THE CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 946, 12 January 1924, Page 1

THE CRITIC

. Cables report that a London spinster has left a "substantial legacy for cats." Surely ,the nasty- tongued* folk don't need any encouragement I , a :: ?: i Leap year. Look out, boys, if the warning is not too iatel i: t: ■ • ■: H ■' V British newspapers suggest that Germany's appeals for her < starving people are only--.!, political dodge. V A Dodge to help them over the Ford? T s! ' .';.. . j:-- - - : t: Supreme Court vacation is on, but you can raise the devil any time. Keeping aloof has brought America many loaves. It is the only place where "ohe big union" has paid so far. i« st « 'n - As you' grow old you get less excited. You are ducky if you don't— •don't grow old and get less excitedSome Labor leaders would have us believe that civilisation means restriction of initiative. That is certainly what Socialism and Communism mean. . :/. a' '. ■-.- •»: --Til' . You are niot an educated man unless you can name the members of the Ministry— and give a reasonable explanation. i: ;s j | Some day the reckless motorist will remember that he is risking his oar when he is running Into trouble, such as a tram or a passing pedestrian. {

Italy is well behind America m creating a new decoration — the Star of Merit America's most prized possession has the merit of being decorated with three stars. "That mysterious ray" which la reported to be capable of putting aeroplanes out of action is the antithesis of the Yankee tune yclept, "That mysterious rag," which used to put plain people into action. if

"Another Greek Cabinet resigns." They know how to write, these Greek Ministers, for thoy. .sign-on, sign-off • and resign with great rapidity,

The less change there is m women's clothes the more there ia m men's.

Some men become talkative when they drink. Most Prohibitionists have tho advantage over them. Tho Prohibs. are at least equally talkative without incurring tho coat involved' in indulgence m the flowing bowl. tt t: .1 A brain (a no stronger than its weakest think. :: t: tt Wonder if Columbus and his merry men would have inflicted the discovery of America on the world if they had known the land would one day turn dry (?). :: :; :» To tho ladyj who signs herself "A short life and a merry one" and who seeks to Justify the purchase of costly fur coats "Critic'! would point out that the climate m the next world may be, too warm for her to require a fur coat covering and that meanwhile the fur coat style may change and your outfit may be useless — on earth or la — — % i it v Most of our fair friends cost us a lot of money— Just like railway fares, i: »♦ *t It is good to know that when the price of petrol drops it costs less to got run over. tt -II II Our civilisation. Wool prices «p: more fllvverlsatlon. tt t: tt If a child performed some of tho facial contortions wo witness at -the movies ho would be punished for making faces. The movie artists, however, are licensed to contort In order to register emotions. :: ■ !$.-•'■ :.-_:- Remember when yQU think it*- touch to havo to pay a shilling a pound for steak that it would be tougher if it cost [ sixpence. j tt tt tt . There would not be so many dentists lif wo lived In Biblical "tooth for a tooth" times. It's very one-sided I nowadays, j ...'lt--: tt tt .< ' I Another advantage ot spending an ! hour or two dally In m.dltntion and ! prayer Is that you aro not spending much else. t! :t tt Lengthen skirts and you will tee less of the shins of society. tt :t tt More boose records broken In America. Great place for records. Hall Columbia! tt tt tt "AH over the country the New Year opened auspiciously," says a New York cablegram. Apparently many bottles were opened lesa auspiciously than usual for we aro told: "Liquor was n«ver more easily available nor of better quality." It Is time they had »ix o'clock closing "over there!"

The eternal triangle: Found m all circles, : , ... tt :s tt , . , Making millions is profiteering; CHv^ ing them back is philanthropy. ' .'tt' -. . . • tt . :!"■■■'■ To "Inquirer": "F. 03." is a shipping* trade term. It does not necessarily in-' dicate "Full of Booze." tt S-S - Si ', "Crltlo" is inclined to agree with the henpecked man. who advocated respect for the rights of minorities, s: sj ,t* ■",'■ _ It will be worth celebrating when there is a real Armistice Day la Europe. T ' ' . : . ■ ' .tt ■ ts is The irreconcilable Ir___ still stand Pat. tt :t ss' '• "Are wages too high?" asks a dolly paper editorially. How ridkulousl tt :t tt Retrenchment m Samoa has been ordered. Wonder if any of th* heads wi'l be combed out? t: ts •• Charlie Lucas, they say, is bringing George Cook, the heavyweight, back to Australia, and is also taking Ernie Rice, ex- lightweight champion of the Cold Country, out to the warm oneRice, of course, is no uso wit-toot a> cook. ' ■. tt ts ti ■■ It isn't those who like to stop work ovhen they like; it's those who Like '„ N>rk when they stop.

Some sane writera In England hare advocated that Labor should ba given & triaL Why not if it deservea It? And It should also be condemned if itj i* found guilty.

:t t: Ireland's fight has not ceased. The Free State and de Valera are now fighting to gain control of half a million sterling subscribed m America for party funds. Looks as though / do Valera would be less handicapped were ho m a free state and not the guest of a Free State. :: :s " Education may bo more thorough to-day than it waa a generation or two ago, but they knew more about multiplication then than we do.

If certain olllclals In the dlplomatlo and civil service resign when the British Labor Party assumes offlce It will prove how well-founded was the old gibe that these persons do not enter these services for labor. ' tt tt tt "Be more modest" is tho advice of a German paper to Germans. But to ask a German to avoid swank is to set a task more difficult than compliance with reparation obligations. Now, If Germany had lost the wart tt tt tt Rattled statesmen seem likely to be more dangerous than the ex -Kaiser's rattled sabre. *t 1 1 tt Militarists put their faith In srm«« Labor leaders rely on their tongues. The conscientious objector trusts to his knees* The profits go to the "heads." t: t: tt * The greatness of some of our big business men disappears when yoa se. them frolicking at the seaside, however, a largo proportion of them, still looks big. tt tt it Modern girls need Instruction In shaking bands, sitting down, bowing, standing, and walking, says a wellknown dancing instructor.— No fear, not m sitting down. it tt tt . _ "Germany, will .proceed Tillth . Uxs construction of her navy later," says a coble.— This will be on event of mark. tt it t: --. The rate of pay of the British soldier, according to a current paragraph Was "raised from 8d to 1/- a day li. 1795, and he had. to wait 123 years for his next increase." Hope he didn't mako a beast of himself when he did get it, after waiting all that while. • tt tt tt When they shaped Italy like a. boot they must have known that the IV. us* •ollni era was coming. .is t: :t The man Who was "persuaded" by his wife to attend a lecture on "Poets of the. Past" was quite bucked up when he saw so many other men there with their wlvek There is some comfort In having companions m distress. tt tt it Men who fight for their rights and succeed generally find more tights to fight for. »t it tt If the Commissioner of Taxes we*, able to tax kisses I tt it tt As a general rule Intensive propaganda is most favored by the sme that need* it most—often the »« wim the weakest case. «» Jl ,f __. No wonder many actresses smox*. They are to used to puffs.