Untitled

NZ Truth, Issue 265, 23 July 1910, Page 1

At last Man is obtaining a bloodless revenge. At Akaroa recently a hatpin of one hockey girl. badly injured the eye of another girl. A few more of. these happenings will make travelling m a crowded tramcar comparatively safe.

It would be poetic justice if the bookmakers went m for the parson line o£ business when they get bumped out by the wowser mob. It is a well-paid occupation, and, from recent evidence, the principal qualification is a capacity lor yell. The pencilters possess this accomplishment m a generous degree.

Aeroplane races arc "the most exciting sports of the day. Usually, most of the machines get smashed up, and the spectacle of aviators hanging on to ' the branches of trees by their false teeth and their fingers gives golden opportunities to humorous young things addicted to taking snapshots. One man's scientific experiment is always some other fellow's side-splitting joke.'.

Rather an amusing incident occurred towards the end of a football match, Bachelors v. Benedicts, m • the Forty Mile Bush the other day, and it was no "doubt more appreciated by the spectators than those immediately concerned. The married men got a dri'b<biling rushf'on which carried the ball right over the single men's line, and into a lagoon, into which [our or five players disappeared m their frantic endeavor to avert a try.. .Now, had it been the married men who disappeared, "Critic" might have thougfct oE sympathising with the wives.

At the sheep show a city cynic was gazing at a mass of wrinkles and wool covering; a certain proportion of tallow, over which was hung a legend, "Price, 900 guineas." "Wonder," he asked a bystander, "w o uld you appreciate his price if served up m a hash house as mutton chops ?" The bystander happened to be a worshipper of wool and juirrbucks, and nearly fainted. "Mutton chops," he roared. "Qod, man, do you know what you are saying ? Why," that's President Thirty-two !" He could not have been more horrified had the woolly one been the Archangel Michael, and he had caught the cynic plucking a plume to clean His pipe with.