DISSECTING A DRUNK.

NZ Truth, Issue 327, 30 September 1911, Page 7

DISSECTING A DRUNK.

PROHIBITION AND PHYSIO-

LOGY.

Alcoholic Alchemy. Touching the ''Tummy." s [From "Truth's" Christchurch Rep.] The methods of the fie^e and untamed Prohibitionists m Cathedralsquare, Christchurch, are not confined to revolting details of 1 • the wine-making industry. A weird person with halting mile stones m his speech has lately "been m evidence'with a revolving chart covered with ; ghastly pictures of man's ihriards.; 1 The fascinated pedestrian gazes with horror upon a replica of his- own, liver sand! a distorted reproduction of his kidneys, with fearsome representations of his digestive machinery and -expanded heart, till he feels all of the symptoms (including;, specks before the eyes) described uv : the average patent medicine aclver- ,• tisement. The deplorable effects off; beer on the organs is portrayed mii colors of SCARLET, GREEN, YELLOW . AND HELIOTROPE, with the exaggerated zeal of a nori-. drinking artist, -for it is an astonishing fact that there are non-tip-pling artists, altihough they are not geniuses. This method of warfare m .view of the local option poll suggests retaliation on the part of j Bung, who could easily obtain stock pictures of the appearance of internal organs attacked by diseases which caused the death of prominent Prohibitionists, and it is probable that the spectacle would be nioro horrifying taan the paintings of boozey inriafrds, and a grave warning against THE INSIDIOUS INFLUENCE OF PROHIBITION. Some Intetrestiilng physiological acts emerge from the cesspool" of hysteria and furnish the comic . relief necessary to maintain the equilibrium of the lecture. A persion with an extremely red nose is shown, and it is explained how the action of whisky paralyses certain blood vessels, with the result that grog blossoms, sprout, and the beak as--suines the warm color that wouldmake it bandy as a railway danger signal upon an emergency. "Buthow is it that so many people who--do not drink have red noses ?" ■. asked the water-inspired apostle, and the crowd took a deep breathy of expectancy.- ' The red nose, it ap-< pears, is also due to indigestion '" iwhich causes alcohol to form m the '' stomach and operates on thp smell-. ,-er m the suspicious manner des- ' crlbed. Many people, said the impassioned speaker, were really WALKING DISTILLERIES OF ALCOHOL through their inability to digest •> their food, and m his own personal ■ experience, where it had been necessary to tap these victims of bad cooka, the fluid. extracted smelt strongly of alcohol, though the victim might be a staunch Prohibitionist. Thds opens up the number ,of rabid Prohibitionists, known to .be victims of indigestion. The fierce 'declamatory remariks, the irresponsible •> statements which keep the fanatic m continual hot water, the vdle abuse of the "Trade," are all now capable of reasonable explanation m the dyt^peptic condition of -the speaker, who is suffering' from the effects of alcohol brewed m his own gastric manufactory. The person a.rl'ested for drunkenness, -whose breath smelt of drink, yet who had not touched a drop, but was suffering from the full sensation after meals, iis now vindicated. The explanation i» ■ ■ ■■ FRAUGHT WITH REMARKABLE j POSSIBILITIES when national Prohibition is carried. All the boozer has to do, when he has absorbed all the pain-killer and methylated spirit on the premises, is to eat a large pie produced by a juvenile cookery class, add some underdone veal and cucumber, and top ofT with the leading article- of the local Prohibition rag, and he will be enabled to go on A "WILD INDIGESTIBLE JAG. A man who 1 i kes his al cohol daily has only got to marry a. woman whos<i deplorable cooking- is. her accomplishment, and may live cheaply on self-generatort whisky thereafter. Sly dogs, these Prohibitionists. Fancy jcroin.ir on a dyspeptic ran-tan habitually without anybody suspecting it all these years !