HUMOR IN GRIM WAR.

NZ Truth, Issue 508, 13 March 1915, Page 2

HUMOR IN GRIM WAR.

KITCHENER'S CALL.

It has been suggested that the Dominion Government should display bold advertisements (like the famous Kitchener poster) on the 'hoardings, outsido hotels, etc., appealing" for more men m the fighting line. — News item. The boozer staggers from the wall: ; Those. sad, stern eyes his soul appal, As from the pictured, lips the call Comes clarion-like and clear 5 . " He whines: "Hold on! Well,~.blow me . tight! You've got a blooming cheek, all right! Want ME, you say, to go and flght? I'd, rather have a beer." ( THE SHRINKING' KAISER.

Accounts received from Dutch sources stated that the Kaiser seems to have shrunk since the war started. When a bioscope film depicting him visiting his troops was shown at Amsterdam a murmur ran round the house,' "How" small he has become!" — , Cable cram,. v Old Kaiser Bill is shrinking fastHe's smaller every day, And with each Allies' victory, Fades gradually away. His boots are now too large for him, His helmet's 1 twice too big, ' And 'ere <ihe- end he'll look a "dwarf • ; Iri some great glant'STlj?? ' •' ' ■' T ' THE MAN BEHIND THE GUN.', i

Germany boasts of her "Iron Chancellor," but Britain has. a "Golden Chancellor" m Mr. Lloyd George, vrho was called on to provide the sinews of war for our fighting force* at the rate of , £46,000,000 per month. — Dally paper. Far off on Europe's battle fields The hero's deads are done; But the Chancellor with his Budget shell Loads up the British gun. Our fighting boys and Allies brave Will make tho Germans run; But tho man who llnds the money Is the man behind tho gun. JAPAN GIVES THE "GLAD EYE."

Japan 1b satd to bo casting covetous eyes on tho Philippines. A stream of i Japanese lmmigruntß is pouring into i th,o inlands. — Dally paper. 1 Tho Jap on the Philippines cast his ! eye, , - I And he ogled hard, and he heaved a • . sigh, 1 As ho sang, "My love, I'd be glad to die For the favor of one of your smiles. You're a lovely pet I'd liko to got. And If God is Rood, I'll havo you y«t. My little Philippine Isles."