Whiskers And The Weather

NZ Truth, Issue 943, 22 December 1923, Page 5

Whiskers And The Weather

THE FASHION OP FATHER CHRISTMAS.

(By "Kifbo,")

Wearily he emptied his second longun and changing his elbow on the bar lent towards tae, a tired, dejected man of middle age. That he had Been better days was the impression to be had from his frayed coat m contradistinction to his manner of wearing it.

"ttot, isn't is?" I observed. "Yes. sir, it is h6t," he replied testily, "the hottest day I've had for a while. By the Whiskers of Father Christmas I was glad to get into these clothes." , A M , "Why, what have you been up to?" "Up .to, my friend? I've been up to the regions of fable and romance and they're infernally hot. I'm that wretched old bird, the commercial Father Christmas, destined to foam about up*, holstered ln four-foot whiskers and a long, red robe that a Hindoo would welcome m Alaska and I've got to be cheery and benevolent to the hordes of children and always keep an eye on the main chance. Come m to-morrow and have a look and ask yourself why the old man only makes a visit onoe a year." Next day I Saw him. On his mouth rested a ghastly set expression of commercial benevolence as he waded about m an ocean of ecstatic children, but from his eye gleamed a sinister look that foreboded evil to the fabulous old bird who had set the fashion if ever this impersonator might perchance | catoh him by the whiskers as he emerged from a chimney. Perapirlnfc | through the heavy coating of chalk ' over his face he skipped ln an elephantine way towards a bunch of children intent on the pile of sixpenny dolls, and I left. And as I wended my way to a place where goods might be bought for lining stockings I reflected on the slavlshness to tradition that binds us, m a young country where Christmas occurs ln summer, to a long-whiskered, old fogey attired m furs. Why should we' not havo the generosity emanating

from an athletic young cricketer m flannels or a muscular young man In bathing costume. Why not, Indeed? Why not associate Christmas cheer with the bursting health and vigor of youth rather than with crabbed old age and decrepitude?

Anyway, the fable is bound to be destroyed fpr the time 19 not far distant when the Arbitration Court will have before it the whole question of the length of Father Chrlstmas's whiskers and the suitability of fur robes In summer and disgruntled commercial Father Christmases will be registered with flourish of tin trumpets and an announcement that a minimum whisker length has been declared.