"TRUTH" TALKS

NZ Truth, Issue 873, 19 August 1922, Page 4

"TRUTH" TALKS

WITH THE MAN AT THE CORNER

ABOUT POLITICS, PELF, AND PEOPLE

Orphans, politics, extremist employers and choice Chinese are among the topics of the day discussed by "The Man at tha Corner" this week. ■

ONCE TOO ORPHAN.

"Do you know anything about Bohemianism, 'Truth'?" "Well — cr — not m recent times." "Then you didn't honor the Orphans with your presence when his Excellency the Governor was entertained?" "No; but we suppose it was a good, bright show, as usual." "Look here, you have got the Orphans all wrong; it was not a bright show by any means, and the scramble for supper was disgraceful, to say the least of it" "We always thought that the ranks of the Orphans contained some of the 'very best' people. It sounds as though you might be able to tell us something very interesting about this korero. Go ahead.". "Right-o! Well, to begin with, about 600 men . crowded into a Kail which would not hold more than 200 comfortably. Everybody smoked, and the. screen they put up would beat anything seen m the North Sea during the war. Viscount Jellicoe would not admit that much. When v the Govern-or-General came through the haze everybody stood up, of course, but when they sat down again they were treated to a commonplace programme. When the items were halfway through, the Big Chief Orphan, himself a very" g-ood fellow, said: 'We will now adjourn to supper preceded by his Excellency. It was a good job his Excellency was , permitted to go first, otherwise he would never have reached the king-table. The rest 'engaged m a mad scramble for a glass of beer, a cup of coffee, a sandwich, or a quarter of a cold meat pie. Everybody, except the president and the chief guests, stood on- the floor of the supper room and nobody could lift a cup or a glass without splashing the contents on the floor or over a neighbor. I said it was disgraceful, 'Truth,' and so it was. It was also disgusting. Therte was not (enough, food to go round — whatever the cause, possibly economy measures." "Do you think his Excellency was thoroughly at home m such a muddle?" / "He looked a bit bored after supper, especially when one Orphan told some ancient Casey stories, and at twenty minutes to eleven the chairman announced that his Excellency had been' called away; his car had come to take liim home."

"Did he look pleased at the news?" "He did not make any bones about gojnff, and although he said he was sorry, many Orphans were just a little suspicious. One of these was Colonel ' Collins, who temporarily took charge of the meeting-. He said: 'On one occasion when we entertained Lord Islington I had the honor to preside. It was my duty to inform, him that he had been called away — his" car was waiting. His reply was: "Damn the car; I'm enjoying- myself".' " "You infer that Viscount Jellicoe did not enjoy himself?" "Exactly. And I don't see how he could have enjoyed himself under the circumstances." "No doubt youv ventilation effort will bring about improvement at the next korero." A TIP TO THE TAX MAN. "It's pretty hard-., for an unskilled worker to get anything to do these times," remarked the visitor. "Yes, we believe it is. Money is not very plentiful just at present and the Government does not seefn. to have any to spare to provide work for more of those now idle." "You're right there. But look here. If Bill Massey would give me a job m the Income Tax Department. I'll guarantee to earn my salary twenty times over." "How would you do it?" "Well, I'll tell you.-. This is to-day's paper I have. Let me read you an advertisement — BUTCHERS— ■ £ 15 WEEK CLEAR PROFIT. Best proposition m Auckland. Cash trade £65 week. Going • concern. Plant, lease, stock, £680. Now what do you think of ■that?" "It reads all right if the statements can be borne out." , "Yes, of course it does; now listen to this — Up-to-date confectionery and fruit, situated m busy shopping centre; 6 good living rooms; present 'profits, £12 per week, double m summer; lease 4 years, rental £2. Price, £500.. "That; reads all right, too, doesn't it?" "Yes, but I cannot see why you want to read such advertisements to me, 'Truth' is not thinking of going into business as a butcher or confectioner." J "No," but don't you tumble? One chap says he makes £15 a week clear profit and the other chap puts his down at £12 profit. The question is: How much do they pay m income tax?" "Ah, I tumble now. Hold on a minute. Where are you going?" "Around to the Commissioner of Taxes for that job!" THE WISE MAN IN THE EAST. "The political busy-bodies are becoming very active m Wellington." "We haven't noticed it particularly." "No, perhaps not; but "there are many underground rumblings with perhaps an explosion or two to follow." "Dissension m the --ranks, eh?" "Bound to be. Dr. Newmans recent announcement that he would again contest the Wellington East seat has come as a severe blow to Reform stalwarts m his electorate." "Why? 'He is a good sport — a happy, genial old fellow." "Yes. But consider him as a statesman." - "What's your idea? We never connect the word 'statesman' with New Zealand politics. The day of the statesman seems to have gone as far as this little country is concerned. Here we have political opportunists by the score." "It is hardly fair to count the doctor among them." "We don't. He has a fine record of public service." "Maybe, but the Reformers fear the loss of the seat if Dr. Newman carries the Reform banner." /'That is to say the Reformers m the East?" , "Yes; they see the writing on the wall and it tells them that the genial doctor is no longer capable of engaging Labor m a strenuous campaign. Besides, he is on the fence." „ "Not a straightout, honest-to-gbod-ness, blind 'follower of William Massey?" "Not by any means. He is more often than not a thorn m the Government's side." . "And who would the Reformers have m his' place?" "They are waiting for the opportunity to rush m with Tom Forsyth, of glad, rags and education fame; — and Tom would put up a great fight."

"He would need to. Labor reckons it has a rare chance m the Bast, and has pinned its faith m A. L. Monteith as the man to do the job." "The man who tried to bluff the City Council with the threat of a tramway strike?" "The same, but hot too much of the blutt, How about Tom Wilford's party m the East?" "Can't tell you for certain yet. C. B. Norwood's name has been mentioned freely as a likely candidate, but I can't get a very direct line as to his politics." "Sorry we can't help you. We only know him as the Man who ' Municipalised the Milk Supply." "You may remember - that not long before the last election -he presided over a Liberal 'rally* held m the.Wellington Town Hall. Some day he might ooms . out into the political arena proper. .Whether it will be as a Lib. -Lab. I can't say. Might tell you some more later," . „ . . "How about Len McKenzie?" "He's dding t well as a| chemist." ' SOMETHING* FOR SUTHERLAND. "Had a letter from 'Bus' Sutherland the other day." "Who's, Sutherlan d? " .',.'..... ' "Don't you ever go to sports? THe was a champion m anything connected .with field sports, wrestling, tossing tha caber, throwing- the javelin, heaving the discus — a great fellow. Used to work upstairs m the Post Office, j but they handed him a choice of going out on the road at a reduced wage or collecting what was due and winding: up his account." "What then?" . "He wound up and was down and out till the Springboks heard about it. They went -to market and wanted to know why a Government with sense treated a man with physique like his m that way, and, 'moreover, opined that if the' New Zealand Government could not do better than that the S.A. Government could, so they packed, him up with the rest of them and took him aboard." "In the Post Office over there?" "No. He was held up for want of a passport at Albany arid missed the Springboks' boat, but he caught the next and was welcomed with a brass band when he: did pjet ashore. He's somewhere m the back ■ country just now learning farming -or mining just as the Springboks promised he would if he would agree to give them a lift with field sports over there." "Any chance of his coming back?" "Well, he says that he does not like the country and the parch, but I expect he is set by now." "I don't suppose he would take on postie work here if he did come back." "What a rotten joke." "I hear told that still more -are to •be given the same sort o$ choice." "Apparently so, but they are not all Sutherlands and some of them are m for a bad spin. Of course, if they can last out a year or two they will be all right, the Government will have to stock up again sometime or other just' as it has always done after spasms of retrenchment." "Oh, we'll, maybe they have something put by." "Yes, maybe they haye — not." THE EXTREMIST EMPLOYER. "I have been very pleased to dee 'Truth' hitting up the employer extremist as well as the Labor extrem-. ist," proceeded the "Man at the Corner." . "We shall continue to take the same attitude." ./■.:•_ -..-.■.-. -.•:■. "And you'll have every decent man m the country >at the back of you." "But what have you m your mind at the moment?" "I'll tell you. It's a case of a man worth goodness knows how many thousands, of pounds who is doing 'his utmost to take a mean advantage of the unemployment situation and to add to the discontent of the workers." "Who is he? What are the circumstances?" "I'll let the facts speak for themselve^. They come to me from an old friend of mine who is a (hard worker and is trying to earn a crust at igorse- cutting- m the North Island. Here's his letter. He writes: Tm still digging away at the gorse. Now you can let your editor know about this. The cove I'm working for is known all around here as a hard man. Well, he is, and damned hard, too. Last summer, when labor was scarce, he paid £ 8 per acre to get this gorse grubbed. The chaps that were on i% asked for a rise, but. he declined and told them straight that m the winter men would be plentiful and he would get it. done for a fiver an acre. Two of the chaps were returned soldiers,. He cut the price to £5, then. raised it. 10s; but' all the time the chaps ' would start and throw the job m • as they couldn't pay tucker bills. So he rose it again to £6. It was that when I started. Now, I can do ( a. good day's work, but the stuff is so bad to get out that m a few days j two of us could only knock out half a chain square between us, so we grot all the chaps together — 14 of us all told — and we decided to go for a rise. We went to his house that night and after a lot of argument he ■ decided to think it over and let us, know m the morning. Another big argument the next day resulted m the price being raised to £7. Now, what was his game? It is leasehold property and comes through the Public Trust. They allow him £7 per acre, we believe. ; What was his game dropping the price to us? At £ 7, it's 14s per chain, and I'll be very lucky *if I can averag-e half a chain. That's 7s per day-.— in fact, I don't think I 'Can quite do that much. He's : going, to knock- us off : soon and save the rest for next winter. Yet he's worth thousands!' ' "Worth thousands of kicks "we should say."' "It's a pity there isn't some law to deal with' him." ' . . "There might be one now. Get your friend to write to the Public Trust Office to start with. They've got a sympathetic head there who'll stand no philandering." CHU-CHIN-CHOW. "Is our civilisation a failure, or is the Caucasian played out? Not by a long chunk.'i "More rats, this morning?" "No, though they are alleged to be a staple article of food with the Chows. What we were getting, at is the undue publicity that is beng given to the . wily Celestial. He's having altogether too much limelight

thrown on him. Only the other clay we found the Mayor and other big-wig-s kowtowing with three Panjandrums with little round red buttons on the tops of their hats -who are alleged, to represent the Chinese Parliament. 'Truth' didn't know before that China had a Parliament almost

as big as its alphabet, and is just disposed to wonder if Harry Holland and Dr. Thacker and E. Page-Lee, with a hyphen, were to go to China if the Emperor would prostrate himself at their toes and spoon-feed them with rice and rats or whether their heads wouldn't be stuck on poles to ornament the walls of Pekin." "Yes, come! to think of it I noticed the Patea paper the other day spreading all over a valedictory report, of a-^ farewell social given to Mr Ho Wemg,^ who^iad gathered up. all his she}relsi and was off to China to look for hispoor pa, who had been captured by rebels and taken into the interior— of the country, not of the rebels. This " filial effort, according to the Press, was likely to cost Wo Hong his life several times over as well as all his cash. Still, I think I'd have a ticket on Wong." "Quite apart, however, Hoo much at tention is being paid to the Chow m general. He is held up as i model law-abiding citizen and an epitome of all the virtues of economy and thrift As a matter . of fact, takeV by axui large, he is the most flagrant illustration of the whited sepulchre that w« have m our midst. A fair front anrt a foul backyard about describes the average Chinese premises it'<* i»£ about up to the Government to treble the poll tax and. quadruple the dtm culties of the education P test as : cl JP }° tto™}?*f o ™}?* thQ influx of the^ undesirable aliens." weso