TANGLED TALK.

NZ Truth, Issue 473, 11 July 1914, Page 3

TANGLED TALK.

(From "Truth's" Dunedin Rep.)

The local Sal varmy folk have been Instructed that a brand new 'alteration m their . robes is about to be made. The good,, old British red is to enter more # fully into their pants, jackets and cranium, gear. The she- . male "lootenants" and "majahs," etc., are to be accommodated with . more tapes and pieces of string. Some of the naughty hussies must have been dropping their stockings before the blanky bombardier, and consequently an extra supply of garters are on the way from Hengland. Of course, the tapes and strings will be all red, to be m keeping with ' the blood-and-flre coat of arms. Let us hope the bally drum will be painted red, and that when the , soul-seeking capting utters nil burning slang it. will be red .'ot This is the age of ' Ted federations, so success to the Salvarmy and the robin red-breasts. • ' .'».'■ • A certain fish shop m the dour toun is doing remarkably well as a Sunday flirtation saloon. There's nothing wrong m flirting on Sunday; it's often times a healthier job than getting housemaid's knees attending kneedrill. Could it really, be possible that the sweet ' girls and the over-fed swanks carry on their innocent games under the noses of the inquisitive fish? Fish have a retentive way with them, besides swallowing hooks. In the interests of good fish and decent fare, and "" m order to drive the silly coons and frisky. girls to the Lupins. "Truth" suggests that Parson Bob Wood and Baptist Gray give the Bible a spell, and have a lookvin at the Sunday flirtation saloon. It's doubtful, though, that when the parsons get a peep, it will be a case of "and great was the fall thereof." '■'■#.. * * Coming up the street the other day, "Truth" had the sorry bit of luck to see a dear lady who couldn't move an Inch. She wasn't maimed In any way, neither was she drunk. The Dunedin dames don't drink— but you can't believe your ears. At any rate, the lady, and a prominent one too, needed a push on, and not a blooming bloke was game to give it. A big cop. blew on the scene, and ono of his eyes squinted as he beheld the game. As if taken by surprise, the lady collapsed, and it was with great difficulty tho cop-man found her ,m the gutter. "Take me to Mr. Fouhy instantly," said the lady. "Whaflor, mum?"'a6ked the Jonnop. "You 'avon't been liquoring! What's the matter?" "There's nothing tho matter," 'remarked madam, sharply; "the scandalous dressmaker made my dress too tight and this mob of idiots havo obstructed the footway." The irate lady was placod m a cab and the idiots dispersed.