The CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 1018, 30 May 1925, Page 4

The CRITIC

A new endurance test has been instituted. The woman who can. survive the winter with the least clothes wins. Short skirts, short sleeves, and short hair attract- longing looks. ii n . / ' 1 1 ' A new Chief is being chosen by the Reform Party this week. Will the disappointed ones follow the rules of the game of "Follow -my-Leader?" Patrons of the "gods" get a high idea of stage life. Have our hens been imbibing the deadly doctrine of "Go-slow?" "We inquire because some of our recentlypurchased eggs have been very dear — also dead and deadly. Firemen on the Manuka want their menu varied. They are worrying over trifles. Income tax returns.' Yes but not to the taxpayer. ".Uncle Sam is said to be worrying 'about his surplus supply of gold. It doesn't worry "Critic" personally, so there is one thing to be .thankful -for..

Bootleggers m the King Country will soon have to be gum-bootleggers. v The crew of the Manuka demanded ham and eggs for breakfast on a recent trip. The Union Company decided that provision of such luxurious fare for the crew to put down would have, justified putting the fares up, but' would not have been fair to the public so the boat was laid up. The shortest day. Usually the day before pay day. * : : : : : : "Several prominent people were presented at Court, nearly a thousand persons being present," says a cable. Some of our modest colonials are frequently presented at court. They don't mind being presented if the fine's are light I.W.W. — Insubordination well wasted. . . , It's a mistake to think that all bookmakers are. fat persons. But they have fat purses. Forty domestics pledged not to marry m New Zealand for two years Avill shortly arrive here by the lonic. "Critic" wants to know if this singular provision has made it necessary to appoint a Chief Domestic Detective for, the rigorous enforcement of this "unwritten" promise. :: :: :t Income-tax returns due by Monday. Nine months to go before the bill has to be met. The Commissioner of Taxes tempers the wind to the to-be-shorn lamb. Those "society news" columns are not interesting— until your own name appears. ■ ' The announcement that aeroplanes are assisting to break America's Prohibition laws is regarded by some people as putting the illegal business .on a higher plane. "Rum Row" is reported to have been dispersed by the United States navy.. We "hae oor doots," but there is no gainsaying the fact that Prohibition has not prohibited heavy expenditure, loss of revenue, and a heavy death toll. Who said the King Country is dry? Even horses have winning ways — when the right money is on._ No autheritic case has been recorded of a man who whistled while making out his income-tax return prior to Ist June. It is rumored, however, that m some of these cases, the man had his tongue m his cheek. Husbands who go out at night's should not complain if their wives follow suit — probably someone else's suit. Is it because they are not clever enough to get away with. cheating that some people are honest? Lots of reputations have been lost by shipbuilder's. Noah is one that managed to keep out of the wet A radio fan writes: "We have not yet obtained contact with Station S I N, .but newspaper reports indicate that it is still' operating." A knowledge of English is very desirable but we've known a lot of boys who were quick calculators do better m life's battle. "That's him," or "That's he"— or either. A little knowledge may be a dangerous thing, but not nearly so dangerous as a designing little flapper. :: :: »: Divorce would be less common if domestic accomplishments were more common. A writer m a ladies' column declares that many men use cosmetics secretly. Perhaps she has obtained "inside information.!' We do know that the other sex uses, them openly. Big titles are all right — sometimes. More often than not they endeavor to conceal the ignorance of the man that bears them. A hopeless, endeavor usually. ■■■"'-.. Women may have bad memories, but they would take a lot of beating at repeating.

A popular blend is yellow and red. The yellow worn on the fingers and the red on the lips is quite the rage. The light-headed flapper seldom makes a good match. They may have abolished the tollgates on the roads, but they haven't wiped out the toll of the road — and the road-hogJ Early to rise. — Early door patrons of the "gods.'^ '' The continued and increasing imposition of fines for breaches of bylaws and traffic regulations impresses upon people the meaning of the term: "Haul of Justice." The fetrong-willed woman may not make the best wife. But she probably makes the better husband. A little Scotch is always welcome. Sir Harry Lander is on tourOld customs die hard. Men used to go on their knees to propose to girls. They still propose to girls on their knees.

We should be thankful that few people starve m this young country. Most people manage to get a living. Some earn it It is easier to forgive an enemy if he has not told the truth about you. You can't wonder at it that there's no sentiment m business. Some must go down m order that others may go up. "Critic" doubts whether half the world cares a scrap how the other half ' lives. If . divorce is made any easier, the answer will be: Alimony. Statistics indicate that a lot of money may be made at horse-racing. But not by the punter. You will never make/ a success of card-playing until you know when to stop. "The intellectual standard of the human race is not rising," writes a scientist. He must have heard jazz music or seen jazz dancing— probably both. Many of our schools are overcrowded. As an off -set we are gradually getting greatly improved accommodation on our racecourses. Life is one thing after another. Usually the qther is what you don't want That' is called experience. :: .■':,:■■ : : I Even'if doctors don't go m for cross- I word puzzles they have to do a lot of I guessing. A wrong guess and you lose; I a right guess and you may win. I The weather forecast fast week-end I was like the weather — a howling sue- I cess. , i I It is said that men are quicker to see I the truth than 1 women. We are, not so I sure about that We know of many; I women who have held out their hand fl for "Truth" at the week-end even be- flj fore, they have asked for the household I allowance. jfl A Red-fed ■ agitator who advocates I violence is not a hero. A hero is one H who has - committed violence or done H something desperate at the proper H Most people deserve what they getMJ but few admit it — unless they havejH backed a winner. fIH It will be a bad day for the lock anc^H key industry when people really actHJ upon the old motto" "Honesty is thdJH Best,J?olicy." However, there is nJIJ falling off m the business of lockHJ specialists m either 1 " direction. JIB. The young man who on making hiflfl first call mistook the mother for thnHJ daughter was well on the road to suc-MJ cess — .until mother told the daughter. Hfl Most of us are transgressors. For-^B tunately for us, most of us are notflH caught ; fIH You have solved a big problem iflß you know (m time )when you have hacßJ enough. H| .There are lots _of Chinks througl9| which the sovereigns may escape ißj re-issued. mj No doubt the economist who statejW that more and more women are becomHß ing bread-winners is right CertainlHl more of them are bread-winning thajjH bread-baking. - Bjj Among the people who protesfiH against publication of reports of harSfl penings m real Ufe are many who revHH m the suggestive pictures m reel hSb and m the most sordid sex novels. wB You must give credit to the profeHH sional reformer who is working igSt something. But don't trust him tSB far. Remember that he is not workiJHj for nothing. jfiw Motorists have been shrieking wB better roads. Now they are promij^HJ trierrt — but they've got to pay. If thSB don't they will find that all roads flfW "fine" roads. Sounds paradoxical, Not always does youth make fiBB most of possibilities when the oppflHj tunity offers, but age is handicapifiJH by its limitations. fIH