliament. But that, again, is another story. To continue about the precautions. , Mounting the marble stairs, one comes to a long, cx-imson-carpeted corridor, and. along this the visitor walks, like Agag of Scripture, delicately, and with hated breath approaches to the Parliamentary Chamber, seeing, secluded by glass doors, another corridor leading to the Legislative Council. The doors leading into the "Talk- ' ing Shop" (as it has irreverently been called) are all locked for reasons unknown to the common people. No noise must be made, therefore the visitor must wait at whichever door she is entitled (by presenting a card df entry) to enter, and presently; another orderly appears, scrutinises the card suspiciously; then unlocks the door, lets her m, and shows her that she must not sit here or there, and gives her a lowly place, enjoining silence, for "boiled oil" would be instantly ready were a female voice, or, hoi Tors, a laugh, to be heard. RULES AND REGULATIONS. If she is extremely favored for any ' remarkable reason and gets a front seat, she must not lean her elbow on the. broad polished board which tops the gallery edge, nor must she place common cotton reel or ball* of wool on this rather tempting expanse. If, being a stranger, she commits this . offence, she is immediately tapped on the "shoulder by the orderly and made to feel extremely uncomfortable by being thus pointed out as ah offender to the 1 < assembled multitude. .She, may notice that all the galleries i .are extremely full but one which;' is

side of Parliament will prove eno opportunity of entering the "sacred concrete and marble building where -elected, pass a good deal of agreeable quite empty, and finds that no matter what the importance of the occasion, or how much public interest is exhibited, that gallery is reserved for the Legislative Councillors' — who practically never use it. The MiniSters wives' gallery is better patronised, but rumor saith that lately a, brake has been placed on the cheerful using; of this, as the ladies m question must get a ticket for their friend, and not just take her m as of yore. The visitor may, perchance, think that she would like the refreshment of tea, after having listened to an extremely dry discourse— buj: no, , there is no tea for heiy unless she ' finds favor with a member of Parliament who feels generous and sufficiently interested m her to offer her , this mild refreshment. Therefore, after having been let out of the locked door, crept along- the corridor, run the gauntlet of the orderlies and police, the visitor breathes a sigh of relief at having "free air" outside, without any regulations, and takes herself off to the neai-est tea-shop. If she wanted to go to the Legislative Council (which no one ever does) — ah, then, there are . far more difficulties — and less reward, if possiible.