The Critic

NZ Truth, Issue 998, 10 January 1925, Page 1

The Critic

. Thfe' worse the Christmas- cigar, the longer it lasts. ■. ''■'::'■ :: :: Looks as though some writers have not attended a school where they teach the art of losing gracefully. Migrants continue to arrive from England; and more are coming. They are assisted by my grant and your grant. Let us hope they are grateful and will' not take it for granted.

Cables report a demand for silver m Europe. "Critic" noticed the existence of the demand m New .Zealand, also, during the holiday season, but some of the tip-seekers did not appear tp be satisfied 'with small silver.

You supply proof that you are wronu if you think you have a monopoly of common-sense.'

' The iLekgue of ' Nations is about to settle the housing problem — for itself.

The voice of the people, is sometimes imaginary and other times it is reminiscent of Babel.

"Where is Trotsky? Mystery of his Fate." So say the cable headings. We expect to read them again. ' Remember how many times Lenin died (per cablefable) before he died! < '

: : : : 1 1 The overseas youngsters may not ne able 'to teach 'Mother how to utilise suction for the purpose of extricating the contents of hen -fruit, but they Jo seem to /know something about Rugby football and cricket.

:: :: .. :: Most winners like to play another game. More widowers than widows re-marry, we are told.

Berlin cables announce that "Dr. Marx has/ accepted an invitation to form a non-Party Government." Save the marks! ■•

It is understood that an award for valor Is to be .jniade to the gentleman who sacrificed a bottle of beer to extinguish an incipient fire m the cricket pavilion at' Melbourne last Saturday. Who shall say; there is no virtue m beer? ; ! ■

A "sharp fall m butter" was reported early m the New.: Year. No doubt it was the hot weather. "Critic" noticed the heat, but not any fall In the price of butter. *

s s • .'• : : , ; :: Theatrical people agree that New Zealand is "God's Own Country" because the word "criticise'^ is not known. It has been/ replaced by "eulogise." The criticism is left to the gods m their own country. , .

. ':: .' ; ■ '"■ :: . /• ■' ]■■:: '■:'■-'■ '.•': Recent hold-ups and short- notice strikes seem to indicate that some seamen prefer to be landmen. ■ j ■.'■..■ fS -.''•■■-..■■' '•'• ■ ■' ■ . ■;" ■. Several Correspondents m the daily press have been complaining that there is no advantage m buying' ordinary return tickets on the railways. They should get m touch with Conan Doyle, the best-known authority on return tickets arid their advantages; "Some of your merry quips s lead me to suspect that you are not a Prohibitionist," writes "Old Admirer." If "Old Admirer" desires confirmation of his suspicions, "Critic" is prepared to make a level-pegging appointment' on a date and limit to be arranged. 'The cute little thing" to-day, if encouraged, becomes infernally impudent next week. The Germans are keeping their hands, m at 'fighting/, ;'Their NevTiYear's Eve was the wildest on record-7-riqts and fights m plenty.; ' Ariierica was a close second, with stray pistol shots arid the even more deadly "synthetic spirits," In arriving at a decision to loyally support Party this year, politicians will no doubt carefully study first on which side their bread is buttered. It was on a Sydney-bound boat and some Aussies and New Zealanders were m converse. Quoth one: "Who said Tests?" With one voice came the reply: "We all did." And, verily, they did duly test. :: ■ ,' ' :: . :: Beware of the man whose motto is: "Let us be up and doing." ,If might 1 be you he'll do. : • , If your business doesn't succeed you are decried as a' failure. If it does, you are condemned as, a profiteer. Moral: If you succeed, don't let everyone know. '

Fewer bad debts would be incurred if many of the people who put up the .biggest claims to be most deserving of credit didn't get it. -

Some people get the credit they deserve without pursuing it. Others get credit they don't deserve and have, to be sued.

Don't disturb the disagreeable man who lives alone. He is the kind of kind man to be left alone. What a lot of men are barefaced liars! And those with beavers also offend. : > . Is the world becoming more moral? It is some months since the introduction of a new dance naughty enough to become popular. . . a :: . . !• One advantage of asking for advice is that it , help's you to decide what not to do. - ' v One way of gaining popularity .is to .find out what the other fellow thinks— and then agree with him. \ Some people drink whisky neat. Others take it with water or soda. They all imbibe a lot of good water. Perhaps it is as well that fruit is very expensive at present. Too much of it is bad. The stay-at-home man who protests that he got nothing put of the war should be thankful that „Le got out whole. " ' • ' ' ■'■■'•. ■ ■■;•'. ....;;■.. Disquieting rumors are going, about concerning life at the Wigram aero- j drome. "Critic" is reliably informed that the aviators there have a high old time when the weather is suitable. It is a mistake to think the charge depends upon the work of the taxirmeter. You must simply trust t6 the taxidriver arid hope for the best, even if you distrust him arid fear the worst. Some single men fail' m business, but the "double" merchant is /-always on a win. ■ ; M ;'' :■:' ■.'■.• si '' The more swell-headed you are, the more people seem impudent. , The old saying that "a word to the wise is sufficient" is either not believed m by some severi-day-a-week orators, or else they consider their audiences are mugs. t: i: :: Too, much money is wasted m the search for old fossils m ancient land*. Plenty are closer at hand at much les.3 cost. :: :: :: Some character-readers— and some quite ordinary folk— can .tell at a glance what kind , of past a girl ' is going to have.