THE CRITIC

NZ Truth, Issue 943, 22 December 1923, Page 1

THE CRITIC

Now, boys and girls, old and young, Be Good — or Appear to be Good if you can't be better. After Christmas you may Relax a little. Then, Top-gear till the end of the year when you will Turn over a New Leaf. c Or will Make up your Minds to turn it. v And then? Carry on — as Usual. .. .. V '•! Waimate "Advertiser" is the latest influential journal to furnish an instance of unsatisfactory judging. After recording a dead-heat at a recent race meet it adds: "Half a neck .between the deadheaters." :: t: :: Family ties are strengthened at Christmas. But some of them are too strong. You don't dare wear them, except m wet leather when- you have your overcoat buttoned up. The spirit of Dickens at Christmas — Cork-Scrooge. /

Last year she gave him an expensively bound copy of "Tho Perfect Gentleman.-' This year 'she sent him a cheap edition of "Wild Animals I _£ay« Met.'.' : '■>- -*' ■■■,■•• .*» • • • One way fo wipe out a lot df Christ-mas-present -giving, would be to make the Income tax payable just before the festive season; _„ . Peoplo who have friends fond of ghosts should present them with copies of the classics this Christmas. » • is. i t A footnote In a Wellington daily to a cable message declaring that a revolution had broken out ln Mexico, explains that this country "has not had a revolution for three years." It appears as if Mexico has reverted into a state of moral, and political stagnation* You shrewd business heads can gel away with a lot of things, but it is getting harder every year to palm yourself off as a real Santa Claus merely by looping a set of unconvincing v^hiskers ovar your ears.

A Papuan settler down for Christmat says that a splendid cloth, suitable for ladies' dresses, can be manufactured from banana fibre. They should bo easy to slip on! Don't be hard on the kiddles |n tho festive season because they do the things you used to do. tt IS ti The Soviet Trade Commissioner m London is Rakovskl, No doubt a member of the great Rakeoff family who aro famed for Russian up the profit here. 11 S! IS Reads a Wolllngton dally: "Serbia, or the Serb, Croat and Slovan State, has nn area of 88,134 square miles and a population of more than 12 miles." Sounds a bit farfetched. Boys growing up have little cause To worry or to grieve, When they've m placo of Santa Claus A pretty Christmas Eve. s i 5 j : : A British visitor to the Ruhr writing of tho gloominess of the district and Its people last week said: *1 have not heard a Dingle German laugh." No doubt tho married ones were m tears. At the recent wool sales no Po" t {" clans wero prominent buyers. b»tiu» undcrstodd that there nr© still targe supplies of wool m political circus suitable for pulling ov«r eloctors* eyea.

"Hoaxed by a woman." — Big heading to a cable messago In the dailies. Surely that sort of thing is too common to be worth cabling. Modern fallacy: That a doctor or a lawyer "gives" advice Suggested for the Christmas "waits"! ••God rest ye» merrie gentlemen; May nothing you dismay*; For all your bills for Christmas giftes Won't come 'til New Year's Day!" j« r: tx According to a Wellington daily a man hn* coma In conlJiet with th-a police because he 'aea luted" a returned soldier "Critic" hopes this Isn't another set-back to the ILS.A. .Surely It is not breaking tho law* to give a digger a salute! If you want your friends to havo a merry Christmas don't send them copies of Hansard. t» :: • * The better wo know somo men th* more we marvel at the patience of their wives. s: t: it "Gold mine dumps provide material for bricks." We often wondered where those gold ricks came from. it st it And new, dear tens of thousands ef readers, let vi unite m paying homage te the season's Eternal Trlanole— » Eat, 1 D(4nk and bi M«»yl