The Deadhead's Diary.

NZ Truth, Issue 471, 27 June 1914, Page 3

The Deadhead's Diary.

Heard outside a Melbourne theatre recently. First-nighter, No. 1: "What do you think of Lauder?" 1 Firstnighter, No. 2: "Urn! Very good; but then I've heard him on the gramophone." . * •• ' * * "Deadhead's" friend "Skeocfr," writing ■ from London, says, "I knocked against Little Tien one night last week. He had been ill, but is now as fit as a fiddle again. The mitey comic man is beginning to put on flesh. He has given up appearing at more than ouu show a night. He blamed the "rush" turns for his recent illness, and is also Of opinion that the hurry, worry and flurry of flying all over the place are bound to be detrimental to an artist's work. * * * Frank Lawton, the whistling comedian, who made such a hit as Blinky Bill m "The Belle of New York" is dead. He had been long m ill-health and was much depressed of late owing to the difficulty of obtaining ens^S^ments. British actor folk and theatregoers have opened a subscription for the benefit of his widow and four orphan children. * . m - , '* A Jew was praising the late Sir Henry Irving's performance as Mattiias m "The Bells" to another son of Abraham. "Voriderfool!" he said. "It vaa ze mos' vonderfool zing m ze vorld!" His fellow Yid was not a bit impressed, ; and replied impatiently, "Vonderfool, you link? Zat's not vonderfool et all! Could Irving puy von gross ov steel pens- vor tenbence an zell 'em at von zhilling ze doze-en? Zat's vot I calls vonderfool!" * -- . ■ * -• ■ ' . Here are two slabs of patter from the latest American vaudeville: "If I hadn't the prisince of mind < to kick ye m the face.a lot of damages ye'd have got^out of .that railway accident" "And look at yer manners! A fine thing ye; did at the dinner. Some wan asked, ye to pass the nut-cracker andsye -handed him a beer bottle." ■ . ; " ■ .■ -■'.>.' '- ■ -i This is what passes for "humor" m the land of the Wooden Ham! "Deadhead" presumes that New Zealand Is included m this. An exchange says, "The Banzals have played through America and Europe. "But not even m any country,' says Mr. Ogino, 'have we received more courtesy and kindness than m Australia. No country could treat us better than /Australia lias done. Here wo have had the time of our life.' " Evidently, the Jap has yet to learn that there is such a term as Australasia, for, surely, the Banzais cannot have forgotten their magnificent reception during their two seasons m New Zealand,

The Chrisichurch Opera House, commanded by the Brennan-Fuller Vaudeyillo Proprietary, was' the scene of a little contretemps, "mix-up," or whatever ono likes to call it, a few weeks ago. It appears that, the Welch-Car-basso and .Howard-Bears arid Dogs combinations, who are well known to Wellington audiences, do not hit it off too well. , The ill-feeling between them culminated ono night when Wilton Welch arid Louise Carbasse found a number of their-boxes, which they had left just outside their dressing rooms, covered with derisive labels, such as "These are, stars — -we don't think!" Tho pair refused to go pii until every label was removed, so the popular manager, Harry Chadwick, had to rope m a boy to do tho "pulling off process. The incident was responsible for quite a lot of excitement and amusemrnt among . the theatro hands generally. The 'popular impression is that tho culprit was a little black curly bear — the one that received the college education and does all the Tango- tea dances so nicely.

"Judith 6f Bothulia" is an apocryphal story, but the story of the first kinematogra.ph to visit Noo Ziland isn't, 'spito o' wot some blokes says. Somebody has dug up an ancient copy- of tho "Sydney Boodletln," dated April 10, 1897, and from the limbo of the dusty past comes the following paragraph:— Tho first cinematograph which { ever struck Maoriland was taken around there recently by Brother. '? Jog MacMahon on a six months' tour, anil did record business. All the same a very disgusted MacMahon. has now brought tho machine back, and Is opening his show — a first-rato one, by the wwainy — m Bendigo on Easter Monday. Thus does the dead past refuse lo bury Its dead, for since then Joe' has gone from good to better, and from belter to best. This ancient excerpt from the "Boodletin" hua its uses, too. -for It effectually settles the controversy as to who was the first to Introduce the "movies" into (lorzone— namely, that unholy trinity, Joe. Jim and Charlie MacMahon!

Ellen Terry's pathetic struggle to cheer up tho treasurer of iho syndicate responsible for her present tour of New Zealand Is exciting much public sympathy for the celebrated uctrcHS. She boa been a remarkable woman. But her proper plnco now is an old arm chttir— not the footlights— for she l» near to the allotted span of threescore years and ten. She has had three hubbies. Her kust was a Yanke* called Carew. whose family nann> Ih Ufiselmann. of Chicago. At IMitsburg, March 22, 15)07, Iho knot was tied. There wan. says a London newspuper, an amusing scene at the oillce when the clerk of the Justice of tho react*, as m duty bound, asked the usual questions put to those intending to marry. After Mr. Carew had declared that he was a bachelor and had not bvr« imtrrl«stl b«for>, thy qm-fftion was put to Miss Terry. Slve admitted that thin would bo her third marriage, and protested with mock paihon ugalnst such pcrsonul <juestion«. but they had to be answered. "My llrst marriage." «ald the lady, "waa dbjMotved by divorce, and my second by death. You see. I was qulto young when 1 married the first time, und It was a mistake." To the next question, " How old are you?" Miss Terry cried: "Oh, mercy! Put me down a« 59. but keep It v. secret, or people will think this 1* an advertl«dnis trick." • Mr. Carmlchuel then married them m the presence of two lawyers and tha el«rk*. and. after pledging all to *<hxr<<ey, they returned to the hotel. Though they lKtth appeared «'xcctt?dlngly happy, and Ml#* Terry In hnr sprlKhlltOHt mood that nliiht, not one of i ho company »U«pecKd what had pajjactl.

Frank Harvey, who played Joe Allan m "Sealed Orders," is responsible for the following little joke. "In the English, provinces, I once had to address a character m a play as 'You Scum!' He had to retort, 'Scum always rises to the top.' A ready wit from the front seat m the gallery supplemented this with, 'But it's still scum."

V • * * Miss Dorothy Gardner, well known m Dunedin, is reaping laurels for herself with the Dandies at Bondi Junction, Sydney. She is "pressed" thus. "Dorothy Gardner, the comedienne of the company, is bright and vivacious. She is always the hit. Miss Gardner is particularly good m 'The Quakeress.' " This reads well for a young lady who graduated m amateur lines m the Kirk City.

Tommy Armstrong, the very clever comedian and a. popular draw m New Zealand, is footing the lights this week at the Princess, Dunedin; Tommy is one of the best m vaudeville, and he sustains his reputation fully by his latest. But — by the way — since being here last the genial Tommy has acquired the attention and aid of a longhaired chum. He is a married man now, and the sharer of his affection and l)is biz. is pretty Mabel Howarth. Mabel is proving herself a very successful partner, so far as the public can. judge, and it must be one better behind the scenes.

Otis Harlan, the ■frell-k'nown American actor, has a small daughter not yet ten, who promises to blossom out into, a real fine humorist; m fact, she's pretty class now. This year, when he ■was on tour, he 1 - received a picture postcard from her designed and drawn by herself. The rough, drawing depicted a man with a wooden leg sittirfg before a roaring fire. The man was asleep and his artificial limb was thrust forward until it looked like being immediately ignited by the blaze. Underneath the little girl had written: "Before the Footlights." Distinctly smart, eh?

From press accounts Mischa Elman is meeting with phenomenal Success on his present world tour, all the critics ..declaring that for sheer, genius this amazing boy has never been equalled. This violin wizard of tho Twentieth Century is said- to be breaking all records for receipts and enthusiasm. At his recent concert at the Orchestra Hall, Chicago, the big' Auditorium (seating 3500) was sb crowded * that several hundred chairs had to be placed on the stage to hold Elman's admirers, and even then many wero, turned away. The young violinist seems to have carried his audiences by storm all over the American Continent, from the Atlantic to the Pacific.

Eardley Turner is thp author of a good story anent some social, customs typical of Australasia. , He says, "The 'gods' m Australian theatres have their quaint oti&Vvations to make sbnietimes. I cail to mind an occasion during my first trip to the 'sunny. South' when I was playing 'Bruno Rocco' m •The Eternal City' at Hiss Majesty's, m Sydney. .Poor Rbcco, giving evidence at a court-martial, raises his voic6 when replying to certain questions. 'You needn't shout, my good man,' says the officer of the court. My reply was loud and defiant. 'There's no law gainst shouting;' 'I should say not!' came 'a sympathetic voice from tho gallery nnd Yho entiro audience, cheerod. I wjondered,' then, why my lino had gone so well. I know now!"

At ton minutes to eight o'clock on Monday night last at His Majesty's Theatre m Wellington, Manager Walter Fuller was called to the telephone. "Is that you, Mf. Fuller?" came m "cult-chawed" tones over the wire. "Yes! Who's speaking? " "Mrs. -— -, of Hobson-street. Will you please tell me, Mr. Fuller,' if Millie Doris is appearing: ,to-nlght?" "Yes, madam!" replied the genial Walter; "but why do you ask?" "Oh! I simply Wanted to know if it, would be safe to bring a lady friend." "What reason have you, madam, for making such a strange statement*" "Oh! you know, Mr., Fuller, I httve heard that Miss Doris is given to singing very objectionable songs." "That Is the first I have heard of such a thing In His Majesty's," retorted Walter m tqnes of surprise. "Allow me to Inform you that anything 'blue* is treated to a dose of blue-pen-cil m this show." "Thank you, Mr. Fuller! I am ho pleased. My lady friend and I win be along directly." "Damn!" said Walter, ua he rang off with a whirr.

The Massey Government appear to have given George Wlrth, of circus fame, anything but a Square Dual. He has been unbosoming himself to the "Theatro Magazine" as to crippling railway charges. " People think," said George, "that, becauflo wo visit their towns every year, we are making a lot of money out oi' them. Such people never stop to think of the enormous expense we urc* under. Our principal, trouble now is with Now Zealand. • There the conditions nro incredible. Last year they hit us» up aguin In everything. Highway robbery Is tho only term that describes it?

. . . They evidently thought that as wo visited New Zealand every year we must bo making a lot out of them and thereupon not to work to got what they considered should be their cut. For the eight weeks we were there we did good business. But despite thbi, such waa the way the Government en me down *m vs — and we have our book* to 'prove it— that we lost JCIOOO on the tour. In addition wo had our waggons and cages damaged to the extent of £200 and loHt two valuable homes and two costly bean*. In previous years our minimum admission charge wan 2s. This tltno we had to muko it 3s. The extra shilling did not benefit us m the lt?a«t. Kvcry patron who Bought tl 3m ticket gave the extra shilling to the Government. It was a levy through us by the Government on the people, , .

1 liuvo already Indicated what our 1o«j> was. Of course, If we had Hiruck bad weather it is bard to say how much worse we would have come out of it. UcHldo* the railways, there are other ways—ways, for certain reasons, that Ido not wish to .specify— ln wblch they got m tin m New Zouland. One of these devices meant, where wo played one night stands, an extra, outlay by u« to the tune of £30. The reault J« that, iinl<M»« the Government glvo utf moro favorable terms, wo ahnll havo to cut New Zealand out of our Hlnernr>'- It I* Impossible for v* to go thorn ngnln until it consents to do this. . .

I would kiy tl>nt for the whole yeur round wo pay jC-'uQ a week m rhilwny charges to the different States Jn the Commonwealth tmtl to ll\«j Govcrpnxrol