AMONG THE BLEACHERS

NZ Truth, Issue 998, 10 January 1925, Page 11

AMONG THE BLEACHERS

Bankers And Their Banter

How Wit Outshines Dull Batting

It would be quite m order to state that the test between England and Austi-alia at Melbourne attracted, very nearly as much attention m New Zealand as the final international at Twickenham, when the All Blacks downed England.

„ At the time of writing the Melbourne test is an open proposition, but as our/ story does not deal with that event we can pass by.

The most caustic critic of the summer game is to be found on the "bank" m the Austi-alian capitals. The average banker is quick to show his appreciation of good play, but should the go-slow idea creep m that selfsame banker can be as sarcastic as it is humanely possible to be.

During the tour of the English team through Australia four years ago one or two members of the party who were acting as special correspondents to big Home papers painted the Aussie barracker as an ogre — as one who did not understand the first thing about cricket and whose main objective was to hurl abuse at one and all of the visitors.

After having been branded as such, the Aussie barracker commenced m a small way to live up to his reputation, but to show how erroneous this impression, now so firmly fixed m a lot of outsiders' minds, we republish the following from Brisbane "Truth."

The match dealt with was the Australian eleven versus England at Brisbane. Here is how "Truth's" rep. saw it:

"They were for the most part the regular racecourse crew; they were there for enjoyment — and they got it, while they created endless amusement for those within hearing.

"Quite early m the business they adopted Sutcliffe, who fielded m that part of the paddock. He could take a joke and crack one, and they made friends with him. When Ponsford and O'Connor were putting on that 115 for the first wicket, Sutcliffe was asked, did he think his team would ever get them out? He thought they would have to be burnt out.

"One thing they didn't understand was why a short stroke to where there was no fieldsman, sometimes brought two runs, while another, stopped almost on the boundary; only recorded a single. It was duly proposed, seconded, and carried unanimously, that the rules be altered, and that points be allotted for yards. "When somebody recalled the fact that Ponsford had been./ bowled first ball by Hamilton at practice on the previous day, it was agreed that there should have been an inquiry into his reversal of form — Purser, they said, got twelve months for less than that. "They wished the name of Glaxo •■. on Tyldesley, but he took it goodhumoredly. Howell had a smile for everything they fired at him, but Chapman wasn't quite so friendly. • "Douglas, the chap who commandeered the alphabet, was subjected to a deal of barracking, m the beliei that he was what was termed a "Noah's Ark" on it, but when he put them wise by a simple little gesture, they declared him on their side. "When Richardson requested the sightboard to be shifted, someone suggested that the Queenslanders would be coming- at that next, now they had, been woke up to what it was for, "That old one with whiskers, 'Johnny won't hit to-day,' raised a hearty laugh when a wag added, 'No nor to-morrow either, by the way these chaps are batting,' and Johnny was advised to cable for a bowler. "Hendry, who was christened "Stork," was claimed by a fellow from that State as a .Victorian.' 'You for a bath,' he was told; 'he was born m Sydney.' 'That's more his misfortune than his fault,' came the retort; It seemed as if the request of these barrackers to Hendry to hit the run needed to make the first day's score 300, brought about the downfall of the batsman, for he swung viciously at one from Freeman, and just tipping it, was out. "The second day found the same crowd m the same place. It was hot as Hades with the lid off, and, the scoring was as slow as the. Boonah train. , "Thompson and Taafe became associated m a partnership which added 3.70 to the total. The former became 'Bluey' to the boys, and the latter 'Toffee,' which seemed rather approprite m view of the way he stuck. Not m the least perturbed by the barracking, Thompson plodded along m a weary way, waiting for th-3 occasional loose one. Taafe was even slower. v "Mf this is cricket, give me ludo,' said a bored -looking 'bloke,' as he and his mate got up to leave. The latter said it wasn't exciting enough, and that he was going for ' a ride on a hearse. \ "Howell nearly bowls Taafe, and throws up his hands m disgust when the ball misses the wicket. 'Bad luck, but don't Howell,'- roars a raucous voice.

"A. chap who is keeping the score m his souvenir, is found to differ by one run with the official board. 'How do you expect him to be able to count right,' said someone; 'he's shy a couple of fingers on one hand.'

"Whether the amateur or the official was meant, I was unable to find out, for a new arrival wanted to know if this was a test. 'Yes/ he was told; 'an endurance test.'

"Thompson was told he should go to America, where they are exploiting the slow-motion stuff. .

"Neither of the batsmen look like getting out. Tate brings some liquid refreshment out to the players, and Johnny is advised to put him on to bowl.

"One of the umpires goes off for a few minutes, and there is much speculation as to* the reason.

"Somebody outside the fence asks the score, and several of the boys stuck their bibs over the top to tell him. One turns and yells, 'There's a likely-looking bowler out here, Johnny; but he's short of the two bob.'

"Whysall had been fielding m place of Sandham, and one of the leatherlunged crew spotted him. 'Give lysol a bowl, Johnny; you've had him bottled up a long while,' he yells.

"Douglas fails* to respond to the cry of 'We want Sutty,' and goes on himself. Every ball is dead on the wicket, and he is, informed that he'd be sweet if somebody choked the batsmen and took the bats _ off them. He was advised to blindfold 'em; also to get a load of wood and burn 'em out, or get a mustard plaster and draw 'em out.

"As Thompson nears his- 100. they become violently excited. He reaches the century, and is then advised to have a go at the bowling.

"They again plead for Sutcliffe to be put on to bowl, and tell Johnny he is wanted on the 'phone.

' Then they take Thompson on again, and at last, m response to their barl'acking to have a go, he does. Hie has two goes, m fact, and at the second is caught by Sutcliffe, and retires with 114" on his score sheet and half the' pitch on his strides. He has a habit of rubbing his hands m

the dust and then wiping them on his pants.

"'Now, will you give Sutcliffe a bowl?' Douglas is asked, when the applause had died down. The captain walks over, and shakes hands

with Sutty,

the barrackers

threaten to burst their lungs. "Hornibrook comes m. 'Have a lick, or we'll count you out,' he was told. 'That 36 you got has gone to your head.' He had a lick; a four; and is immediately on good terms with the crowd.

" 'Put Sutty on.' Again they yell it; and Sutcliffe, with the ball m hand, walks towards the bowling end, swinging his aim.

"They cheer, which, however, is turned to a moan as Sutty slings the ball to Howell. It was a joke on the bunch of barrackers.

"Howell is told that 'Hornibrook is fruit for the sideboard.' Sutcliffe smiles. They had explained the meaning of this slang phrase to him m a confidential chat on the first day.

"An argument arises as to whether the test matches are to be played to a finish. 'I hope they don't play this to a finish; a man'll go broke paying two bob to get in.'

"The innings ends. Douglas inspects the wicket, and while doing so, is requested to give Sutcliffe a bat, as he hadn't given him a bowl. As Sutcliffe went off the field, they chorused, 'Bat all day tomorrow, Sutty; we want to see

you Monday.'"

The above is a typical selection of the banter offered from the bankers, arid who will say it is harmful? Yet Wilson and Fender did?